PLZ, PLZ, PLZ, PLZ FINISH THE TRILOGY!!!!!! I HSVE TO KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!!
Hello there (:
Just thought I'd leave you a review there.
Love the story! It's refreshing too see a charcatrer that despite being a witch, she's also a human girl. She's relatable, but there's the distinct magical sense about her. Also love the fact that she's a Slytherin. Don't get many of them. Can't wait to read more, when will you update? xxxx
wheres the nxxt chapter!
I like seeing how down to earth Carmen is. I see how she likes to irk her parents by hanging out with the lower class (elves, mudbloods, etcs.). And I can see that she likes simpler things instead of extravagance from the way you talk about her bracelets. But despite the words and harsh feelings, I still get the notion that she does have a tender spot for her Mom and Dad.
"She missed her motherís embraces; she ignored the constant criticism."
Her friendship with Amber (a mublood and a Gryffindor) shows that Carmen is not a typical Slytherin with pureblood prejudices. I love the conversation they where Amber is trying to hook Carmen up with someone. After having an argument (almost a fight) with Malfoy (after he insults her) Amber thinks that Carmen should hook up with him!
So funny, since you'd think that would be the last person she would want to see her with.
But the juiciest tidbit in this story is that CARMEN HAS A CRUSH ON SNAPE! This alone will have me reading to the very end
Author's Response: Ooh, thankees! You've made my day! *goes off to do homework with a HUGE grin*
I like this chapter. I love how you lay the foundation for us by introducing Carmen's little character traits.
I can see that she is a rebel of sorts but not in an emo-ish way. I get this feeling that she's trying to stand out from the pristine and privilege life that her parents has surrounded her with. From her short black hair (directly opposite of her mother's long blonde curls) to her short short skirt and converser, I feel like she's trying to be her own person instead of being fitted into a mold with an "exquisite and high-maintenance" hairstyle that her parent's are trying to stuff her in.
I also get this feeling that she has this thirst to prove herself to others and her family. You can see that in the argument that she has with them as Flitwick's letter comes in suggesting extra lessons. But as much as she wants to prove them wrong, I can see how her pride steps in the way from the scene with her bedroom door.
The flash backs with the lake and the pixies is very interesting. Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
Okay, I've got good things to say and bad things to say about this fic - and not unlike myself, I'll start with the latter.
Converse sneakers, friendship bracelets, slytherin colors..
..all turned me off this fic (I read this fic in three tries, the first time I abandoned it as soon as I got to the converse part).
I understand the desire to bestow your character with human traits, I even sort of understand making her the witch next door.. But as cute as it is for the two of you to share a wardrobe, it's very unbecoming of a character to be so latched onto things unless the author merely humors their materialism - you coddle it and applaud it.
True, Luna is shown to own a pair of chucks herself - in the movie, which is not canon, but
a) they're not your emo cousin's sneakers (for starters, they're not black)
b) she's a pretty off-beat character - she can wear anything (a necklace of corks, come on?!) without it being OOC
But no one is so preoccupied with their material posessions in the books (Draco is a tad bit materialistic, but we don't love him for it).
Brunette + blue-eyed + emo (let's be honest here..) + slytherin = have all gotten a bit cliche now (not "a bit" - a lot, actually) I don't know what compels the authors so potently to pen these pretty girls with droopy hair and amazing eyes (fantasies and self-insertion? I dare not say), but nevertheless they could compose their own army (and not that of dumbledore, I presume).
Now the better things!
Underwater creatures, heinous father, inner monologue about father and Flitwick have all done their part to redeem you in my eyes.
..But if I might ask, what is so cheesy about dating Lee Jordan?
Don't take offence and please continue
Author's Response: ... just as a note, Carmen's got black hair. And Lee Jordan would be cheesy since he's the best friend of her best friend's boyfriend (woah, that's a lot of times to say friend in one sentence). And Carmen's not supposed to be that pretty, actually. Her eyes are just something I point out since I saw someone with eyes like hers and just thought that it was fasinating (hey, I'm weird like that). Can I just ask you one thing... what does the witch next door mean? Thanks for your review! :)
*throughs green-and-silver colored confetti*
Ahem. Okay, so you already know that I absolutely adore this story, but I am in a really good mood, so I figured that I should leave you a review on your good work!
Carmen is an amazing character with very realistic qualities. You have started the story in a way that would have readers coming back for more.
There's not many writers who have that quality, so you should definantly excercise it!
Author's Response: Aww, thankees! *huggles Courtney*
I like this so far, Cammie. It's pretty interesting, and I like how Cammie so far isn't at all Mary-Sueish. I like her horrible Charms skills, it's refreshing to see an incompetent witch! ;)
The only thing that bugged me was the last line, about spreading her wings. I dunno, for some reason I felt it was slightly out of place. It seemed to come out of nowhere, and it wasn't expanded on either, it was just there. It seemed not to fit in with the story so far, and I think the ending would have been better had you simply done without it, or tried to subtly include it somewhere else in the chapter.
Other than that, I really like this so far, and I can't wait to see Cammie's attitute at Hogwarts.
Author's Response: Thankees! *huggles BloodRayne* *cough* Except Cammie is my name and Carmen is the OC's. Heheh. :D
i really like this so far! it seems like a believable story line, not too cliche, and i like how you gave us the whole first chapter to get to know carmen, who seems like a very real, nice character. i'm looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Good so far. I will keep reading, if you will keep writing. So write so that I can have something to read!
Author's Response: Of course I'll keep writing! I'm just finishing up the next chapter to send it to my beta as I type this! :P
Just wanted to stop by and say that I really enjoyed this chapter.
Carmen seems like a great character!
Author's Response: Thanks! :) I hope that you'll stick around to read the rest!