MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
05/16/07 10:14 · For:
This was a highly interesting and believable depiction of the events HArry watched as he stood up on the astronomy tower so long ago. I particularly liked the way you showed the thought process of Dolores. She was just the right amount of evil and snooty.
“It will!” she snapped at him. “We’ll have him begging and pleading by dawn!”
I loved this line. Her misbelief is hysterical. Particularly as I know the final outcome...
Author's Response: Thanks Miki! I'll be reviewing yours shortly. (horseback riding. my legs'll be jelly by tonight. ><) Thanks for the review! I'm glad you found that I balanced it--I found out I love writing about Umbridge.
(Signed) · Date:
05/15/07 11:09 · For:
Yay, it's done! I'm so glad you took up this bunny and entered the challenge, great job! I think you did really well with the idea, and presented a really strong version of what was going through these characters' heads that night. I thought your use of details was very good (Draco and the hippogryff, the house-elves) and I loved the red swamp frog insult!! =)
I just have one question you might want to clarify:
“Wands at the ready, boys,” barked the stout woman, stopping at the door to the creature’s hut. “This won’t be easy.”
Did you want her to say "This *will* be easy." or "This *won't* be easy."? It was sort of confusing with Dawlish's comment afterwards.
I hate to even mention it but it should be easy to nip up. You did a great job! Good luck in the challenge!!
Author's Response: Hey Gina! Thanks for dropping by. Change was a good boy--stood still for all his shots, ate all his food. Kept me awake at time, but it was worth it. Thanks again for lending this bunny to the center, and for a nice review!