This was a great alternative to Harry's 17th birthday. I think that the Order would have left them some way to protect themselves, especially McGonagal who seems to have helped Petunia when she swore to protect Harry.
I don't know why but it seemed that most the br combos were missing in this story. It was very weird to read words like that.
It was fun how Snape was able to change his perceptions enough that if Bella were able to break into his mind he would have seen Harry and not Dudley as the person waiting upstairs. It was also cool how he was able to get the set up of the house from Petunia before putting her to sleep. I can only guess what her reaction would be when she woke to find Dudley dead.
Poor Dudley. Stolen of his right at Magical school. I loved how Snape could have pictured him in Slytherin. I think you really upheld the Snape is good and disguised it very well until the end of the story. I was thinking Petunia and Vernon were dead. It would have been nice if Snape could have found some excuse to save his life. I would have thought a good Snape would have done a little more with his cunning to protect a kid, especially one that had been an untrained wizard.
Very good. I can see this happening whether you are a "Snape-is-a-villian" or "Snape-is-a-hero" person. He could murder Petunia because of their mutual hatred/dislike. I like how smoothly you worked mind penetration into the text-quite masterful.
This story is a great alternative to what could have happened the night Harry turned 17. It is a shame that Dudley was killed while his parents survived. Too bad he choose that night to risk sneeking out...it cost him his life. If he really had known the dangers of that night and understood his cousin's enemies better he would have been better prepared...as would his parents have been. By turning away from Harry's world for so long, they brought about this...and if Dudley had been trained to do magic, he may also have been able to protect himself better.
The scenes of Legilmency and Occlumens is realistic as the effects are described by first Petunia, then Snape as Beatrix tries to invade his mind...but the barrier that he has in place through Occlumens shows a bit how each work. A sad ending for Dudley Dursley...this is an interesting view of what may have been in another universe.
Wow... this is... intense. Points for originality. You handled the changes in points of view very well. I really, really enjoyed this story.
Author's Response: "Intense." Hmm. I like that word. Thanks for the points, the praise, and the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed my story.
wow. sad. I always enjoy reading more about the dursleys since they seem such petty bad guys, but this story just makes me sad.
Author's Response: It was supposed to be sad, really, so I guess its done its job. Sorry for bringing you day down, though. Thanks for reviewing.