My, Joanna, I just didn't know what to expect when I picked this story to read. I'm always rather skeptical when I read James/Lily and I often wonder if it's the same person with various accounts. But this was different and so much more than I could have hoped for in a simple click. It was quite refreshing. First off, James and Lily just veered in a completely different direction than I am used to and I appreciated it so much. I became immersed in it and absorbed it. Their characterization was fantastic!
Honestly, it was amazingly witty and pleasing. I truly enjoyed seeing them act differently, more human, instead of some love sick puppies with such clichť mannerisms.
I like how you started out. =) Very clever and I always, always enjoy references. It was also humorous and it flared my interest in finding out what was to happen. Normally, I'm also not a fan of inner-monologue but that, too, was adorable! Hehe. Lily is just a character, you could say. XD She's so unintentionally hysterical.
I think what threw me off and made me think that in the beginning that there was more than just Lily and James was the “Hi Prongs.” I haven't often seen Lily addressing James as that so I was a little baffled. I think it's fine but I also think that there could have been a tag, you know, to not confuse people like me. =D I also found it interesting how they called each other Evans and Potter. It was slightly endearing. Heh.
I was also wondering about this part:
“Let’s get inside, it’s getting too chill.”
I have never heard someone say 'chill' in that context. So I was just curious, as perhaps it might be something I've never known about.
I loved the interaction in the first part. So believable and so delicious, yes, delicious. The hearts to signify a new setting also add to it. =D
“I’m just so worried.”
“Mothers are experts in that, I heard.”
*giggle* Ahaha. You have such a gift for awesome dialog.
Aw, that is definitely something Albus would say!
This whole fic was just so lovely.
These were my favourite parts:
“Yeah, Lily! Little Potter, the whipper of Voldemort’s ass!”
I can’t wait for my baby to kick that Voldemort’s misanthropic ass.
Oh, dear, thank you for such an enthralling and enticing read. XD I can truly say this was incredibly enjoyable.
This was simply beatifuly written! And you are going to my fav authors!! :)
-waves to Joanna- Hello, dear, and Iím so sorry Iím late with this buddy review. I hope you can find it in your lovely heart to forgive me?
Anyway. I quite enjoyed this piece! James/Lily has always been a favorite pairing of mine, but oftentimes I have trouble finding a good James/Lily fic. How glad I am that I found one on your authorís page. I think you understand James and Lily quite well; nothing felt too forced Ė it was all nicely put together and justÖfelt right, I suppose. If that makes sense.
Normally Iím not a fan of the first person for fics (donít know why, itís just one of those things with me), but I actually thought it was a nice touch here. I donít know that you could have conveyed the same emotions and carried out the fic as effectively if you hadnít used first person, especially from Lilyís point of view. I was able to connect with Lily and you really let us get inside her head.
Which brings me to characterization. I liked the characterization of Lily very much. I thought you did a good job with a character we donít know a whole lot about and donít get to see too often in canon. I think it can be difficult to write Lily, especially because of the amount of fics with her, but you were able really characterize well. James was also great, I thought. He and Lily really felt like a couple who were in love; sometimes I feel that James/Lily fics donít convey their relationship realistically or well enough. Youíve shown that even though they had their fair share of stress (what with Voldemort wanting their kid and all), they were still in love and all that happy stuff. Great job there.
When I first read this, I wasnít sure how I felt about the dialogue. You donít have a lot of attribution going on, butÖI actually like it. It isnít really confusing because you donít really have a lot of people talking at once, and it allows for things to flow a bit more smoothly. Your style is unique without being confusing, I think, and I like that.
So overall, lovely job with this! Iím always very happy when I find a good James/Lily fic, and Iím always especially happy when itís from a SPEWer. -wink-
I loved it.
Loved it. It made me chuckle, especially the last line.
good work :D
i liked this! LOL to the max!!!!!! The mauraders were totally mauraderish! great job!
Author's Response: Thanks, Christine! ^_^
Yes! He did kick ass! Good ol' 'expelliarmus' eh? lol. Great fic.
Author's Response: You said it, Tweak! Heheh! ^_^ Thanks!
I love this so much!
You write the characters beautifully.
Sequel, please? :)
Author's Response: Thank you, Kirsty! A sequel? Unfortunately, it will be rather hard to think up something to continue this 'un. Lily/James isn't my forte, because they had such a sad ending, *sigh*
Lovely. I very much enjoyed this.
Author's Response: Thanks, maggie! ^_^ I'm glad you did.
omg i luv the last sentence! that was realy well written and u realy captured the characters :)
Author's Response: thanks, Clara!
This one is written very artistically, I'll say. Jo has actually given us only one clue about James and Lily's characters, and you have dug out an entire story, abiding very well to the characterisation. Then again, you have also written about the feelings of a mother, a bride and a lover, all in one stories. You have used very strong words, which are very efficient in displying the emotions and feelings of the characters. I'll go far enough to say that this is one of the best fics in this site.
Author's Response: thanks, pooja! You made me very happy with this review. *squee*
I loved it, it helped me understand how Lily thinks and stuff. I'm writting a story on Lily right now and you've helped me a lot, thank you.
Author's Response: Thank you, Sam! And I'm glad about my story's helping you in your own story. I'll look out for that! And hey, if you need a beta...^_^
Hi, friend ! Thank you for your wonderful dedication. : ) On to the review,
A lot of things could do this to a woman, upset our inner workings like a trunk thrown from a train: stress, nerves, anxiety, flurry.
How very true, Joanna. Well-said.
No child deserved to live in these times, when every moment their innocent little adventures could be cut short by the tip of some lunaticís wand.
I liked the way you phrased this. It was descriptive yet sounded as if Lily was truly speaking to herself.
The way you changed phrases used in the daily lives of Muggles to suit the wizarding world was also clever:
Speak of the goblin; he could appear at the most inconvenient times, couldnít heÖ
It also never occured to me how James might hide his wand in his cuffs while performing wandless magic. The way you wrote made Lily seem cynical and fitted her character wonderfully.
ďPadfootís not pretty and sexy.Ē
ĎYou may kiss the bride.í As if James needed permission.
That was funny! : )
Remus, ever the gentleman.
I think you did well with this, portraying Sirius and James as if they are still boys and Remus as a man.Good characterisation there.
You tied the prompt nicely with the story at the end.
Overall, it was a good read. I think you managed to portray the times when Lily was pregnant very well and the way James and Lily lived without overdoing anything. I just have one tiny suggestion...Maybe your story would have been even better if you included more description in between the dialogues, i.e, description on how Dumbledore's office looked, how Lily looked in her dress and perhaps how James' expression was when he was abotu to kiss her...things like that..
That's just my opinion, though, You're the author my friend, and maybe you intended it to be this way. You know best. ; )
Keep up the great writing, Joanna.
You go, girl! *grabs pom-poms and cheers*
Author's Response: Wow. This is the best review I've received so far! You should apply for SPEW, dear. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Edwina! There's nothing better than detail-by-detail praise and critiquing! You made my day all over again after that fab banner you made me. To your suggestions, don't think I didn't see it either, this is quite a dialogue typhoon, isn't it? But you see, the story is entirely in Lily's perspective so I thought it wouldn't be right to make her narrate to herself places familiar to her like Dumbledore's office. I did describe the cottage, though. And as for James, you're right about that! Pity I can't edit this now, but still, I wanted to focus on their dilemma, not their romance. So I forewent some sparksy details. Again, thanks for this heartening review, sis! And for the cheerdance! ^_^