That was absolutely beautiful! You capture Lily's emotions very well and show the struggle she goes through. The description and use of language is so powerful that I feel like I have more 'real' answers about their complicated relationship. I enjoyed reading! Bravo!
Order of the Ravenclaw House Elves
You've never actually seen snow?
Snow is the most beautiful thing, it's what makes winters worth while.
As a child we would walk up the largest hill side in our town and stare out over the entire frozen village and world.
It looks like a million diamonds have fallen and are covering the whole world over.
However Blizzards are only beautiful from the inside of your house sipping hot cocoa sitting near the fireplace, unless your keen on getting frostbite.
I love your story its very insightful you've done an amazing job with the way Lilly thinks. I
I should like to read more of your work. :)
Author's Response: Hee! Yeah, here in Australia, on the East Coast we don't get snow :) Inland and further down they do, but not where I live. I've onyl been to the snow twice, and it's all slushy and melting and icy, not powdery. The movies lie.
And I really liked your review. Thanks!
Oh, Steph, this is just … wow!
There just aren’t a lot of Severus/Lily fics out there, so I was immensely pleased when I came across yours. =]
Your strongest point is perhaps description; my heart is still racing from the raw passion and heat. It’s just so alive. Wow!
There was always something intriguing about Lily and Severus, ever since Snape’s Worst Memory, and even before that because Severus always insults James but doesn’t say a word about Lily. And the possibility that they had a secret relationship, and pretended to hate each other in front of everyone else makes so much sense!
I especially enjoyed your characterisation of Lily. You’ve made her more than just the goody-two-shoes or the angsty persona she seems to have in the fandom. I loved how you started the fic with something as simple as snow. Lily does seem like the kind of person who would sit around and look at the snow falling outside. You wrote the confusion going on in her mind very well too. She knows he’s wrong for her, yet she needs him. Wow, that was wonderful.
And Severus, wow, I loved your characterisation of him. Although he’s slightly domineering in their relationship, he comes to find her when Lily needs him. You nailed him perfectly in, which is quite an achievement, considering the complex character that he is.
I caught just one typo:
Moreover, a stupidly as she had tried to ignore it, she seemed to be stopping to admire things about him.
It should read ‘Moreover, as …’ =]
Overall, thanks for the wonderful read, dear!
Author's Response: Preethi! Darling, fantastic review! You make SPEW so proud with this sort of stuff!
I'll admit, I might not be bothered to go in and change that right now, but I definitley WILL, when I do my annual clean up of fics. I don't delete them, I just try and.. improve them? And reviews like these make it easy on the eyes at late hours of the night :)
I loved everything you said. I was so excited when I saw your name, because I love all this sort of the criticism one never seems to recieve. I like her personality, and I like the reality I tried to create as well as the rush I was trying to write in to prepare. I like colours, frankly, and green's a favourite of mine. So thanks so much for this review! It really did honestly brighten my week and make me smile goofily at the screen :)
Author's Response: Ps. I meant I don't like white, and then got confused with the other window I had up. So just reverse everything I said and put a positive spin on it. 'Cause I don't like white, except for snow, which I've never seemed fall. So I probably hold it in a higher regard than most :D
I loved this story so much! I PMed you regarding the review for it in Fiction Junction that I just did, however, this deserves another! :) The description was so beautiful that I could picture everything you were depicting in the most detailed way. I thought the beginning was very effective with the enumeration of the attributes of the snow and your writing style throughout really explores Lily's feelings in a very effective way. Well done!
I never usually even look at Snape/Lily, but this was so cleverly written that I couldn't not keep reading, if you understand my meaning.
Well done once again. I am a new fan of your writing!
Author's Response: OH Phily! That post in FJ made me so much happier than you could have possibly imagined! Wow, thank you for the comments on her personality. I was a little hesitant to push the boundaries regarding submissio guidelines, but you've made me gleeful that you understood the pairing :D
I am blown away by the amount of passion in this story.
I hate that this is a one-shot, but God bless you for writting it anyways!! Sometimes a good story just needs to be told whether its a chaptered story or not.
Author's Response: If you're back here and looking at this review, please contact me! I'd love to talk to you more about the development of the story :).