MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 02/14/08 20:11 · For: Today: October 1st 1996
Very interesting take on R.A.B.! I love the way you portray Voldemort's - twisted! - mind. It's pretty believable and yet very different from what we see in canon. A very well done piece, and an enjoyable read!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!rnrnIt is great to get such a positive review. Thanks for reading!

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 07/14/07 11:25 · For: Today: October 1st 1996
Wow. This is such an interesting and surprising story! I’ve heard of/read about quite a few RAB theories but this is truly something original. I love the way you leave some clues throughout the story which make us question Voldemort’s character, though the ending for me still came as a total surprise. Very well written!

I like the way you have set out this story – having it in the first person makes characterisation so much more vivid and in perspective, almost as if we’re seeing things from inside Voldemort’s head, all his twisted thoughts etc. I like your introduction entry a lot, especially the way that you allow Voldemort to express the fact that he knows that what he is doing isn’t wholly right. Yet he carries on with his plans regardless, which truly reflects his ‘personality’.

As I fight to raise myself above the rest of humanity I grow less and less human.
I love the tone of this remark. To any outsider, it may seem as if by growing above humanity – i.e. a power issue, the ‘less and less human’ part sounds horrific. However from the tone of this it almost feels as if Voldemort doesn’t care, which is just … scary.

The hanging of one man, I realized, results in the death of his closest relatives. To the world they may seem intact, but inside they are torn apart.
Again, the tone of this is fantastic; chilling and powerful. It seemed to me that this statement was a remark about love. Voldemort/Tom Riddle, who has always hated the concept of love, seeing it as a form of dependence on others/weakness must despise this idea. To some, for others to grieve at the death of one in the family, this shows a positive sense of community and caring. I really like the way you’ve characterised Voldemort in this expression, it’s a great emphasis on what he values … amazing.

I really enjoyed the section devoted to Slughorn. It explained a lot about how Voldemort developed and came to create and value his Horcruxes. I thought it was particularly clever how you even blocked out the word ‘horcruxes’ showing that in a way, Voldemort doesn’t even trust himself/his diary not to get into the wrong hands. Slughorn’s characterisation in this part is exceptional. I love the way that he is nervous around Tom but determined to do the right thing. It kind of reflects what we know from canon later on – that Slughorn perhaps, feels as if he had his chance to rectify things but messed it up. *sigh*

“Alohamora,” I whispered. Using my weight as leverage, I heaved and the door slowly twisted outward.
Just a spelling pick – “Alohamora” should be “alohomora” :)

The last act of pain that will leave us unremembered and unimportant.
Fantastic way of putting things – this sort of sums up all of Voldemort’s ‘feelings’ I guess – he fears the pain, the unknown and the loss of power associated with death. Wow.

My only crit with this story is with the first part of it. There seems to be a bit too much emphasis on the first person perspective – you use ‘I…’ repeatedly, and the sense of Voldemort’s self seems a bit lost and the effect is dampened by this. It may be better to use fewer ‘I’’s to start the sentences, and just jump straight into the descriptions or replace these words wth ‘it’ or similar, if that makes sense. :) Other than this, great job!

Once again, this story is very well written, with some fantastic and creative ideas. I’ve never thought about Voldemort himself creating RAB, yet I’m glad you managed to tie in Regulus in this as well, it’s very clever and understandable! Awesome work, well done!!


Author's Response: wow. That was one of the most fantastic reviews I have ever recieved. Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to write such a lengthy review. I will take your crit. into consideration and I will revise as soon as I have time. Thanks :)

Name: FullofLife (Signed) · Date: 04/27/07 9:28 · For: Today: October 1st 1996
Nice. :D I wasn't expecting it at all.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: Cheshlin (Signed) · Date: 04/22/07 20:15 · For: Today: October 1st 1996
That was a very interesting story. I mean that in a good way. That Voldemort would understand that he had made himself empty, I find a little off, but I like the concept. I just think he would never see what he has become, but just revel in the fact he was immortal. Here it almost seems like he mourns it. I did enjoy reading this though! Cyns

Author's Response: you never know :)

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