That was an interesting perspective from the mind of Peter Petigrew, one confusing and twisted mind
Author's Response: Thanks, Shane! I uh, kinda thought so, too. :) ~Lindsey :)
this one was really dark, but just as good as your others. you are the only author that i have found that i like their fluff and their angst stories.
Author's Response: DOUBLE REVIEW! Wheeee! ~Lindsey :)
this one was really dark, but just as good as your others. you are the only author that i have found that i like their fluff and their angst stories.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! You don't know how much appreciate all of your feedback. It really makes me feel special that you like all of trhese stories so much! Thanks! ~Lindsey :)
Hey, Ron x Hermione. I’ve been reading through the challenge entries and wanted to drop a review on your entry. I thought it was pretty well done. I haven’t read everything you have written (you’ve got a lot). But, out of everything you have written that I have read, I think I enjoyed this one the most. Very good job!
I liked your portrayal of Peter very much. He’s infuriated with the treatment he received from his friends to the point where he wants them dead. Yet, in the end, he is too cowardly to go through with it.
I would have liked to see some more of the pranks, and why Peter was becoming so upset. You did touch on some of it. For example, Peter had always felt that they could have possibly been staring at him, but those hopes had been shattered as soon as he saw their repulsed faces when he had given them a smile. I loved this line. It’s such a real feeling and so believable. I can totally see where Peter probably had this happen to him … on several occasions. Poor guy! That was very good and I would have liked to see more concrete examples like that so I could really feel the transition in Peter from friend to foe. Does that make sense?
One other thing I caught was repetitive words. You used the word matured twice in a matter of a few sentences, both to describe either James or Sirius. I always find myself diving into a thesaurus when I catch myself using the same word in close proximity, or trying to find a way to rephrase the sentence altogether.
Anyway, you did a good job here and I wish you the best of luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much, Skipper! It's nice to see a first reviewer! *giggles* I'm so glad that you liked this. And thank you for that catch. I will definitely go back and change it and hopefully try and prevent it in the future. :) ~Lindsey :)
