Reviewer: tha_looney_one
Date: 01/22/08 20:50
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

just, wow. I don't believe it, that was
a m a z i n g.

You really captured Harry's feelings, if exagerated. I sang it as I read it, and it sounded pretty good like that too!

Off to read more poetry!

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21
Date: 07/24/07 21:25
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Oh wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. That was awesome! I don't usually like poetry, but this poem really was good.

Reviewer: XhayleeXblackX
Date: 06/30/07 17:05
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

I loved this poem(s). It was origional and beautifully saddening. I loved the way he thought of death as a way out, but I highly doubt that he could/would ever take that route, it solves nothing. Unless its to save the whole world, so that Voldemort can die, then maybe thats an exception. Sorry I'm rammbling. This was outstanding.

I have on nitpick though, just on your authors note: When you quote where the prophecy came from you put "Harry Potter and the Order 'or' the Phoenix" it should say 'of'

Amazing Job again, Haylee

Author's Response: Thanks Haylee! I'll fix that. Glad you liked it!

Reviewer: DracoLuva4684
Date: 06/05/07 21:03
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Hello CJ!
I FINALLY read your poem!
Hehe!
Oh, it is sooooooooo good!
Very well written and emotional!
I loved it!
Love ya!
~Cheers~
Sam

Author's Response: Thanks Sam!

Reviewer: the nutty imp
Date: 06/05/07 9:03
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Nit-picky part-time poet here to ..well pick this apart. Don't worry I'm nice ... really! Love the angsty atmosphere from start to finish. The way you started is slightly light with Harry asking: why? and he sounds so unsure and it deals with the burden by which he was born with.

One this first part: These lines breaks the rhythm a bit...

What makes it seem

That I am the “Chosen One?”

Just a suggestions that maybe you can re-arrange it a bit to fit 5 syllables like the first section... something like:

What makes it all seem

I? the "Chosen One?"

Although the other sections don't follow this rhythm, the prophecy quote separates them so seeming gives a break. Anyway I just think it sounds better is the first 2 sections follows the same rhythm. Although it would be nice if the 3rd section follows the 5 syllable rhythm.

The 2nd part delves deeper it more about his inner doubts and the great expectations heaped upon him due to the label. It sounded somewhat like an inner rant. More personal than the first part. :)

The last part is the saddest one its more contemplative and thus gives greater impact than the raging emotions on the 2nd part. There's more resignation in the tone of it.

Great work! I love that you've divided it. Another suggestion is to place the prophecy quote in the beginning so it doesn't break the rhythm of your 1st part.

~miel

Author's Response: *hugs fellow Gryffie* Thanks so much Miel! I'm so glad to here your constructive criticism! I will definetely consider what you said.

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 06/02/07 18:07
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Oh my gosh, I really really really liked this! The characterization and emotion of the piece really comes through, and it doesn't come off as whiny as some angst!Harry done incorrectly can become.

Overall, I liked the repetition, but I also felt it was overdone. Kind of so obvious that it was bashing me over the head.

In the future, I want to see some variations in wording, structure, rhyme, rhythm. Though this poem was good, it was also very simply - and I feel like you're capable of more than that if you challenge yourself. :)

Great work, CJ! Is this your first poem on MNFF? If so, wow! If not, it's really great!

Kumy

Author's Response: Thanks Kumy! I love your criticism! I definetely agree that it was simply put and could be more varied, I'll aim for that in the future. I'm glad you didn't think Harry was too Whangsty! This was actually my second MNFF poem though.

Reviewer: Ron x Hermione
Date: 05/28/07 18:13
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Ooh, I really liked the ay you compared everything in this fiction. Very nice poem, dear!

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: Thanks Lindsey! I'm glad you liked it!

Reviewer: kehribar
Date: 05/28/07 3:51
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

What a beautiful poem! As everyone already said, it's a wonderful portrayal of Harry's feelings about his 'destiny'. I really love it that you're aware it is not completly in-character for Harry to wish to die because of the prophecy - well, it may be an exaggeration, but it certianly is very realistic. It must be hard not to consider the easy way out when there's such a weight on one's shoulders.

A knot that won’t untie.

That must be my favourite line. It's so intense, so meaningful.

It's amazing that we have so very talented Gyrffs ;) Congrats on a poem wonderfully written.

Author's Response: Thanks so much Ayse! I knew when I was writing it that it was a bit OOC, but I thought it turned out quite well, so I still wanted to post it. I'm surprised at the number of people who agree with me on the possibility of this though, even if it is an exaggeration.

Reviewer: Soccer_rocks_likeHP
Date: 05/25/07 13:26
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

This was so beautiful! I love how you portrayed this side of Harry! It was just amazing. I thought it was so cool the way you show his thoughts and feelings on the prophecy. You described him perfectly in saying he doesn't know why he was chosen and that he doesn't want to be "The Chosen One". Great work, keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad that everyones sees the meaning in this poem and agrees with it!

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 05/21/07 18:10
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Okay, I'm back. Here's a real review, this time:

The only way to remember is to forget.
The only way to love is to hate.
The only way to heal is to hurt.
The only way to survive is to die.


This part is beautiful, in my opinion. I love your reasoning behind it. Harry is left with only two choices in the world because of the prophecy - I love it. :D When I read it, I though 'Why couldn't I think of this?' :p Great job on that part. It's very melodic when you read it aloud.

I like how you prtrayed Harry's refusal to kill Voldemort. I never, ever, ever imagined that he would want to kill someone willingly. Yes, he hates the man. Yes, he's angry with him. But I don't truly believe Harry would want to stoop to Voldemort's level and murder a man. I just don't. Therefore - I love how you showed it in this poem. It just makes a lot of sense to me and really makes this a strong poem - it makes sense.

~Kate

Author's Response: Kate - Thanks so much. That was very touching. I'm so happy that I'm getting so many positive reviews and that people are finding my poem plausible! Thanks again for all your help!

Reviewer: butter_beer_drinker
Date: 05/21/07 10:17
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Again, a very moving poem. Harry is very unsure of himself and this sounds like a conversation he might have with himself. If killing Voldemort is his ultimate prophecy, and he has learned that killing is wrong, I'm sure is having a very hard time accepting his fate. It would seem easier to die but then Voldemort would win.

Author's Response: Ahhhh...thanks Kristy! I'm glad my poem seems plausible. Thanks for the touching review!

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 05/19/07 16:28
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

You know I love this poem. >.> You did a really wonderful job with it. It shocks me every time I read it. Great job. Oh, and I love the stanza Priz mentioned, too.

~Kate

Author's Response: Thanks Kate! It wouldn't be nearly as good if it weren't for you, my wonderful beta! Thanks for helping me out with it!

Reviewer: james_fanatic
Date: 05/19/07 7:43
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Oooooh! This was such a good poem. I think the way you incorporated Harry's emotions was really good. I liked how you made the reader actually believe Harry's emotions. Nice job on this.

~Jamie~

Author's Response: Thanks Jamie! I'm happy to hear that my writing is believable! ; )

Reviewer: Disappearance_26
Date: 05/18/07 13:30
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

WOW!!!!! OMGodric, CJ this is amazing! :D I love every word!!!!

The only way to remember is to forget.
The only way to love is to hate.
The only way to heal is to hurt.
The only way to survive is to die.
There is no other way.
Not for you or for me


Whoa! This stanza is so powerful! It really sounds awesome!
Great job honey! I'm so glad I could make a banner for such good poem! :D
--Priz

Author's Response: Awww...thanks so much Priz! I'm so honored to have you to make a banner for my poem, I think its one of your best ones yet!

Reviewer: Lalalalatina
Date: 05/15/07 15:43
Chapter: It's Not Meant to Be

Omygosh this was wonderful. You incorporated so many different styles in the poem and it makes it interesting to read. My fave part is the end:
The only way to remember is to forget.
The only way to love is to hate.
The only way to heal is to hurt.
The only way to survive is to die.
There is no other way.
Not for you or for me.

The only way to survive is to die.
Now that’s my prophecy.


Very powerful words, and some are very true. Although I do agree with you, Harry probably doesn't feel this strongly against his destiny.

I like how you used repetition in several parts. And I liked how you added the prophecy- it really added something (don't ask me what cuz I don't know the word) to the poem.

The only thing I must pick on is this line:
The whole world weighs down on me,
But why cannot I see?

To me it doesn't really make sense- gramatically. I know what you're saying but I believe the "cannot" should be a "can't." I also noticed that in the prophecy, "For" has two f's - you spelled it "Ffor."

By the way, I liked that you used "uncouth" in the poem. I don't know what it means but it's a cool word.

Anyways, fantastic poem. Why have people not reviewed it?

Author's Response: Humph. I typed out this whole long response last night and my computer deleted it. I was too tired to redo it last night so here goes: Thank you so much for your review! Your the first one! Yaaay! The reason no one has reviewed it yet is that it was just validated and my internet had shut down for a few days so I didn't have time to publicize it on the MNFF Beta Boards. I'm glad you liked the many styles in my poem. I thought it made the confusion clearer and more visual. That's one of my favorite verses too. I agree that it is very powerful and strong. I guess "But why cannot I see?" is kind of awkard. I might have to change it to "can't." Thanks for the suggestion! Hmmm...I wonder how thoses double f's got in there. Its fixed! I'm glad you liked the word "uncouth!" For future reference, it basically means confused and awkward. Thank you so much for taking the team to leave a meaningful review! The constructive criticism really helped me!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
The Other Prophecy by IWriteToSurvive 3rd-5th Years
Hermione Granger is in a dilemma. A dilemma she never thought could happen...
FEATURED
Etched in Gold by Cirelondiel 1st-2nd Years
"It’s like a safe place, somewhere to watch the world, somewhere...
The Elder Tree by the opaleye 1st-2nd Years
It would have been no surprise to see Vernon Dursley sitting on the frosty concrete...
Perfect First by Hermiones Kneazle 1st-2nd Years
Hermione is at her first dance and on her first date, but the night for firsts...
blackbird over the dark field by psijupiter 3rd-5th Years
AU. Severus and Remus forge a damaged and damaging relationship in the aftermath...
Turn to Stone by iLuna17 1st-2nd Years
One summer's night in Hogwarts, two statues are given one night to be human.
Ashes of the Past by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Viktor carries the memory of Grindelwald's path of destruction, passed down...
What War Takes by WeasleyMom 6th-7th Years
War takes things and keeps on taking them, and the things it takes don't come...
The Observer Effect by Squibstress 6th-7th Years
Minerva is a watcher. Mostly, she watches Severus. She sees through a glass...
CATEGORIES