There's something wrong with my updates, they're not emailing me whenever a story is updated. So sorry if I'm late, I'll try to keep up. Another great chapter. For some inexplicable reason I like her brother, Rodolphus. And Snape was adorable sticking up for her like that. Wonder if he likes her?
Author's Response: My dear faithful reviewer you are too sweet! And about your updates: Is this just happening for my story or for all your favorites? Iíll try to see if a mod can do anything about it. Thanks!
Yay, an update! The dialog in this chapter was awesome, the back-and-forth quips between the Marauders and Emma and Angelina make me crack up. 20 chapters, wow. Do you already have them all written up? I hope you do all seven years for Angelina, because this is amazing.
I see there's still some bitterness for Angelina that Emma's her friend, I wonder how long that'll take to end... Will it worsen when Angelina meets her family again?
I'm so excited for chapter 11!
Author's Response: I donít have each chapter typed up, although I do have an outline. In fact in the few chapters youíll get a glimpse into Angelinaís family life as well as a few startling revelations (one about her mother). Stay tuned for more.rnrnP.S. Chapter 11 is in the queue.
I love Angelina's relationship with Emma. It's very believable the way that she tries to be harsh and distant but she forgets herself and realizes she actually likes her.
I think you were right about the shifting points of view. It was good to get a wider picture of all of the characters at the beginning. Now that the story has levelled out we've gotten more of a focus on Angelina and I think that was a very clever choice.
One thing I'm really anticipating is a glimpse of Angelina's family life now that she's become a 'blood traitor.' From the reaction of her brother and man in the painting I think it would be interesting.
As a side note, I tried adding this story to my favorites and it never showed up. Anyone else having trouble with this?
Hope there's more soon!
Author's Response: I am so pleased you like it! And if you continue reading youíll be seeing more of Angelinaís family in up coming chapters. As far as trouble adding to favorites, I havenít heard anything about this; hopefully itís just a temporary glitch in the site. Let me know.rnrnA new chapter should be coming out soon. Itís been in the queue for awhile now.rnrnThanks so much for your wonderful review. And hope you continue reading.rn
I can't tell if the first review I left for you showed up on the page, so I'm just going to leave another just in case. Plus, you deserve more than 9 reviews, haha.
I love your OC, she's very fleshed out and believable, plus it's hard to hate her even though she holds some prejudice. That's a difficult feat to pull off. Her interactions between the other characters is very interesting, especially with people like Snape, Lily and Sirius. I think Sirius is jealous of Snape and Angelina!
Anyway, please update soon because story has got me completely hooked. Also, could you tell me how often you update and roughly how long this fic will be? I'd like to know because it always disappoints me to find out that it takes months before an update!
The only complaint I have is the first chapter, which almost turned me away from the story. I'm not sure how to explain, maybe it was too... choppy? Sorry I'm not more specific. But you might want to think about rewriting it so it flows better, maybe that's why you haven't gotten as many reviews as you deserve!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Another chapter should be on the way shortly. I try to update regularly, but my beta is very busy and it sometimes takes awhile for her to get back to me. Also I have had to rewrite the story to fit with the information received in book 7. That said, this story should be 20 chapters, which will take us through Angelinaís first year. After that it depends on the level of interest in the story. I have rough outlines for all seven years, but who knows how much Iíll be able to write.
I think you have a really great start to this story, and I'm SHOCKED that you don't have more reviews.
You characterize your oc's really effectively, as well as the canon characters. It's impressive how you're able to make readers sympathize with Angelina despite the fact that she's so arrogant and bigoted.
One thing that threw me off just a little bit was the way that the point of view shifts every once in a while from Angelina to another character, like Lily. To me it seems like a story flows better if each chapter is from one character's point of view...but that's just my own preference.
Congrats to you, my dear! You are definitely very talented!
Author's Response: First off, let me tell you thanks for the review.rnrnI think this problem of multiple view points is mainly in the first chapter. This was somewhat intentional as I wanted everyone in the compartment on the train to be able to share their views, thus allow readers to see what kind of world the story is being set in and how the canon characters are going to be portrayed and why. After chapter one the story should shift exclusively towards Angelinaís view. That said, it may be confusing to do start out with multiple view points. If I were writing original fiction I wouldnít, but in fanfiction it seems it necessary to establish the rules of this interpretation. Maybe not. Let me know. rnrnrnI really appreciate your comments and Iíll keep it in mind in writing future chapters.rn
Chapter seemed kind of rushed but the dialogue was good. It might be more enjoyable if you slowed things down just a tad, adding more descriptions and thoughts so it didn't seem as though the entire day was rushing by. Just helpful advice. ;)
Keep on writing and I'm sure more reviews will come.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for all your comments, theyíre really helpful and I appreciate the time you took to make them. Hope you will continue reading!
Ha! Cute ending! FuFu was so adorable, too. So are all house-elfs. I want to keep every one of them when they're mentioned. Good chapter, once again. There is my review.
Author's Response: I love house elves too.
Good chapter once again. I greatly enjoy your choice in words and you do a good job displaying the characters correctly.
Onto chapter 3!
Author's Response: Hope you continue to enjoy. More chapters are on their away!
Wow. You're writing style is amazing. You can always tell when an author has it together and knows what their doing or when they don't and you got it together, hun. lol.
It makes me sad that you've only received 4 reviews. Your story seems worthy of so much more. Your conversations were clever and enjoyable, as a last add on and I will look forward reading the next chapter.
Author's Response: You made me blush. Thanks!
Wow! Someone is getting up on the wrong side of the bed tomarrow! Lol. Well I'm waiting for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Hoped you liked it.
Author's Response: Iím glad.
I absolutely loved the sorting hat's bit - the first time round, how you didn't actually hear her voice. It was clever, and well done, too.
Is there a hint at some kind of power she has over people, like a natural Occlumensy or something? I dunno, I just picked that up. You know, I think this will end up a very interesting fic! I hope you continue it, I really do. Will there be romance along the line? I know, it's early days, but I'm a sucker for all that, and am personally hoping for some Sirius / Angelina after last chapter's duel, but I might be crazy.
IT WAS GREAT! Don't let the lack of reviews so far tell you otherwise. Usually people who read MWPP are looking for a light hearted Marauder fic, or L/J, that's all. I thought it was really good, and could turn into a very interesting story, with a lot of potential.
Keep it up, yeah? =D
Author's Response: Your comments are very perceptive, although I think youíll be surprised (or at least I hope). Youíre right about the duel between Angelina and Black not being the first - or even close. As for Angelina not hating Black . . . well their history is . . . complicated. As for a relationship? Youíll have to be satisfied with more duels and pranks. For now. Hope youíll stick with it to find out what happens. Chapter 3 should be out soon.
Okay, I noticed this had two chapters, yet no reviews - shocking! So, I thought, who needs Chem homework? I'll read this instead.
I liked it, especially Angelina and Sirius's inventive duelling, and the way she was just assessing it, like they'd done it so many times before, and it was all a game - I can tell they don't really hate each other that much, otherwise ... well, I can just tell.
I also liked how you compared their thoughts about each other, and they were similar, yet different. It was really nice.
And I loved her haughtiness! It just made me smile. Especially - "Donít know what you were doing.Ē which just made me laugh.
I'm going to read chapter two now! Hooray!
Author's Response: Thanks for your attention!