Theodore Nott's just a ridiculously interesting character, isn't he? The way you've written him really fits perfectly into canon.
Your characterisation of him is just wonderful. I love how real you've made him, especially by giving him little quirks (like hating house-elves). JKR said at one point that Theo didn't feel the need to be in a gang like Draco's, and I think that really came across here. Their confrontation was very IC and believable.
“I’d watch myself if I were you, Theo. You’re nothing, only a minor supporter with no real influence. I, on the other hand…” As a way of completing his sentence, Draco rolled up his sleeve and covertly displayed the black brand on his arm. Theodore tried to hide his look of disgust.
I think this moment was my favourite. Draco's really in too deep, and Theo's reaction is perfect.
I like your use of bolded quotes throughout the story; I feel like it gives it real depth. It's nice that Theo cares about his father, and that his father has always been trying to protect him.
On that note, I have to say that I think one of my favourite things about this chapter is how you wrote his father. From the little you show, it makes it seem natural that Theo turned out the way he did.
The theme of control is really very interesting, and there's a lot to be done with it. I have to admit that what attracted me to this story was the title. It's an absolutely perfect one.
This was a really brilliant first chapter, I love Theo's determination to not end up like his father as opposed to Draco's fervent desire to copy his, it's an excellently written contrast. I can't wait to read on, so please update soon.
Hey Jean! Was clicking 'round one day and re-found this wonderful story--of which I have yet to beta another chapter! Just send it over when you're ready, you know how much I love this fic!
I seem to have cheated myself out of reading an excellent story by not getting over here sooner!
So little is known of Theodore Nott, but I would swear on "Hogwarts, A History" that what you have written comes directly from canon. You have put so much description into Theodore and his feelings, emotions regarding his father and their conflicted life with Death Eaters.
I liked that Mr.Nott realized at the end that he had lost control - exactly what Theodore had grown up all his life hearing his father demand he not do.
I also liked that his father told him with his last breath that he loved his son, and his last thoughts were on Theodore's safety - making sure Theodore goes to his Uncle Xavier who can protect him.
Theodore's father doesn't want him losing control the way he himself lost it - and indeed - when one is in service to another, one has already lost control. Unfortunately, there is no regainng control from the Dark Lord. Draco Malfoy is a lurking reminder of that fact.
I thought this a well thought out, extremely well-written story that truly peaks my interest in this character.
Great job! (And Congratulations, by the way, on becoming a published writer for Teen Ink - how thrilling!)
This is interesting...
Theodore Nott is never displayed in much detail in the books, just another Slytherin for the trio to hate. I think it's a pity, that the trio should make friends with at least ONE Slytherin.
and the fact that he doesn't support Voldemort in this story makes him even more intriguing.
In fact, I'm currently trying to write a story about young Theo, because he is a canon character who is still flexible in characterization, because he is only a face and a name in the books.
can't wait to read more on this. keep up the good work. :)
Interesting start and characterisation -- Theo's a bit of a mystery in canon, so a version of him as an anti-Voldemort Slytherin is good!