Beautifully, written. I loved how Norah, who continued to have strong feelings for James even after their relationship ended, became friends with Lily. Was even her confidant.
Exceptional story! I loved it.
Wow, really really well written, I loveeeee this!l
Wow! Miki, that was nothing short of amazing.
First of all, it was such an interesting idea for you to write about; it was very original, and the fact that Norah is visiting their graves for the first time is very touching. And your writing, needless to say, was amazing. You certainly have a way with words; you somehow managed to make this story sad and touching, yet also very hopeful and inspirational in a way as well.
Norah is a lovely and realistic character, and I think you portrayed her emotions beautifully. The way she speaks to Lily and James is so engaging and personal; I almost feel as though I am there with them, listening as she speaks. It truly is lovely.
Oh, and the hot chocolate was a lovely touch as well. It’s so sweet and touching how Norah makes it for Lily; in fact, all the flashbacks were wonderful. And the ending… *cries* Perfect.
I have a few minor nit-picks (it was amazing that you didn’t use a beta, by the way!), but like Star said they’re mostly commas. So I’ll just mention one thing really briefly: you mentioned somewhere in there that James’ eyes were brown, when they’re really hazel. =]
Anyways, I really hope that you place in the category—you deserve it. Good luck in the challenge!
Oh my gosh. I'm speechless, Miki. This...it was just beautiful. I love your characterization of Norah--she is a wonderful OC. I never thought that James would kiss someone other than Lily while he knew he loved her; it is amazing that they kept that secret.
I hesitate to say that my beta mind was recoiling at some spots. My eye caught forgotten commas and rearranged some things, but you got most of it. Did you use a beta? If you didn't, I congratulate you on that front as well.
Very well written, Miki. You deserve a place in this category!
Author's Response: I actually didn't use a beta. At all. I thought it'd be rejected due to errors. But it wasn't! So yippee! Anywho, was the keeping it a secret believable? I wasn't sure. He is James Potter of course... :D
Wow. Amazing. I loved it... it was so nice. I loved the last paragraph about the archway-- nice touch. And my mouth was watering for the hot chocolate. =D
wow that was beautiful. really nicely done. and the ending was just perfect!