amazing! I wish u'd written it as one full story tho
You did a good job of keeping Hermione in character while making her a realistic Slytherin.
Oh, this is awesome! I love how it holds almost entirely true to canon...except for Hermione's house. Hermione does make a great Slytherin, I must say. I especially loved the bit where she planned the duel involving the Densaugeo curse. And you're right, Hermione could be any house. Heh.
After reading Sweet Sorrow, I decided to check out some more of your fics. This one immediately caught my attention, and I’m very glad I clicked on it.
Firstly, I think it’s interesting you chose to sort Hermione into Slytherin. It seems like most people would probably re-sort her into Ravenclaw, because of her intelligence and whatnot, but Slytherin is definitely a good choice for her as well. And you did a great job of showing how Hermione could fit in Slytherin. She wasn’t necessarily out-of-character; she was Hermione, but in Slytherin.
I might’ve liked to see a tad more of the Sorting (that is, more of the Sorting Hat’s thoughts), but it’s not really necessary. I like that the Slytherins weren’t accepting of Hermione at first, that she had to sort of earn her place there. Also, I liked that Hermione was still friends with Harry and Ron. It could have been easy to just stick her in Slytherin and eliminate her ties with the other houses, but you really thought about this. That’s what so great about this fic; it’s clear that you gave a lot of thought as to how to make Hermione a believable Slytherin. (And, it was a nice little touch when Hermione mentioned Pansy’s Ravenclaw crushes. -wink-)
The organization of this was good as well. Separating it into the seven Hogwarts years was effective without being choppy. The ‘tips’ to begin each section were good ways to differentiate without just saying ‘Year One, Year Two, etc.,’ but I have to admit I wasn’t a fan of the italicized, underlined, and adorned text. It isn’t bad, but for me, things like that always detract from a fic’s professional look and cleanliness. I think it would have worked just as well to simply italicize the tips, or perhaps put them in parentheses, or something. It’s possible to be creative without being overly so, in my opinion. Even though something like that may seem small…well, it’s the little things, right?
For the most part, the grammar in this was well done, but there were some parts in which I noticed a misplaced or missing comma. Perhaps a quick read-over from a beta would have been beneficial, just to polish everything a bit more.
Overall, though, this was a great insight into Hermione’s character and a very interesting fic. Great job!
This was amazing! I love how Hermione still helps Harry & Ron because it shows how her house doesn't effect the way she is. It shows she is genuinely a good person.
I'm so happy you kept the part about her slapping him. I started cracking up immediatley because I honestly did not expect that.
You really captured what you wanted with this. I love it. :)
The Order of the Ravenclaw House Elves
Author's Response: Thanks, Hannah! I love it, too. *hugs*
well done. I liked the way Hermione handled Draco.
by the way,
"When we loose next year again, at least you now have an excuse, both to Professor Snape and your father–Harry’s Firebolt.”
"When we LOSE next year again, at least you now have an excuse, both to Professor Snape and your father–Harry’s Firebolt.”
Author's Response: Oh, silly typos. I will go back to that later, thanks, hon.
I thought it was pretty good. I actually can't believe I sat down and read this when I should have been writing in NaNoWiriMo -- but it was interesting anyways. I always thought Hermione had a touch of Slytherin in her -- she always was a ambitious as one and had the potential to be as cunning. I liked how you brought that out of her. Also, I like how the Slytherins hated her because she was a Muggleborn, but still managed to be fond of her. I think that it might be different if there was an actual Muggleborn in Slytherin, but for this story you made it work. I liked how to interwoved things into canon -- and that last line with Ron was cute.
But I still have a lot of questions left over that easily could have been answered if you'd added a bit more detail. 1: I have no idea why Draco was at Grimmauld Place, or what time the scene took place (before or after the last battle), or why Draco was there? I'm just really confused. And what happened with the spell that Hermione cast on Draco's wand? Since he didn't use it, it didn't do anything. Wouldn't she use that to prove Draco's innocence? And were you trying to imply that because she had cast the spell, that was why he didn't kill Dumbledore?
2: I have no idea if this was supposed to be Draco/Hermione or Hermione/Ron -- because you sort of hinted at both. That thing isn't really as important, but I was just confused because I expected a bit more during the last part that would show, if put in Slytherin, which person Hermione would end up with.
Besides the many questions I still have, it was good--an interesting look at a Slytherin Hermione. Good job.
Author's Response: Wow, Chante, thank you so much for this! I'm so glad.
Now, to your questions.1. Draco was in Grimmauld Place because he had decided to take Dumbledore's last words of advise.
He had decided to take his mother with him to sanctuary with the Order. There is enough fanon about how he could do this...*wink*And the Incantation Protean Charm-- "were you trying to imply that because she had cast the spell, that was why he didn't kill Dumbledore?"
Yes, exactly, hon. *SPOILER ALERT!* Hermione had threatened she would turn her wand (which would imitate Draco's AK) on herself if Draco performs the AK, you see. Isn't that so conniving and manipulative? Hehe.2. After the Challenge, I moved this to Draco/Hermione. But now it is in Alternate Universe, because after a reread, I too, saw my double hints. *giggles* Shows how Hermione is such a loved creature. For a Slytherin.
Author's Response: Again, thanks so much, Chante! I love in-depth reviews, like Chris's below. *huggles*
Author's Response: Oh Godric, and to take your NaNo time! ^_^ ~Joanna
Author's Response: Oh and when Draco came to GP, this is soon after Dumbledore's death, way before the last battle. See, each 'tip' chronicles a book. 'Don't gloat' is my Book Seven nugget. :)
This was a very well written story and I can truly see that things could have worked out this way. I do think she would have had a bit more trouble gaining trust from Harry and Ron by being a Slytherin...and even of the Order of the Phoenix because of being in that house...but it may have brought more Slytherins to the final battle...and changed the course that was lead by Malfoy. Very interesting view and one I like!
Author's Response: Hi Cwiddy! Thank you! Oh about that. You see, I changed her house, but I didn't change much else. So we'll assume she still helped Harry with the PS because of her nosiness (which stayed on because she still met Harry and Ron in the train first), and so gained their friendship (we'll also assume the incident with Fluffy happened as well, because Hermione followed Malfoy when he issued the challenge, hmm, should have put that in, hehe) ... and so gained membership into the Order, too. It's a bit complicated, no? Whew! Thank you again. I'm glad you liked it! ~Joanna
I really like this. The dialogue is great. I rarely see a Fic that puts Hermione in a different house. I think its quite interesting!
Any ways I can help just let me know!
Author's Response: Thanks hon! For the review and the kind and thoughtful offer! So sorry for the late response! *hugs*
I loved it! I think she makes a very convincing Slytherin, she really would have fit in well there. I really liked how you took pieces from all the books, and you didn't try and change her too much, just added little twists. I expecially loved the 4th year portion, when she makes sure Draco helps her to fix her teeth. Very coniving. And I like how you didn't make it completely AU and disregard everything about her, Harry, and Ron, but just altered it so she's Slytherin-ish.
Author's Response: Thanks, lovely! I loved it all, too. I don't know where my muse came up with all these, hehe. ^-^
tht was the best fanfic i hav read! truly love it... love ur style. this was a really well written story. i actually read it 3 times in a nite cos i liked it so much :)
Author's Response: thank you for saying so, hon! You're sweet. ^_^ I hope you enjoy the rest of my stories, AND the other great finds here at MNFF! *hugs*
I read this a couple fo weeks ago, but I forgot to review. *headdesk* Anyway, I loved it.
~ Jojo aka Twin.
Author's Response: thanks, twin! *headdesk* so late response, hehe. ^_^ anyway, i did thank you by email. i'm just making it public...
Wait.. This should be posted in the Alternate Universe categories not in the Romance Fics.. There is no romance in this....
Author's Response: I agree, Coralie, BUT the pairing is there, sorta gives you a new perspective on the two of them and the possibilities of their relationship. ^_^ It's in the summary, that I want this here as a... plot-bunny trigger.
Hello ate joanna!
I was browsing on your author's page and the list of your stories, and my eyes suddenly got caught by Draco/Hermione. I couldn't let it pass, so I read this.
I love this story! You did a great job on changing Hermione's personality. She IS a Slytherin in this story, indeed. I laughed on that part when Hermione told Draco to use the Densaugeo spell on her to shrink her teeth... *grins*
Author's Response: I hope I didn't change Hermione's personality! I just changed her house, hehe. ^_^ But I get your meaning, A.J, thank you so much! And yeah, I loved that part as well! I can't believe I invented that! I can't believe how it fit Hermione either! Thanks again, sis!
Great story; you could really make a longer story with this. It would be wonderful. It's ver ycreative.
i liked how you made hermione a slytherin. do you have any interest in making a sequel (maybe) to it as a romance fanfic?
I loved this! it was so original and creative; i would've never thought to place Hermione in Slytherin. Really well done, I love how you just wrote segments of the six years. You're a great writer; nice job =]
Author's Response: Hi Tianna! So sorry for the late reply. I hope you still read this. I loved your sweet words, although I still have a long way to go to be 'great'! ^_^
This is really good!! I think you should write a longer fic based on this, you know starting at the sorting cerimony and following Hermione through life as a Slytherin and mabey you could explain in it why this ones in the Hemione/Draco catergory....
One question though, why is it rated 6th-7th years???
Author's Response: Hi Julie, thank you! As for fleshing this story out, I don't know for sure. Let's see if inspiration hits me. Andrea (the challenge mod) asked me to up the rating because of Draco's language. ^_^
thia was really good, it could have been a great story, but its a great one-shot. You are a great writer
Author's Response: Why, thank you for that, Rose! You'll find there are many writers here on MNFF who surpasses me a lot! ^_^
Very interesting. I don't know how to describe what you did, but you did it wonderfully. I love how you incorporated key points in the books, showing that they still happened--but perhaps for a lsightly different reason--even though Hermione. I also find it interesting what she said to the Sorting Hat in the begininning, about wanting to be where she would fit in best. Dumbeldore said that it is our choices that decide who we are, and we know Harry is only in Gryffindor because he asked--what would happen to the other characters if the Sorting wasn't based on choices? Ooops, sorry about that. Anyway, I really, really liked this fic! A+!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Bethany! *squeals over the A+* And that's an astute observation. In this fic, Hermione also decided: to like and be devoted to her rightful House, regardless of what she heard on the train. This in itself is rather Gryffindor/Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw! She is so complex! ^_^