ohmygodric i actually factually thought that jordan was an "overseer"!

Author's Response: ACTUAL FACTUAL! From Berenstein Bears! And I'm glad the plot twist surprised you!

0_0

You've been rejected? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS!?! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?!?!?!? WHY AM I USING SO MUCH CAPS LOCK AND PUNCTUATION!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Well, it's KATIE TO TEH RESCUE!

(In other words, if you want me to, I'll take a look at it.)

Um... not spam... hm... I love this story? (What, I'm tired.)

- Katie, RESCUER OF FICS AND LOVER OF CAPS LOCK

Author's Response: I have been rejected for the PLOT. I can't change the plot! It builds over the three books! It makes me bleh!

aw! i am now an official emma/tyrone shipper, too!

Author's Response: Mwahahahaha!

aw! ted/ivy shipper in da house!

Author's Response: Hooray! They are so sappily cute, aren't they?

ooh! can't wait!


Author's Response: DUN DUN DUN!

woot! I loved the part abour the jacket. Forgive me for saying this, but I think that 'Lightfoot' is a pretty lame and dorky nickname.

~*~ Tine

Author's Response: It is a lame and dorky nickname. This is more indepth in the next book, but the girls wanted to be like the Marauders when they were younger, so they made up stupid faux-Marauder names and played a lot of pranks... I had to mention Ivy's name because she's the only one who really took it seriously!

It just occurred to me that I’ve never reviewed this chapter, even though I’ve read it a squintillion times. We can’t have that. *shakes head*

First of all, the way you just kind of jumped into a pretty pivotal scene BLOWS MY TINY BRAIN. It was great. And I loved how you gave us the immediate feeling of “it’s a normal day, but something really dramatic and terrible just happened that we won’t know unless we keep reading.” Perfect.

Then the way you just kind of started describing Number Seven, Gryffin Circle of Godric’s Hollow was great — actually, it reminded me of something JKR might do. The way you talked about the “cluttered and scattered with photographs” house that “gave off an aura of warmth and homeliness” was fantastic. Plus, I liked the fact that it “always seemed crowded.” It really sounds like Harry and Ginny’s house.

“There’s a cloud over there that look like an octopus strangling a walrus,” Ted commented, pointing overhead. Ha. That sounds like something my friends or I would say… you’ve done a really good job throughout this book of making everyone sound their age (fifteen). It’s all so realistic.

Ted is a really great character… one thing I’ve noticed that you did, probably without even meaning to, is take a stereotype and then give it a twist to make your own OC. With Ted you took the “optimistic nice guy” and turned him into the “EXCEEDINGLY optimistic nice guy with a beast of a persona ( ^_^ ) and a ‘furry little problem.’ ” I really like Ted… he seems like a person I’d want to be friends with.

Ivy is a play on the “quiet, shy girl” in the way that she is the “quiet, shy girl with a trauma-filled past and a brave streak.” She actually sounds a lot like me, now that I think about it… (I’m quiet in RL, and the rest bodes true, except for the ‘brave’ thing. I’m scared of the dark, as well as almost everything else.) BUT ENOUGH ABOUT BORING OL’ ME! I’m interested to see her development, considering what happens in Chapter Nine… how will she handle that in the second book? I got a taste in Chapter Ten, but I want the whole bowl.

Why am I getting the feeling that you are meant to be Haley? ^_^ No, really, I like Haley most of all. She’s so HYPER! (I’m hyper OL and occasionally in RL. Give me sugar and I go insane.) Anyway, she’s kind of the “hyper” person who becomes a “hyper and fun-loving, yet also surprisingly brave and logical, as well as rather rash with decisions” person. (I got the last three traits from Chapter Nine… I thought the thing with her trying to kill Jordan was REALLY an “I wasn’t thinking!” moment.) And I, too, love public singing. Tonight at dinner I burst out with a lovely and random (plus one octave up) rendition of “Into The Fire” when asked what I had been listening to so much. ^_^

Jordan is a play on the “emo git” who is really more of a “secretly very artistic emo only-slightly git with a reason for being so and a genius to boot” person. I can really relate to Jordan — I’m not the darkest, nor am I a constant git, but the way you wrote him appeals to that side of me. Out of the five, he’s the one I’d go out with. *is slightly boy crazy* I really like the way he interacts with his friends and family here… he’s all… Jordan. That’s the only way I can describe it.

Emma is the one person out of the Five who’s personality seems less set-in-stone. We don’t see as much of her in this book, and I’d really like to see more of her in the two to come… She seems like a really good and loyal friend, too. Emma also seems to have inherited her mother’s talent, along with her father’s temper. ^_^ I love the fact that you took Ron (who was never really described as handsome) and Hermione (who was always described as plain) and gave their child beautiful looks. I’d always wanted that to happen.

Ivy’s reaction to Malfoy’s breakout was perfect and believable. I also liked the fact that you took the two main approaches to tragedy — panic and shock/sadness — and showcased them by two different characters, Ivy and Jordan, in one paragraph. I especially liked the line: He sounded as though trying his very best to keep himself from running around yelling and throwing very expensive and breakable objects. That, despite the seriousness of the situation, made me chuckle. Something about your matter-of-fact wording…

I loved seeing Harry’s POV on the whole Malfoy situation — and that bit really put some things into perspective (Malfoy would go after Ivy, he wanted revenge on Ron, etc.). The part about him not ever seeing Malfoy as a Dark Lord really made me think… I never saw Malfoy as a Dark Lord, but something about your fic convinced me that it was possible.

Harry adopting Ivy was written excellently — he wanted to take his mind off of the Final Battle, so he focused on her. Then, rather than immediately jumping to the conclusion of adopting Ivy, he thought it through first. Kudos to you for showing us his thought process and therefore making it MUCH more realistic.

- Katie

P.S. I made a quiz to see what member of the Five you are! PM or email me for the link.

P.P.S. I am the 200th review! WOOT!

P.P.S. This review is 961 words long — I could submit it to MNFF as a fic! :o It’s the longest review I’ve ever written.

Author's Response: Wow! This is an insanely long review! I did kind of develop the characters from original "types," and they're still fairly flat in this installment. We'll see a bit more 3D portrayal of them in the next two books.

It's funny about Haley... I share a lot with her (like the hyperness, the shortness, the singing and dramatic-ness, the impetuosity), but unlike me, she's really girly and loves pink and 'squeals' and 'chirps' everything, which isn't like me at all.

I share a lot with both Haley and Jordan, so I think it's a bit interesting that they're such polar-opposite characters!

As well as her lovely traits like cleverness and bravery and athleticism, Emma also inherited her father's emotional immaturity and her mother's irritability, and she's a bit obsessed with the concept of free will and making her own decisions-- you see more of that later. But she is a very flawed character... I still like her, though.

Ooh! Me wants to see the quiz! And whoa, 200 reviews! Crazy!

Lobed the story. You didn't name Harry's kids Lily and James! THANK YOU FOR THAT UN-CLICHE!
I'm going to say I liked Jordan best because I don't want Ivy to bite my head off for saying I like her boyfriend! : (
Ankh & }:=8}

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I'm glad you "lobed" it. Hehehehee, I don't think you need to worry about Ivy biting your head off. Now, *TED* during the full moon, maaaaybe.

*sniff* good chapter!

Author's Response: AWww, thank ya!

*sniff* the title of this chapter just cracks me up when i read it! lol

Author's Response: Thanks! It kind of reminds me of Snape boogying in a leisure suit.