This is a very, very special story. Not only is the plot perfect and the idea portrayed flawlessly, it is also an idea that no one else could ever had had, nor will ever have again. I can find no faults or problems with it, the style is consistent and captures both events and emotions with a voice which is so fluid it is hard to believe that this as written by more than one person. I absolutely loved this story, and you should both be very proud of it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading this story and taking the time to review. I am so happy you enjoyed it.
WOW! A very cool and unique story!
Author's Response: Thank you very much.
This is a really interesting story. I was quite surprised to realize that it was being told by a dragon; a creative idea.
The tone of this story interests me, as well. You got the tone of “long ago and far away” very well. The only thing is—and this may or may not be a problem—is that it’s hard to develop an emotional connection to the story. It wasn’t until Parvati really came onto the scene that I got more interested.
Good characterization. Zazza does well as your wise elder; I like this bit especially:
The Great Winged One had whispered to her, telling her she would not survive another winter's hibernation. It gives the idea that not only are dragons intelligent, but they have their languages and their lore, as well.
And I find it interesting that humans and dragons have built such a friendship. It doesn’t really fit with what we know about dragons, but this story works fine anyway.
"Listen, little ones, and I will tell you the true story of Parvati's Flight. Listen, and remember, for the brave and beautiful Parvati should be remembered forever. Listen, open your hearts as well as your ears, and give honor to the great warrior witch!”
This is almost too dramatic, but I like it. It slides easily into the idea of the great Teller of Tales. There is a balance between this and, as I said above, getting your reader more involved.
What an appropriate idea that Voldemort would use/enslave the dragons. They are such fearsome creatures that it’s only natural they would end up as part of his arsenal.
Hibernation time was upon us, but we were so bound by spells and chains we could not hunt for the food we would need to survive.
I don’t know how logical it would be to chain a group of dragons, but I enjoy the feel and flow of this story. It doesn’t need to make sense all the time.
And because I understood the pain and fury that raged in her soul. By this time Parvati was consumed by her need for vengeance. No ordinary familiar would do.
This is where your adventure story turns and dips into human nature, giving us more of an emotional attachment. Parvati’s story is what really binds us into the heart of this piece.
Once all the Dementors were gone, Parvati had no reason to live. She faded, and ten years after the end of the war, I covered her with my wing while she breathed her soul away.
This was interesting. I have not seen many fics that portray Parvati Patil as one likely to sell her soul for vengeance. I like it, though. You give Parvati this character, and you do a great job of keeping her in it.
Good job with this! I especially like the idea that this is told for years and years until now, a century and a half later. I think it’d be fun to stick that fact somewhere into the body of the tale. It’s very creative in plot and form (having a dragon as a narrator). Keep writing!
Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed the story. Most of which was a flight of fancy, however keeping the dragons under control was an idea I got from GoF. Hagrid brought Harry under the invisability cloak to see the dragons as well as Madame Maxine. This story was hammered out between my mother and I so it was really difficult to get something that made sense LOL. I do still write, but most of my fictions are a bit too much for this site.
Wonderful story! I love how Parvati (of all people) defeated the prejudice about dragons and befriended one. Humans should always gve others a chance.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! This story has not gotten many hits and I just noticed today that I had a review. I suspect my son, who has a habit of 'helping' must have deleated my e-mail notice. I am very sorry for not responding sooner. sinbad
Wow! I really liked this story! Good job!
Author's Response: We're so glad you liked our story. Hope you like our next one, too.