Reviews For Deign
Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 06/17/07 11:04
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh my. That was…gorgeously done. I love missing moments and this one was just very well written. Let me first say what struck me the most about it. You didn’t FORCE the romance. Whatever came was enough – there was no forced kiss, no stuttered “I lov-never mind,” or anything of the sort. I loved that. You didn’t force the romance in – so many authors feel like in order for it to be romantic they have to have hearts and kisses and bold proclamations – most of the time, they’ll put that sort of thing in where it has no business being, and you didn’t. That was simply beautiful.

At the same time, we see enough contrast between the tense, excited Ron/Lavendar and the comfortable, easygoing Ron/Hermione to glean out the romance. There is a sort of romance in the way Ron and Hermione interact in this piece, probably because of my inevitable comparison to the way Ron and Lavender act together. The romance is one where both people feel so at ease…and you know that’s just love right there. Of course, Ron’s thoughts about Hermione add to this feeling – and you don’t overdo it. That was the strongest part of the romance for me in this piece. It’s subtle and delicate, just perfect. :)

Alright, on to the critique! I hate the way Lavender’s been portrayed but that’s exactly how canon portrays her so I can’t find fault with the story for that. *rolls her eyes* *giggles* Beyond that point, there was an issue with Hermione’s characterization that bothered me. She seems a bit too laidback and easygoing.

I mean, I think she would bring her class notes to Ron to look over and his textbooks and his homework assignments. I think she’d give him an “I told you so” lecture about how he shouldn’t eat things that are from a mysterious person. You know, the motherly/academic side of her that we see so much in canon. I love what you have of her right now – don’t change any of that – but I think you definitely need to add the other side of her, too, otherwise it doesn’t seem like Hermione.

To finish up, I loved your last line. The grin and the lingering scent just creates a perfect, meaningful image that just emphasizes and summarizes the message of the entire story.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you, Kumy! *huggles* I wasn't a big fan of my Lavender either. *giggles* But I needed her to act like she was sucking up to Ron for him to feel annoyed with her, so I guessed it served the plot in that way. As for Hermione, I see what you mean. But I was keen not to make them argue much, see, because of the whole Ron/Lavender episode before that. Maybe I'll have her talk more about homework and stuff, though. Hmm. Anyway, thanks for the lovely review, Kumy! =]

Reviewer: ginevra715
Date: 06/16/07 22:50
Chapter: Chapter 1

very, very cute.
i was surprised when it ended because it felt so real.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! :D

Reviewer: mysticmemories
Date: 06/16/07 20:03
Chapter: Chapter 1


Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: R_Ravenclaw
Date: 06/16/07 9:41
Chapter: Chapter 1

I love it! Good job!

Author's Response: :D Thanks!

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Comics the Green Knight works alone to uncover the truth. Scorpius...
Flowers in Winter by silverfirelizard53 6th-7th Years
She was a girl of exceptional talent and a kind heart, but she had been born...
Under the Southern Cross by FloreatCastellum 1st-2nd Years
Rolf Scamander has ventured to a remote archipelago to study a rare and exotic...
Today Will Be Better, I Swear! by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
'I'm going to miss you, Mr Ollivander,' said Luna, approaching the old man.'And...
Honestly by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
Seven months after leaving Hogwarts, James Potter is fighting for the Order...