Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 01/02/10 1:43
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

Wow, the emotions in this story are so poignant and powerful, only to set up Hermione for that big a fall. It just seems that Lucius's cavalier treatment of both Hermione's concerns and his wife's illness are in character, and Hermione's more nurturing nature, which led her to him in the first place, was in character as well.

That's one of the great challenges of rairpairs is keeping the character intact as well as writing a terrific and well-structured story. I do feel that this story would have benefited from a little extra length to lend a bit more plausibility to Hermione and Lucius's expedited fall into such a relationship, but all in all, it's still beautiful the way it is.

Well, that's all from me, so good day to you and happy writing.

~Jess, Ravenclaw House

Reviewer: Dory_the_Fishie
Date: 02/23/08 13:54
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

Hmph, Lucius had to be a jerk, didn’t he? I suppose so.

What a terrible way for Hermione to find out about Narcissa. But it served to shatter her illusion about Lucius. It’s like she’s in this lovely little world where Lucius is so fabulous and all she wants is to be with him, and then bam. The universe is all, “Just kidding, his wife’s alive and he is, after all, lame.” And I don’t even like Lucius that much, but I was so in that world with Hermione. They made for a delicious pairing, you know.

I’m glad Hermione is so “I’ll show him.” She’s strong, and that’s why I like her. She’s not just going to sit back and let it go and satisfy him. You characterize Hermione very well, I think. He didn’t deserve either of them at all. … He had found another woman.
Snap. It’s so strange to think of Hermione as the ‘other woman.’ But…it’s true, here. Not that she knew it. But still.

Gah, I hate how Lucius is just like…he doesn’t really care about Hermione. It was all just physical. That what he says, anyway. But it sort of makes me wonder if he’s just saying that, if he really does care about Hermione. Hermione never did take her eyes off him, and he never looked back. It’s things like this that I love about your characterization. Lucius wouldn’t look back, and that says a lot about his character. And go Hermione for kicking him out. She rocks. -wink-

Bah, I wish there were more of this, because the relationship you created between Hermione and Lucius, though brief, was delectable to read. I love your writing loads, dear. Lovely, lovely fic.

Reviewer: holleb
Date: 12/23/07 22:51
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

This was very well-written...Hermione and Lucius!!!! Who would have thought!!! However, I really wish you would have continued this as I feel there is so much more you could have said and made happen!!

Reviewer: Dory_the_Fishie
Date: 11/25/07 19:42
Chapter: Her Heart is Racing

Guh! What an amazing chapter. I am really starting to like this Hermione/Lucius pairing…

First off, how cute that Lucius lures Hermione to his house with books. -giggles- It’s totally perfect, and so is her dislike of his treatment of the house elves. And I love how he sort of teases her, you know? It’s so Hermione to be a bit flustered about that, but then you also have her as a very confident person, and I love it because you’ve just characterized her so well.

Ahhh! I wasn’t actually expecting Lucius to be quite so forward. -cough- But it was awesome all the same. Hermione could feel her body quivering with a forbidden excitement, but finally her reason overcame her desire and she pulled her neck away from him. Of course Hermione keeps her cool. I love that she has to fight desire with reason, it’s exactly what she would feel she has to do – she’s trying to prove to herself that logic trumps passion. Nice try, Hermione, but no…

Lol about trying to get out of the house without dropping the books. I feel like that’s something any girl would do, you know? Try to maintain composure when the guy is watching. And oh man, with Lucius’s eye on me, I dunno if I could manage as well Hermione does. I like that he doesn’t re-enter the house, just stays out in the garden. That just seems very Lucius to me, simply watching her retreat. Oh, and I liked the brief mention of Narcissa; that added a great element of uncomfortable-ness, no? It helps emphasize how very different Hermione and Lucius really are, how they’re at completely different points in their lives. I love it.

Suddenly his lips were crashing down on hers as she backed into the door, closing it with a tiny click. Squee! Guh, I love this scene. It’s so perfect. And there’s something rather awesome about them being in a bookshop. Dunno why, there just is. Her mind racing, desire coursing through her veins, she stopped thinking. She stopped trying to understand. She simply felt. Yay, go Hermione! I’m enjoying this fic quite a lot, I must say. Your writing is, as I keep saying, lovely. I love this little fic. -squish-

Reviewer: Dory_the_Fishie
Date: 11/25/07 19:27
Chapter: Where They Rise and Hide

-grin- This is awesome, obviously. I have to admit I’ve never been overly fond of Hermione like so many people are, just like I’ve never had any special liking for the Malfoys. But, what an interesting pairing this is, and of course I knew that since you had written it, it must be lovely. And it is.

I love that you gave Hermione the profession of bookshop owner, and that Lucius looks down on that. It’s so perfect. I thought you kept the two of them wonderfully in character. Hermione was the grown-up version of herself, with a humble job and a love for books, and Lucius was troubled and proud and a Malfoy, basically. I love how he practically accuses her of not possibly making enough money with her job. I can actually sense a tension between them, and not just one of ‘we should be/are enemies.’ You know what I mean. -wink-

I’m glad you didn’t have Lucius immediately open up and start gushing about his feelings – that would have been painful to read. A lot of authors probably would have rushed into that. But, you kept him in character while still allowing something to pass between him and Hermione. I love it. For me, the ending of this chapter is almost…Mr. Darcy-like, and Mr. Darcy is definitely not a character I compare to often. But the way Lucius states that the storm is finished and just leaves…I dunno, it felt a bit like Darcy to me, which is naturally lovely.

I thought it was a tad cliché of Hermione to say that life is about learning to dance in the rain. That didn’t seem like something she would say, and perhaps especially not to Lucius. But I love how he calls her by her first name when he leaves.

Okay, off to read the next chapter!

Reviewer: Metropolitan
Date: 09/02/07 17:12
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

I liked the "rise and fall" of the relationship. Hermione gave it to him all right!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! And she sure did - not one to be messed with!

Reviewer: allistrix
Date: 08/15/07 1:37
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

AHHH lucius.. i love him.

this story was greatttttt.. loved the ending - and the pairing. and the story was of reasonable length, so yes that was good.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Yes, the pairing certainly is an interesting one!

Reviewer: DracosBaby_232
Date: 07/05/07 9:43
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

Well, well. Lucius is still a pig after all. Shame about the ending but a good story.

Author's Response: Yes, we all knew he'd have to be in the end. I'm pleased to hear you enjoyed the story, but what was it that you disliked about the ending?

Reviewer: DracosBaby_232
Date: 07/05/07 9:40
Chapter: Her Heart is Racing

Wow.......................... I'm stunned.

Author's Response: I'm pleased to hear it's struck a chord with you!

Reviewer: DracosBaby_232
Date: 07/05/07 9:36
Chapter: Where They Rise and Hide

Since when does Lucius Malfoy call her Hermione?!?!?! Interesting story, never thought I'd see a pair like this!!!!

Author's Response: Well, he begins with a more formal address, but I felt we had to get past that stage in order for a relationship to develop. Yes, it's a very different sort of pairing I tried out, and I'm glad you like the story so far!

Reviewer: amzing
Date: 07/02/07 9:36
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

awww*sniffles and blows nose*.....how sad...i liked them 2gether..oh well ..any way fab story hun...keep it up

Author's Response: Thank you very much! It is certainly an intriguing pairing! Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: ms weasley
Date: 06/26/07 17:31
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

Okay. Pretty much... WOW. Probably not the most intelligent way to start this review, but it does sum up how I feel about it. You know, honestly, Chapter One is still my favourite of the three, but this ending is so... I want to say it in one word, but I actually can't. It's beautiful, because of your language and the flow of the sentences. It's dark and dramatic and almost, I don't know, haunting that it should end with such a bang (though I suppose it did start with one... and I just read that again, and no, it was not a dirty pun). All the fire that has been in their relationship so far is evident in their argument, and there’s passion and also hurt, and it just works so very well.

Just as she watched him disappear down the street, the distant sound of thunder met her ears. It seemed there was another storm coming.

This is definitely my favourite line in the entire fic, because I think the parallel and the recurring symbolism is simply gorgeous. It’s a simply wonderful concept that you have going with this, and I actually love that you didn’t overstretch it – you stuck to a fixed amount of chapters. A lot of authors make the mistake of thinking that producing a lot of chapters amounts to a good fic, where in actual fact, less is more. Just out of interest, is the new storm a metaphor for something else that could possibly happen? Did you mean for it to hint at something further, or was it just tying it back to the start?

Right, well, whilst I’m doing some general commenting, I’m going to give you the only piece of proper concrit that I have on this fic -- I hope you don’t mind. The only thing I would have like to have seen more of was building Lucius and Hermione’s relationship. I mean, I do like that it was an almost spontaneous thing, but I do like to see sexual tension built. I think it’s nice to see things develop. Hee. But really, that’s just personal preference. It actually does work the way you’ve written it – it’s very fast paced, and I like that.

Okay. Other plot details. I loved the concept of Luna as a Healer, for starters. I think that was definitely original, and yet believable. I’ve read a lot of Luna-centric stories in which she has taken over from her father as editor of the Quibbler, which is a nice idea, but I’ve now read it so many times that I find it rather dull. And it’s nice to see Luna have such a good job – she’s nice enough to be suited to that sort of career, and after all, she is a Ravenclaw. I like Lucius’ excuse to invite Hermione around; I found it very plausible that he would use something like that to his advantage. Hermione’s reaction to Lucius’ house-elf was also a nice touch which added to your strong characterisation here.

Okay, onto more particulars:

And so it came to be that Hermione Granger was walking along a smart street just twenty-five minutes later, observing the very tasteful buildings that lined it, each with its own small garden at the front. She found it a little odd that each one seemed to look almost identical, and although she had to admit it looked very elegant, something about the restrained atmosphere made her feel very self-conscious.

Probably my favourite paragraph in Chapter Two, because I feel you’ve really entered into Hermione’s character and emotions here. Our surroundings really do affect our perception and how we feel, and you’ve used this to your advantage. The ‘And so it came to be…’ really appeals to me, possibly because it’s a lovely Tolkein-esque way of writing, and it sounds so quaint and yet lovely at the same time. (That was a compliment, by the way.) The ‘restrained atmosphere’ seems to suit Lucius down to the ground, and when I was reading it I really got a feel for Hermione’s surroundings, and how almost out-of-her-depth she felt. *bows to teh Sarah, Queen of Making Kate Sigh Wistfully*

Upon his return, he set them down on the table and leant over her seat, his face dangerously close to hers. Hermione felt the gentle heat of his breath in her ear as he murmured, “Needing to take control, I see…fascinating.”

Excellent! I love the sexual tension and the sense of fascination that Lucius has for Hermione. I can actually see why he would find her intriguing – after all, she is easily on his level intellectually, and something of a challenge. You make the pairing very believable. What I will say is, however, your plotline works all the better for having their relationship end. After all, all the passion and the fire their relationship is based on comes from their challenging one another, and their… arguing, almost. And whilst that relationship is exciting and passionate, sooner or later it is going to implode and come crashing down around them.

She stopped trying to understand. She simply felt.

Another reason why Lucius/Hermione isn’t solid enough to ultimately overcome their problems – they don’t have a good enough understanding of their feelings for one another and so can’t really work through everything. However, I do think this is a gorgeous ending to the chapter – you really nail your last lines, my dear. I think it’s natural for someone like Hermione, who always has to understand and know things, to be curious about something that she can’t possibly comprehend. Perhaps that’s what attracts her to Lucius?

Looking at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror, she knew she couldn’t let him win like this.

Oooh. Perfect. Because isn’t that what their relationship really is? A power struggle? They’re both naturally competitive people.

And so he turned away from her with a swish of his cloak, opened the door and stepped through it into the cold evening. Hermione never did take her eyes off him, and he never looked back.

And this line just about made me die. It’ll be stuck in my memory for a long time, because it’s just so heavy with meaning and anger and desire, and again you can see the strength of your closing lines, Sarah.

I’m so glad that you nudged me in the direction of this, because it really is a fantastic piece of writing. I’m not sure that this storyline would have worked half as well as it did if you hadn’t constructed it so well. There are lines that I’m completely in love with. Kudos to you, dearest, and also congratulations for finishing it!

Author's Response: Firstly, Sarah should let Kate know that she almost died when reading this review. In a good way, my dear, naturally. <3 I am literally thrilled out of my mind that you liked this story, because I have always had a soft spot for it myself. I loved writing it because of all the sexual tension...not that I'm at all dirty or anything. The last line...a lot of people have said they liked that, and I have to say it turned out really nicely for something I hadn't even really planned! It doesn't really symbolise anything, although that's an interesting idea...but yes, all that was meant by it was linking the story into a full circle. And now about the building of the rel;ationship - you know, I would almost like to have done more with it too, but originally it was just going to be a one-shot, and after I realised that I needed more chapters, I wasn't in a hurry to lengthen it even more. However, when I came back to it to post it [because this was written at least 8 months ago] I did want to add more, but I couldn't really get into the story a much as before, so I didn't feel comfortable with writing parts that could just end up jarring with the rest. /long run-on sentences Luna as a Healer - well, I've always thought she'd really suit it, and I needed someone who'd be likely to want a book, but wouldn't tie Hermione back to the past too much [like on of the Weasleys]. I'm glad you mentioned hat paragraph in Ch2, because boy, did it take me long to write. It couldn't seem to sit right with me for ages. So I am SO happy to hear that it was oneof your favourite bits! I had to try to convey Hermione's uncertainty and how much Lucius could dominate their relationship.Oh, and I love that you think I'm Tokein-esque...more praise than I deserve, I daresay. Your feelings on the realtionship are exactly what I thought when I was challenged to write this - Lucius/Hermione can never work for a long time, as it's all built on experimenting with the unfamilar, which eventually has to lose it's appeal. Yes, Hermione is definitely with Lucius because he'ssuch a complex sort of person, and nothing like anybody she's known before. As for Hermione's determination - yes, she doesn't like being fooled, and she certainly won't let him walk away thinking he got her. When he leaves, it's all about the struggle between their willpowers, because neither one wants to show any sign of weakness. I can't believe how much you really understand of the ideas behind my writing, seriously! It's amazing. Thank you ever so much for all your wonderful compliments, and for leaving me such a wonderful review! Whee!

Reviewer: Vampire Hunter Blade
Date: 06/26/07 11:19
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

Tell him Hermione! I loved the story! Interesting pairing.

Author's Response: Yay, thanks! And yes, I enjoyed exploring the pairing!

Reviewer: heartthestrokes11
Date: 06/13/07 16:17
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

This is really good writing. I love the parallel in the beginning and end. Its also a unique plot. props to you

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Yes, I thought I'd work the beginning and end like that to show the running theme of learning to bear difficulties. Thanks for your review!

Reviewer: sirius situation
Date: 06/13/07 11:26
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

Great ending...the story overall shows that Hermione is human like everyone else, and as such is prone to misjudgements like us all.

I'll make a point of looking for other work that you do...I enjoy your writing style!

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, that was a big element of Hermione's character in this story - that she can make mistakes, sometimes because she is too ready to believe the best in people. Thank you very much, and please do! I hope you like the others. :)

Reviewer: mock_turtle
Date: 06/09/07 22:05
Chapter: In His Eyes and On His Face

I'm glad you ended it this way, and not just because i personally dislike the pairing. I think it is quite realistic and in-character. for me to believe the romance, though, I need to be convinced a little bit more.

Author's Response: It was always my intention to end the realationship within the story. Hermione and Lucius have the potential of a fiery relationship, but they don't fit in the long run. I'm sorry you weren't properly convinced, but thank you for expressing your opinion and for all of your reviews.

Reviewer: mock_turtle
Date: 06/09/07 22:02
Chapter: Her Heart is Racing

I also disagree with your Lucius, who likes opinionate women. I was under the impression that the only opinion Lucius liked was his own, and the only one who could override that was the dark lord. I know this is AU, but I just felt I had to mention it.

Author's Response: My thinking is that Lucius is drawn to Hermione because she does dare contest him, and that's a refreshing change. Plus, he's coming on to her anyway!

Reviewer: mock_turtle
Date: 06/09/07 21:59
Chapter: Where They Rise and Hide

I don't think that hermione really would have imparted those words of wisdom at the end.

your story brought to mind another short story I read for my Lit class recently--The Storm by Kate Chopin. of course in that story all the romance takes place during the storm and it has a message of feminine liberation (a good story!) yours still reminded me of that.

Author's Response: I'd like to think of Hermione as a person who has learnt a lot from life, which is why it felt right to have her saying that. But you can disagree, of course. Interesting, about the Kate Chopin story! I'll keep an eye out for it!

Reviewer: sirius situation
Date: 06/02/07 23:18
Chapter: Her Heart is Racing

The side of me that is 100% true to the books doesn't like this story at all. How could proud SPEW creator Hermione and Lucius "I-hate-muggles-and-mudbloods" Malfoy bear to look at each other, let alone develop feelings for one another?

BUT the side of me that loves a great, well-written story, and loves unusual HP pairings, ABSOLUTELY loves this story.

When I read the first chapter, I hoped there would be more so I was pleasantly surprised to find chapter 2 today. Please keep writing this story...I can't wait to see how it all pans out!

Author's Response: I'm pleased to hear that you like the story, even with the unlikeliness of the pairing. I'm feeling through this story that Hermione is very lonely, and Lucius is really just after one thing - pardon the cliche. Anyway, it's great that you like my style of writing, and I'm planning to post the final chapter very soon! Thanks for your review!

Reviewer: lily_evans34
Date: 06/02/07 20:21
Chapter: Her Heart is Racing

Ooooh, hot!!! I like!!! And yes, I'll probably come back to SPEW this sooner or later, but as I'm tired and half asleep, the product of doing so now would be a bit... o.O

Ahem. GOOD JOB. I love how you write this unusual pairing in a fast-paced yet believable way. Now you must hurry up and write Chapter 3 like winter! Will there be more sexual frustration? One can only hope.

Author's Response: LOL. I can't pretend to not love writing teh hotness...*shifty eyes* And ooh, a possible SPEW review? Yay!! Thank you for your lovely comments, my dear, and don't worry! I should have Chapter 3 up in about a week. :D

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