Author's Response: Thanks. 'Sad' would be my forte in writing. ~Faith
Wow that was so beautiful. The ending was my favorite part. It was so full of emotion. Amazing Job.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it. A lot of people have told me that their faveorite part is the ending, too. I think the ending of a poem should be the most powerful part of the piece. Thank you. ~Faith
it is beautiful, it made me cry.
Nothingís wrong, heís faking,
Your father has always been such a prankster,
Then why is Mother panicking?
She holds you tighter; Fatherís voice grows faster.
That's so sad; this is where i started to tear up. well, great story and I'm looking forward to read more of your stories/poems
Author's Response: You cried? Really? Yay!! I can make people cry with poetry! That's what I've always wanted to do with poems. I have two other poems if you're interested. ~Servatis a pereculum. Servatis a maleficum.
The ending line was excellent, first off. Haunted by your motherís sweet lullaby. It ends the poem on an eerie, bittersweet note.
What would've been a really nice addition to the poem (I think) was if you added some of Lily's lullaby in italics in between the first few stanzas before she died. Initially I had thought that this poem was Lily's lullaby, so I was a bit confused. Another line I liked was : Surrender to your motherís loving song. Great job on this piece. ^_~
Author's Response: THe last line was supposed to be eerie, that was my intention. I'm glad that's how it came out. The idea of Lily's lullaby, I think that's really good. I should try that. I'll give it a shot.Thank you, I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for the suggestion. ~Servatis a pereculum. Servatis a maleficum.
Wonderful but SOO sad!
Author's Response: I'm glad you think it's wonderful. The point was to make it sad, and touch people. I'm very prone to sad and depressing things. It's a weakness. I have a suicide fic up and am writing more with that topic. ~Servatis a pereculum. Servatis a maleficum.
that is really sad! omg i nearly cried!
Author's Response: I love when I touch people like that, and I also love crying to poems myself. Sorry for almost making you cry, though. ~Servatis a pereculum. Servatis a maleficum.
... This was really powerful... It was SO sad! You're better have written lots more fan-fics cause I am SO checking out your profile! Anyway.... Great job!
Author's Response: I have three more fanfics if you want to check them out. I'm also in the process of makng two more. Annoying plot bunnies won't leave me alone. I'm glad you liked this! Thank you! ~Servatis a pereculum. Servatis a maleficum.