This was a brilliantly written story, excellent descriptions! I love myth-like stories, God's Goddesses etc. I really dislike Circe, she sounds awful, but part of me thinks as she was designed that way she should be pitied. I also think David deserves the pain of ending up alone because of his betrayal, but as that would appear to be the nature of men should he be blamed for it? And Circe was a goddess don't forget, so perhaps she had a power over him that he couldn't fight. I'm really happy for Thomas, he betrayed nobody and rescued Jacqueline and I'm sure they'll live happily ever after. Sorry about my rambling review, so hears a summary, this was excellent and I loved it.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the in-depth review! I really appreciate it! ~Lindsey :)
-applause!- Very well written and a very good ending. Even if it was a bit sad. Ok, very sad! lol.
I read your reviews and was shocked that someone thought it wasn't well written. Your descriptions are amazing and the story line was very good as well. I don't think you could have done better.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Erin! ~Lindsey :)
I don't like to be negative, but this was not a well written story. There were numerous grammatical errors. Sometimes I wasn't sure what a sentence was supposed to mean. (Example 1: quote: "The men resumed speaking for what felt like ten minutes to the women because they enjoyed watching so, to what really was hours." Example 2: quote: "She was expecting, and he reviled to leave her in this time...")
Some of the images you used were interesting and beautiful. This story would really improve if you got a new beta to read it and give you some advice. Good luck!
Author's Response: Okay . . . I think I had a wonderful beta. I understand your concern for perhaps some of the sentences, but if you would have read them carefully, you would have seen the meaning more in depth. In the second sentence, She was expecting to have a baby, and he reviled (hated) to leave her during that time. I'm not sure what you meant by that. I can faintly understand about the first sentence, but if you would have read it more closely, the men spoke for hours and hours, but it only felt like a few minutes because the girls enjoyed watching it. Time flies when you're having fun, dear. I hope this explained it more. ~Lindsey :(
that was a wonderful story! but why is it on a harry potter fan fic site?
Author's Response: Well, it is a contest entry for one of the background characters WAY before Harry Potter. She is on a Wizard Card, and that was the contest. I'm so glad you liked it! ~Lindsey :)
Wow, Lindsey, that was truly amazing! I'm no good at leaving SPEW-like reviews, so I'll just point out what I loved about this awesome story!
First off, the ending is genius. First I thought, he should have stayed with Circe if his wife is dead. And then I thought - wait - did Circe kill his wife? But she learned he was leaving eight years after Heather died - and my head started to hurt so I just left it alone and interpreted it as a wonderfully climactic ending. I love how he was led to the gravestones by the blind man! That was just...wonderful.
I adored how in the end, David gave in to Circe. No man can resist temptation ;), and I'm glad you didn't give David a quality that almost no man has, in my opinion.
My mouth dropped open in shock when I read that it had been eight years since they arrived. That was a really exciting plot twist (or whatever something like that is called), and I enjoyed David's digestion of the news immensely.
Circe...her characterization was lovely. At times she is strong and arrogant, at others weak and faltering, which I suppose goes back to how she is deeply yearning for true love. I guess that is breaking her mask.
“Y-yes,” Circe stammered, trying to pull away. “Why? It’s not as if you’ve wanted to go anywhere but here---”
This was the only thing in the story that I felt wasn't...right. I don't think a goddess would ever stammer and make excuses, I think in that situation Circe would have pulled away in indignation and arrogantly retorted.
But really, Lindsey, I absolutely loved this story! I especially loved your description of Circe at the start of the story, it caught my attention and made me want to continue with this story. Usually with challenge entries, I skim the story only, but with this I had to read it word for word; that's howgood it was!
Loved it, loved it, loved it! Good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Oh. My. Goodness. What a marvellous review! *huggles to absolute death!* I want to thank you SO very, very much with the compliments, because I absolutely loved writing this. Oh, and thanks for pointing out that mistake. I think that I was listening to Daughtry or something as I wrote that piece, but thanks so much for telling me. :) I really appreciate you taking the time to write this wonderful review, and I’m SO glad that you enjoyed it. ~Lindsey :)
I'm not sure how this is Harry Potter related, but I loved the story anyway.
Just one thing though(but it's just my opinion, so you can ignore it), I found it a bit odd that the man would take David to the tombstones and then tell him that his family died. It would have been more natural if he was either told earlier, or went to the graveyard and found out himself.
Anyhow, just my opinion, awesome story.
Author's Response: Well, the story isn't exactly HP related I guess, but it was for a challenge on the forums, and we were supposed to pick a Wizarding Card. You know, like the one that Ron had about DD on the train to Hogwarts in their first year? A bit like that, I guess. Oh, and that part . . . Well, I wanted to convey the emotions a bit better. Like how I talked earlier in the fiction about how the blind man could convey his senses to hone all in on one thing, (ex. his hearing since he was blind), I wanted to show you that he could find his way around the village a bit better, without his sight . . . Well, now that I reread this, it makes no sense, but that's how I chose to do it. *giggles* I'm so glad you liked it! ~Lindsey :)
Amazing, simply that and nothing more.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! I'm so glad that you liked it so much. It was quite fun to write. Wow, amazing . . . That made my day. :) ~Lindsey :)
I really liked it. It was very different. Good job!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked it, because it was quite a different thing for me to write. :) ~Lindsey :)