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Reviews For Healing the Brit

Name: beautyfades (Signed) · Date: 09/21/07 23:54 · For: Chapter 1
Hmm... I want to keep reading to see if this improves at all, like some stories do, but right now your writing and descriptions seem rushed and therefore very elementary since they also lack original dialouge and descriptions.

Hopefully, it was just the "Chapter One Illness" that most new or fairly new writers suffer from and it will pass in these later chapters. I'm off to check it! :)

*Beauty Fades

Name: beautyfades (Signed) · Date: 09/21/07 23:49 · For: Chapter 1
Hmm... I want to keep reading to see if this improves at all, like some stories do, but right now your writing and descriptions seem rushed and therefore very elementary since they also lack original dialouge and descriptions.

Hopefully, it was just the "Chapter One Illness" that most new or fairly new writers suffer from and it will pass in these later chapters. I'm off to check it! :)

*Beauty Fades

Name: PrincessGinerva (Signed) · Date: 09/21/07 22:03 · For: Chapter 7
omg continue, and yes, i do realize i sound like a valley girl

Name: I_LUV_MOONY (Signed) · Date: 09/21/07 20:37 · For: Chapter 7
A bit short, but still made me almost cry all the same. I say 'almost' because I expected this, but I'm good at foreshadowing, so don't think you were too obvious (sorry about the run-on).

This chapter felt short. I think you could have expanded on Roger's situation a bit more. I liked the beginning, though. I was lured into a false sense of security by your description of the surrounding area. Very beautiful, by the way.

His little nickname for her was cute. I hope it sticks throughout the story.

Alright, it's nitpick time:

Bill buried his face in his pill and let his tears fall harder.

'Pill' should be 'pillow.'

Okay, so all-in-all, not your best chapter, but I trust that things will make a turn-around. And everyone has bad days, anyway. ( I myself have had a story rejected three times. Still hasn't gotten on yet. :D) So don't worry and gear up for the next chapter. Best wishes! :D

Name: Link Potter (Signed) · Date: 09/21/07 13:22 · For: Chapter 7
But-but-but noooooo!!

Author's Response: It was nessesary. I didn't want to do it either, but it was nessesary. That's the part I hate about being an author.

Name: Link Potter (Signed) · Date: 09/21/07 13:15 · For: Chapter 1
good start :) keep up the good work

(Yes i realize there are already six more chapters but I only read this one)

Name: CelticWitch (Anonymous) · Date: 09/13/07 13:21 · For: Chapter 6
Oh, gosh, I need the next chapter.

Name: CelticWitch (Anonymous) · Date: 09/13/07 13:06 · For: Chapter 5
I really like this story, the fact that it's set in the Forties is just so...shall I say, keen? And the french is a really nice touch, it makes it seem more real and less like a fanfic. Good work.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm flattered.

Name: I_LUV_MOONY (Signed) · Date: 08/13/07 17:37 · For: Chapter 6
This is my favorite chapter of them all! One tiny little nitpick (I hate this part)
Bill managed to pay the bill with his francs, and Fleur blushed, insisting that she should, but instead her ushered her down the stairs, his hand on the small of her back, trying very hard not to let it slip down further. Her ushered her? It should be he ushered her.

Now that that's over I can say how much I loved the kiss! It wasn't too graphic, but you still had the basic idea of how intense it was. A masterpiece!
And now for the personal bit of the review...
You're in band, too? I'm on the color guard, and we just got done with band camp, too. What instrument do you play? And also, the sequel of my fic is up! Will you go check it out as a favor to your greatest reviewer? *nudge nudge, wink wink* :D

Author's Response: Yeah! BAND GEEKS, DUDE, WE SHOULD...okay, no that would never work. I play alto and baritone saxophones, alto while I'm marching (I can't march with the bari, I'm only five foot one.) I'll check out your new fic when I see it up. Thanks for the nitpick! Y'know, you should probably beta me...I need to get around to joining the forums...

Name: In_Denial_9 (Signed) · Date: 08/05/07 23:14 · For: Chapter 5
Well, I like it. It can be a bit corny at parts, but hey, who doesn't like corny stories? I like the whole idea of the story. It's really unique. Update soon!!!

Author's Response: Alright! Thanks for the review! Next chappie's in the queue! (Whoa, that, like, totally rhymed! I should go out for poetry)

Name: I_LUV_MOONY (Signed) · Date: 07/20/07 15:02 · For: Chapter 5
Yay for filler chapters!
She flounced off, probably grinning like a Cheshire cat, and left.

“I told you!” Roger sang out, definitely grinning like a Cheshire cat.
Tee hee, I love the Cheshire Cat quip.

One quick little missing word, and then I'll tell you how much I love it:
Oh thank you, my friend! But don’t worry; I can care of myself, Iolanthe. And he is so handsome! Put the word 'take' in front of care.

This chapter was gold. I could really hear Fleur and Iolanthe's French accents. And you had great details. Too bad I have to wait until after Deathly Hallows for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Aaaw, I know. The next chapter is finished, but I'm not sure, as I can't check right this moment...but I think it. Thanks for being my greatest reviewer (again!) *hugglez*

Name: I_LUV_MOONY (Signed) · Date: 07/14/07 13:03 · For: Chapter 4
Another good chapter! Felt a little short, though. You got all of the Weasleys personalities just right. Fred and George are too funny: "Dad, be a man! Don't go crazy over just a girl!" Ha ha, that's hilarious. One little grammatical error:
“Okay Mum! Hey, everybody, we got letter from Bill!” Ronald shouted up the stairs. Here, you could either make the word 'letter' plural, or put an 'a' before 'letter'.
Great job, and I see that the next chapter is in the queue. Can't wait! :D

Author's Response: Alright, thanks for being my greatest reviewer! I'll go fix the letter thing...must've missed it in my preview edit...anyways, thanks!

Name: sexiangel0320 (Signed) · Date: 06/30/07 18:09 · For: Chapter 3
when you write Author's notes make sure you put a space after it

Name: I_LUV_MOONY (Signed) · Date: 06/27/07 11:51 · For: Chapter 3
First off: *first review dance*

Second: Yeah, this chapter was a little cheesy. Not your best, but still pretty good.

Third: Update soon! I added the last chapter to my story last week so it should be up soon. Check it out in a few days or so. :D

Author's Response: Alright! Good! This one was cheestastic, the whole story sort of is, but that's the joy of Bill/Fleur, right? Yay! I can't wait to read it! Th e latest chapter that I read improved so much, I was stunned!

Name: I_LUV_MOONY (Signed) · Date: 06/17/07 19:42 · For: Chapter 2
Another nice chapter! However, I didn't think that Fleur would be one to smoke. *adopts Fleur-like quality* In order to be beautiful, you must be so inside and out. Zat includes ze lungs, and smoking would make zem black instead of pink! *loses Felru-like quality* lol And also, British people use quills and parchment, not pencils and paper, so that's probably what Bill would ask for. Although, I don't know about the French. Still a nice chapter, and I don't think you overdid it with the French accent. :D


Author's Response: Yeah, I see your point, but this is the forties, everybody smokes. I went to France on holiday, and they smoke anyways. (To be perfectly honest, people can't stop here in my town), and another thing, in my little universe, Bill is a Muggle. They all are. I don't think anybody has gotten that yet. And who says that British people can't use pencils and paper?! I use them all the time!

Name: I_LUV_MOONY (Signed) · Date: 06/17/07 19:31 · For: Chapter 1
Hey, I like it, and I don't know why other people don't. It was cool how you had Bill tell Fred and George to be nice to 'Ginny.' And that last bit was a little cliched, but what can you do? :D


Author's Response: It's so hard sometimes..yes, I know. Nessecary evil, cliches. Like Michael Jackson, hate him, but love "Beat It"

Name: glitterngold (Signed) · Date: 06/10/07 3:04 · For: Chapter 2
good so far, keep updating

Name: iceboy814 (Signed) · Date: 06/03/07 11:23 · For: Chapter 1
excellant story so far but with one suggestion, have a part of the story also from the familys (weasly) point of view and have some magic in it

Author's Response: Adding magic is something I'm not so sure of, but thanks for family POV suggestion! I ran into a writer's block after writing chap. 3 so thanks for the idea! Love, Crows

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