Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 07/27/09 21:58
Chapter: 'Neath Starry Skies

I have to say that this is a very well written poem and though I don't like the fact that here Hermione has died and Ron needs to move on, I think the thoughts here are very true to the characters. I find the contrast here between Ronald, as Hermione would have called Ron and 'Mione as I could very easily see Ron calling Hermione a great and lasting idea showing each of their true personalities.

The rhyming here throughout the poem is well done and very artistic, keeping true to the poetry form which you are writing. I like the ending of the last 2 paragraphs.

I admit that I do find "Tears 'pon his chest, feeling betray'd " a bit awkward, but it gets the point across, but it is broken apart with the consonants pulling the thoughts apart, although you may have tried to do that on purpose, as Ron was being pulled apart by his grief.

I also admit that I'm not sure where jade comes into the story, that thought confuses me a bit, too. I love the flow and the visuals of the rest of the poem and thank you for sharing it with us, your readers.

Reviewer: Raffles
Date: 03/20/08 20:53
Chapter: 'Neath Starry Skies

awww. that gave me goodbumbs. it was a lovley poem *tear drop*

Reviewer: XhayleeXblackX
Date: 07/03/07 18:21
Chapter: 'Neath Starry Skies

O wow, that was breathtakingly beautiful. I absolutely loved it. The ending was my favorite part. Really amazing job.

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 06/30/07 19:18
Chapter: 'Neath Starry Skies

Very nice - and very sad. I think I've read more pieces where Ron dies than Hermione, so this was interesting to read and see Ron's reaction. The end was particular well done:
"As Fawkes flew over, with serenade,
'Neath starry skies."
Beautiful ending! Good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: meryal
Date: 06/21/07 23:39
Chapter: 'Neath Starry Skies

Wow, your poem is amazing! It's dark, but somehow it's not oppressively so.

Yet loss of grief seemd to impart
As Fawkes flew over, with serenade,
Neath starry skies.

That's my favorite part. The wording that you used was awsome. I like how Fawkes is a part of the poem.

I must say, this poem is quite a bit of competion! Very well written.

~Meryal

Reviewer: meryal
Date: 06/21/07 23:39
Chapter: 'Neath Starry Skies

Wow, your poem is amazing! It's dark, but somehow it's not oppressively so.

Yet loss of grief seemd to impart
As Fawkes flew over, with serenade,
Neath starry skies.

That's my favorite part. The wording that you used was awsome. I like how Fawkes is a part of the poem.

I must say, this poem is quite a bit of competion! Very well written.

~Meryal

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