Wow. That's different. I can't imagine how confusing and frustrating that would be.
Author's Response: lol, thanks for your review.
Evie…wow. I’ve not yet read a Harry!Gauntlet so I wasn’t too sure of what to expect for this one, but I’m really glad I read this. This story is pretty unusual as it combines both strength and spirits and how the two compliment one another – like Anna, I really enjoyed the emphasis on family here.
I’m curious to find out more about what has happened to Harry before this story, like the backstory and everything. I was under the impression, right from the beginning, that Harry has had a rough time. I love your descriptions of his appearance and his mood to emphasise this change, which unfortunately doesn’t seem to be for the better.
My hand, a pale spider in the dim light, reaches out for the icy metal handle.
I love all your imagery in this story but this really caught my eye. It’s an unusual comparison but works pretty well – I’m starting to get the impression of Harry as being quite intuitive from experience and having been through a hard time. This was also emphasised when I read this:
If the Ministry finds me… I have a thousand Galleon price on my head…
…whoah. What happened? This makes me really curious as to why the Ministry wants to find HARRY? In canon we know him to be the hero, so I’d really like to find out what’s behind this.
Your descriptions of Harry near the start, of not having shaved, being quite dirty, messy and unkempt made me draw comparisons to Sirius. This is a really interesting story and I’d love to find out more if you choose to continue it…
One of the most original things about this story is your introduction of the ‘little girl’ who helps Harry throughout the quest. I love her character, she’s quite playful, mysterious and feisty all at once, kind of reminding me of what we know of a schoolgirl Lily. Even though she does not tell Harry much to start with I like how she still helps him in her own way and gives him support. I think I guessed her identity just before Harry did, though looking back I like how you’ve left little clues!
Open your letter, then! Your daddy spent ages writing that when you were little; I watched him!
I love this sentence, and the whole concept of James writing Harry a letter. This story has a continual sense of past/future/what could have been, if you get me, which is totally amazing. I love the idea of one of his parents watching over him at all times, that’s really sweet. I also like how you incorporate this idea into the mirror room, where Harry uses the fact that the James in the wall doesn’t know about this letter to prove to himself that he is not talking to his ‘real’ family. That’s pretty clever. :)
However, my one criticism about that scene is that all the characters seem a little too over-sugared. - odd way of putting it, I know… I especially think that the part where Lily says , baby, I’ve missed you! You’ve no idea!” sounds a bit off and a little out of character. I’ve always picture Lily to be quite a loving mother, but I don’t think she would ever over-act this role or smother her child like it seems so here. Then again I guess this sort of thing could be used in this scene to again, accentuate the fact that all of this isn’t real.
Overall, lovely. I really like your ideas in this story, they’re all pretty original and work well with the plot. The underlying theme of this is truly beautiful and I’m glad it all seems to work out for Harry in the end. Again, the addition of the little girl is awesome. :D
Good luck in the Gauntlet, and congrats on being an early finisher! *huggles*
Author's Response: **Huggles Suzie** Don't worry, they were meant to be sugary. ;) Thank you so much for all your lovely compliments and for taking the time to read this and write this amazing review! **Huggles again** ~Evie
I love this too. Interesting how you worked your prompts. And I love how you wrote it in his POV. I would have never thought to write mine like that.
Author's Response: Lol, thanks! **Is happy** ~Evie
Nice job, Evie! I really liked this take on the Gauntlet. Interesting sub-plot on the family that could have been, I liked how you fit that in there. I also thought it was funny how Harry was able to just ask the key to come down, and it came. How cleverly simple. ;) Great fic, good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!! It's so nice that we all support each other like this!! ~Evie
I love how you worked in Harry's might have been sister. That was a very cool touch. It was also great having him recieve that letter from his dad. We all wish for encouraging words from those we have lost. It was nice having Harry actually be able to receive some of them. Great job, and good luck with the Challenge. Cyns
Author's Response: aw, thanks!! :D ~Evie
Wow. This was great- I love your interpretation of the cover and of what's to come. I too hope to see the Department of Mysteries again; I'd rather it be that than Gringotts. This is really impressive- I don't know that I could encompass the most anticipated parts of Deathly Hallows in a few pages, and so well. And usually I don't like stories told in first person, present tense, but if they're all like this, I wouldn't mind!Awesome job!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the lovely review - I'd love it if all reviews were like this! The interpretation of the cover of DH came when I was stuck on a prompt and, by chance, it was on the tv. So, yeah, it all came to me. ;) ~Evie