Well, that was sweet! =) I loved the objective viewpoint of the story. It was very ... detached, but not cold. Maybe I should just say omnipresent 2nd person and get it over with, eh? *grins*
I think my favorite part of the tale was the description of Hermione's house. I loved the hedge clippers! Very clever. And the vegetables. I could just see them. =)
It was a little odd that Draco did not recognize Hermione as Hermione, but five years can change people, and I've mistaken perfect strangers for friends, too.
Harry seemed a little OOC, but that's only because I don't imagine him sending Hermione off anywhere. (Not to mention the fact that she wouldn't go AND she'd figure a way out of the charm. *giggles) But I can imagine his and Ron's distress over Hermione's confession.
All in all, I really enjoyed this story and would love to read a bit more about Hermione's adventures in France. =) A house full of Squibs doing everything at beck-and-call seems fair punishment. =P
Finally, congratulations on being Ravenclaw of the Month! You really did deserve it. *huggles*
Author's Response: Wow, Julia! Thanks so much for the review! This fic popped into my head awhile ago, point of view included, and I couldn't just leave it alone. Thanks again!
Okay, Kate, I have decided I’m not sure if I like this or not. It makes a wonderful soap opera. The way you explain things in your story is not exemplary. Think about it this way would you have said, “Hermione Jane Granger, yes, I love you. When I finally discovered that Potter had sent you away, I thought it was because he had discovered our relationship and desired nothing more than to cleanse you of me. So after two years of fruitless searching, I began campaigning. My goal for the past three and a half years has been to clear my name and to make sure that your friends think that I am worthy of you.” in real life? No. A lot of your dialougue is like this. I think it would have been best to use that cunning narrator voice you came up with to explain the plot and use their voices sparingly and shortly. In this instance, it would have been better to show not say.
I kind of like this, but it is not the type of fic I would generally read.
Author's Response: Er, thanks? :) This fic was a sort of experiment for me, mostly with the narration. Showing and not telling has always been a little difficult for me, or rather, find the balance between showing and telling. Thanks for the review!
Nice story, I liked the third person narrator at the beginning. Keep writing, please!
Your French translations aren't right...
Rester dans votre chambre !” would be
"Restes dans ta chambre"
Rester is an infinitive. Votre is formal/plural so when Hermione is talking to her daughter, she'd use the tu (formal) form. Just change those in all your quotes in French and I think you'll be all set.
Sorry for the nitpicking!
That was a lovely one-shot
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the French help! I'll fix that right now. *scurries off*. And thanks for reviewing!
interesting style of writing, with the impartial viewer. I do think though, that the potter house is rather implausible, and wouldn't hermione have found a way out? she is the smartest witch of her age...
Author's Response: I guess this could have been better clarified. Hermione could leave the house, but not go back to England, as there was a Human Banishing Charm on her. Once that was made illegal she came back. *scurries off to specify*
You should have probably put a warning that it was HG/DM ship.
Author's Response: Sorry if you're not a Dramione shipper! I wanted to make it a surprise.