MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: MidnightBlue-Raven (Signed) · Date: 03/17/12 0:56 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
LOL sooooooo funny! XD

Name: jenkent (Signed) · Date: 11/07/09 13:56 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
That was really cute! Very original...loved it!~Jen

Name: Iulia Domna (Signed) · Date: 10/29/08 10:26 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
I was... ummm... reading this at work and kept laughing and sniggering, earning me very funny looks from colleagues. It's hilarious!

I think it's great how you've got the Slytherin team calling each other by their first names - it's a nice touch, makes them seem a bit more human. As the reader isn't familiar with their first names I think maybe you should have stuck to using their surnames just for the narration, because I did get a bit confused about who was who. And I definitely don't think the Weasleys would slip into such easy conversation with the Slytherin team as to address them by their first names, like you've got George doing right at the end.
You could use the first name / surname thing to great effect to create a feeling of how they are still very much two separate (rival) teams rather than one group of friends.
I'm not sure if you're trying to show a growing tolerance of each other by how they use their names. If you are, I think that narrating by using surnames for the Slytherins would provide a contrast and make it more obvious what you're doing.

Gosh, what a lot of waffle I write.

The touches of the Slytherins' home life are inspired! Especially the elf and the washing.

Name: ringobeatlesfan4 (Signed) · Date: 08/03/08 9:51 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Funniest story I have read in a long time! I loved the final dare, it made me crack up for about five minutes. Great job! {BeccA}

Name: EmmWebb (Signed) · Date: 07/23/08 17:47 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Wow. I've been looking for a good story that actually contains humor that I makes me laugh out loud, and I've found it. You did such a wonderful job conveying all the characters and their reactions. I saw everything perfectly! This was the most creative and hilarious one-shot yet. Good work!

Name: taytay (Signed) · Date: 07/09/08 1:35 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
it was great and funny

Name: NevillesGran (Signed) · Date: 06/12/08 18:54 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Ha ha ha! Mildly sick, but hahaha anyway!

Name: ginnyrulz13 (Signed) · Date: 06/05/08 0:07 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
lol that was really funny! i liked it!

Name: xohplovr94xo (Signed) · Date: 03/26/08 10:19 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
ahahahahahah hysterical!!! i really enjoyed it.

Name: Tonks_802 (Signed) · Date: 02/18/08 20:05 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Thsi has to be one of the greatest story ever. No really... whenever I feel like having a good laugh I almost always go back to this story. Keep on writing!!

Name: RowenaHeart (Signed) · Date: 02/10/08 20:46 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Absolutely amazing! Where on earth do you think of stuff like this? it is simply brilliant!

Name: PadfootnPeeves (Signed) · Date: 01/21/08 19:06 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Ah, this was brilliant! A friend told me about this story- I had no idea what I was missing!

All the characters were IC, and it was extraordinarily funny, and realistic. Great fic- it just might have a new home in my faves :)

Name: Lurid (Signed) · Date: 12/29/07 4:17 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Dear. Dear Abi. I don’t think I’ve – chortled? (that seems like the right word) so much during a story. I loved the point system. I loved the in-character refusal to kiss another boy. That’s just… so Malfoy. Not Draco necessarily (because slash Draco would have gone NO! extravagantly and kissed Harry soundly, of course) but definitely Malfoy, not even noble enough to sacrifice the stability of his own sexuality for his team. –grins-

And just for, you know, the whole record thing – they so wouldn’t have got on that well. But who really cares? Draco was wearing a bra. They were calling each other by their first names. Everyone was kissing. I loved the whole Katie/Miles progressive stages of winding arms around each other. That was very realistic.

I did think, with the first name basis, that Chris should have remained Warrington. Looking back, it reminded me a little of, “So, son, what’s your name? Chris? Say hi to Chris, everybody – Hi Chris!” / commentary. But yes. Calling people by last names is very Slytherinish, so even if the I-so-totally-hate-you-Potty boundaries had been overstepped, there still would have been that comparison.

I can’t seem to remember exactly what Harry’s dare was. I think reality is a little like that, too. You go from one to the other, and forget all the easy ones. Hee. Yay. I want to play truth or dare, now. I think we should totally do this next SPEW chat, when we’re both caught up on reviews, okay? Let’s make it our New Years resolution to get them in on time. –links arm- if there’s more stories like this, you’re so getting another review in this fashion. Or a slightly more professional one, anyway >.> Ahem.

But hee. There’s not so much to criticize when a story has you laughing and just in a generally happy mood. I think I might finish with this tonight, just so I can go to bed smiling and thinking of Draco wearing a bra. Perhaps he’ll get so good at it he can give me tips. Or just lend me his bra. I’m pretty sure a bra meant for a boy would fit me, too. And what we really need right here is Pat’s comment about wanting fresh air against his breast. Hee. I love Spew, and I adore you too!

PS. I just saw the review count. I’m pretty sure this is the most successful one-shot EVER. I am so, so happy for you. You’re made of awesome.

Name: Gin_Drinka (Signed) · Date: 12/01/07 8:03 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Hehe. Very cute and very funny. Sorry for the lack of elaboration...

Name: peevesismyhero (Signed) · Date: 11/08/07 19:01 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
AWESOME! i love this whole idea, though im sure if it had been in the books the slytherins and gryffindors would have, well, tried to kill eachother, but anyway. i liked the whole fred/angelina george/alicia thing...and i even liked te whole katie/miles thing even though it was a bit unrealistic. but who ever said humor fics had to be realistic???? and of course, dracos red bra was a nice touch :-)

Name: pandafan81 (Signed) · Date: 10/25/07 17:37 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Hello Abilove!

As I was reading through our spotlight tread, it occured to me, that I don't think I've read any of your MNFF work. And that is a horrible oversight. I aim to rectify that immediately! And I couldn't resist a laugh. After reading the discussion about this particular story, I was quite interested. But do expect to see other reviews from me in the near future! *HUG*

Heee, that was a lot of fun. I do agree, that swapping to first names at the end was a bit confusing. I think it would work better if only the Slytherins used the first names, since they are more familiar. Although, I did like the "Which Weasley?" part. And I loved Thaddeus Judas Uranus Montague! What a name! And totally something a pure-blood Slytherin family would name their kid! Actually, all of the names you created worked well.

The dialouge was a lot of fun. And I think this could almost be plausible, simply because the teams didn't have an audience. Of course, the retelling will sound a lot more vicious, but I think they could behave good-naturedly if put in a situation like that.... Well, maybe all of them except Malfoy! :)

Excellent work love, thanks for the laugh!

Name: callmehermione (Signed) · Date: 10/10/07 22:01 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
This story doesn't have a SPEW review. All the rest of your stories do. And I wanted to honor you somehow because of the author spotlight thing, so here I am!

Now. You know, what gives this story its wonderful draw and believable feeling is the dialogue of each particular character. It's marvelous characterisation and amazing dialogue, all in one! The exchange between Fred and George, the exhausted Chasers, Angelina's driven commitment, Ron's worry, etc, all blends to make this a very successful story from the beginning.

The Slytherin Quidditch team have never seemed to me like the brightest of blokes, yet you've captured their sometimes-dull wit very well. As soon as Slytherin enters the picture, the stalemate becomes obvious.

‘Yeah, maybe they’ll catch cold and die,’ offered Alicia hopefully The 'hopefully' tacked on to the end of this sentence is wonderful, and brings the whole scene into perspective.

‘When you’re done congratulating yourselves,’ said Warrington sarcastically, ‘I can explain how this is going to work.’ I don't know if you can picture it, but I was just sitting at my computer in the yearbook room by myself laughing at this line, and the preceding discussion. I'm also looking forward to seeing how one can win at T&D.

‘Uh, well, I sort of think that —’ here Miles mumbled incoherently — ‘isn’t so bad.’ Your second dash here needs to be inside the quotation, before isn't. Oh! You've been using single quotations! That's so lovely and British of you.

'Hey, no cheating!’ Alicia protested. Silly Alicia, doesn't she know this is allowed?

Oh, you’re so predictable, Potter,’ drawled Malfoy. ‘Dare.’ I can hear him saying this, but I'm having trouble seeing it. How is the team standing, if they are standing? Leaning on each other? I'm just curious as to the rest of them - I mean, it is a lot of people in the locker room. I hope that makes sense.

My turn now,’ Katie said primly. Primly. Perfect! And of course! It's like you can predict their exact reactions. Even though you're writing them. It almost seems as though you're just observing the story and describing it really well.

The entire locker room held their breath. This is difficult, because you're using the locker room as a synecdoche to represent its occupants (which is nice), but your verb does need to agree with your subject and object, so. It needs to be 'The entire locker room held their breaths.' or 'The entire locker room held its breath.'

‘Well, we don’t make any promises,’ Fred said indulgently. ‘These aren’t guaranteed yet.’ Love this line. Fred is so convincing that he may not even believe this himself, but he can sure scare dear Pucey (What a name. You did good research on the teams.)

‘Okay, so there’s only George and Ron left. Uh, I pick … Ron, I guess.’ Would he have said this right away? It seems more logical that he would have pointed to each of them, or something, and said 'Weasley and Weasley' or something.

There are just too many delightful lines to keep quoting, but rest assured you're doing a brilliant job of representing everyone, especially in their reactions.

The only other thing I would suggest you add is some sort of reference to Draco's bra when he says things sometimes. The other team members are bound to notice it, even if he doesn't.

In my opinion, there's no reason whatsoever you should be ashamed or embarrassed about this story. The writing is wonderful, the situation surprisingly realistic, and the outcome satisfactory. I'm very glad you decided to share this with the world.

Name: chasing_willow (Signed) · Date: 10/09/07 1:05 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
That was great!
Everyone seemed in character and.. Judas Uranus..!!! that never gets old.

Name: Wicked_Quill (Signed) · Date: 10/07/07 18:48 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
Awww! I adore this fic, it makes me happy. To bad the teams don't get along that well in the books. life might be a little easier for all involved if they did.

Name: breeza13 (Signed) · Date: 10/04/07 6:14 · For: Of Bras, Hail, and Pustules
I really enjoyed that story I was wondering if you could possibly do another truth or dare seeing as your so good at them but with the students of Gryffindor.

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