MuggleNet Fan Fiction
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Reviews For Young and Restless

Name: ferret (Signed) · Date: 04/30/08 20:26 · For: Young and Restless
this story is bloody brillant

Name: xohplovr94xo (Signed) · Date: 03/27/08 16:13 · For: Young and Restless
anonymous...hmmm.... thats a cool fic!!! i'm enjoying all of your fics!

Name: Aubrey Tyme (Signed) · Date: 03/24/08 16:51 · For: Young and Restless
Wow!! You get the romance in it, but it's not all kissing in broom closets, so that's good. We actually get to explore the characters, and not just see them dive into a relationship and the story's over. It's original, witty. I loved it!!!

Name: peevesismyhero (Signed) · Date: 11/08/07 19:10 · For: Young and Restless
aww! great story. is the girl an originial character or is she actually someone mentioned in the series and im an idiot for not picking up on it? anyway, i loved it!

Name: Marauder by Midnight (Signed) · Date: 10/29/07 8:34 · For: Young and Restless
Oh! I so liked how it ended. How witty!

I am so glad you left the girl unnamed. Usually it doesn't work well with stories (I certainly can't pull it off very well) but you've pulled our attention away from that small detail of names and have me focused on the story in general.

I enjoyed the beginning when they were honest to each other. I'm curious as to why she was wearing fishnets though xD Sirius' characterisation in this story was different. Not like others we've seen, but it's not a bad difference. Usually we see him pulling out all the moves, but here, he was calm and...normal. I liked it.

The dance that the girl and Sirius do before finally meeting in the library is delightful. Though the whole scene in front of the Transfiguration seemed too movie-like, you showed that Sirius was now hyper-aware that she existed. Believable and, for me, relatable. *shifty eyes*

Sirius wasn’t watching where he was going since he, James, Remus, and Peter were plotting their next prank
This took me a while to understand. Instead maybe this will work better: "Sirius, focused on plotting the next prank with the other Marauders, wasn't watching where he was going."

Speaking of the Marauders, I would've expected them to notice something funny going on with Sirius. Wouldn't they be curious as to whatever deviations Sirius had in his regular behavior, i.e., girl rating or prank planning?

Hmm I wonder what the difference is between Potions and Prejudice and Pride and Prejudice. It gives it a good magical twist to it, but I think the original title, and book, could've been kept, and it would've all meant the same thing.

Very little critique to give otherwise. Thoroughly enjoyed it. How appropriately titled!

Name: fg_weasley (Anonymous) · Date: 10/15/07 21:23 · For: Young and Restless
Okay, so I just have to say that I absolutly loved this story, dear. It's very well written; brilliant job love.

I also must say that I liked your characterization of Sirius. Well, of both of them really, but Sirius especially.

Sirius didn’t think about his actions until he reached the large wooden doors of the library. As he reached for the handle, he was suddenly overcome with doubts. What was he doing? He had only had one short conversation with this girl. What would he say when he found her? What would she say? What if they had nothing in common? What if she didn’t fancy him at all? What if she was annoyed that he spoke to her? These questions and more crowded his brain, and Sirius turned away from the door, only to turn back, and then away again. He knew he must have looked like a complete fool, turning on the spot so many times as though he couldn’t make up his mind. But that was the case — he had no idea what to do.

I really liked that paragraph because it showed that Sirius could be nervous when it came to girls; that he was not always a "playboy". Of course, there were tons of other parts I could have pulled out regarding his great characterization, but that one stood out to me the most.

Anyway, I did like this story a lot. One question though, love, that I'm sure you've gotten a maddening amount of times already. I'm going to ask anyway, dear. What. is. her. name?

Name: siriusblack1440 (Signed) · Date: 06/11/07 11:10 · For: Young and Restless
this story was amazing. super cute

Name: wendelin the wierd (Signed) · Date: 05/27/07 11:10 · For: Young and Restless

Once more I am adventuring out of my typical MWPP reading into something entirely new- Sirius/OC! So this is a really delightful experience and yours would happen to be the first fic I have read of this kind. (Excluding the one I wrote, of course.)

I absolutely adore your OC and would love to know who she is! You have done a marvelous job of giving her both fieriness and vulnerability. It is a really unusual combination and most authors cannot carry it off without making their characters look like complete Mary-Sue’s. But Abigail, you have managed to do a wonderful job in this aspect. She is a very lovable and friendly character while at the same time she projects an aura of poise.

Sirius too is perfectly in character. We know him to be a bit of a playboy so you have got that part down perfectly. I long to know who this mystery girl is who managed to take Leanne’s Sirius in.

Sirius looked up, startled, at the girl who had just stormed into the common room. He’d seen her around, of course; when you lived in the same dormitory all year, you began to recognise your fellow housemates. He couldn’t remember her name, but he was fairly certain she was only a year under him.

I think that is Sirius right there! You have characterised him wonderfully. You see, it is really typical of him to not remember just another girl or housemate and it is purely human to recognize a face which has been in the background for so long. What I am trying to say is, I really admire your writing style and choice of words here.

‘Do you know, you’re right,’ Sirius said. ‘I mean, that is what I usually do. Not that I shove my tongue down every girl’s throat, but yeah, I don’t normally pay attention to what they’re saying.’

I was really surprised by Sirius’ frank honesty there. But I loved this part! It was so sweet and fluffy! You have a real knack for writing parts that make you want to go ‘Awww….’, Abigail. It was so very sweet. I think Sirius and this mysterious OC are a perfect match for each other.

I loved the wizarding version of ‘Pride and Prejudice’! ‘Potions and Prejudice’ is just priceless and added intrigue to the fic.

Overall, I would say you have a very sweet and fluffy fic on your hands, Abigail. Excellent!

Name: telmasif (Signed) · Date: 05/14/07 10:33 · For: Young and Restless
looooved this ! (:

Name: doozles (Signed) · Date: 05/13/07 1:40 · For: Young and Restless
he, he, he... potions and prejudice!

Name: GinnyRox13 (Signed) · Date: 05/01/07 20:36 · For: Young and Restless
i LOVE your story it is SOOOO good! Did you write any others?

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I have written others. Just click on my author name.

Name: Starmaiden (Signed) · Date: 04/25/07 20:07 · For: Young and Restless
I don't know if I've read much of your work. I really like this story.

Her robes parted at the knees, revealing a pair of legs encased in fishnet tights. Sirius quirked an eyebrow.
Hee hee! Nice detail; I’m seeing this scene as I read it. The details aren’t overly thick, but it’s descriptive anyway.

Why can’t a bloke see that I’m more than just a pretty face? I have a brain, too, you know!
Ah yes, the age-old cry of the intelligent female! Followed by:
‘Right,’ she said finally. ‘And you’re one of the types who just smiles and nods at whatever a girl says, hoping she’ll eventually shut up so you can shove your tongue down her throat.’
Hardly what I was expecting. Of course, any girl that Sirius really likes has to have spirit. I kind of like that I don’t know her name yet; discovering her personality before labeling her.

‘I mean, that is what I usually do. Not that I shove my tongue down every girl’s throat, but yeah, I don’t normally pay attention to what they’re saying.’
And that was really not what I was expecting! I love it.

Eeesh. I can’t quote this whole thing, but I’m wanting to! The description, as I said before, is so detailed without bogging anything down; I don’t usually “watch” the story, but this one lends itself to that nicely. I’m really enjoying the honest wit of both characters, and the mystery of the Nameless Girl!

At the start of the second part, you say that Sirius “never remembered seeing her before that night she stormed into the common room wearing fishnet tights.” But at the very beginning, it says “He’d seen her around, of course; when you lived in the same dormitory all year, you began to recognise your fellow housemates.”

I love the flirtatiousness! At some times, she’s bold, grinning at Sirius from way down the table, and then she also shows her girly side, blushing and glancing back at him and so on. She’s very three-dimensional.

About a month after their first meeting, while James was in detention, Sirius nicked the Map from his trunk to see where she was.
Does he know her name? If not, how’d he find her on the Map? Though I do like how you just reference the Map; you don’t feel the need to explain how the whole thing works. It’s so much smoother that way – and it’s a kind of compliment, assuming that we know about it already.

‘Oh, just looking,’ Sirius said, shrugging. It was true, though he hadn’t been looking for books.
‘So, it looks like you were able to shove your tongue down my throat after all,’ she said with mock severity.

Hee hee! I love these lines. And Pride and Prejudice! Ten extra points right there!

I like how she’s still a mystery. I sill don’t know her name, but that’s okay. I kind of feel that giving her a name would be to set up a pairing and take away some of the delicate fun from this, if that makes sense.

I wish I could keep going, but I’ll just be repeating myself. Wonderful job!

Name: smiley10792 (Signed) · Date: 04/25/07 18:16 · For: Young and Restless
This is really, really good! I love your characterization and the way you portrayed this romance- not too much, not too little.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much! I was trying to go in a slightly different way with the characterisation, especially for Sirius, and I really didn't want to go over the top with the romance, either. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: Irish_Quiditch (Signed) · Date: 04/25/07 14:31 · For: Young and Restless
brilliant story. but what was the girls name?

Author's Response: Thank you! Actually, I wasn't allowed to say the girl's name -- it was part of the assignment. But your comment makes me wonder if I should add an author's note, explaining that. Thanks again for reviewing!

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