Here's the review I promised in exchange for that lovely banner you made me. I didn't expect to be wowed, but I am.
This was beautiful! It almost made me cry. Your descriptions are beautiful, and your metaphors and comparisons highly accurate.
The way Sarah describes Severus made me fall in love with him; she makes him out to be gentle and kind. I loved their first kiss, it gave me shivers! He changed so much by the end that I couldn't believe it. He became the Snape that we all know and ...love?
It's so sweet how Sarah begs him to stay! How could he leave someone who loved him so much? But, if I may, I think some of Severus's love for Sarah may have evaporated...he doesn't seem to lover her as much as he used to. It doesn't seem likely that he would leave her just because of her ideals, or because she's foolish.
A while ago he would have run to me, healed me, tended to me.
This seems to me to be the saddest line of the story. That he used to lover her so, and now he's simply used to her injuries...it's just sad. If he still loved her as much, he would run to her no matter what, wouldn't he?
And the memory was over. And we were over. And I was over.
So final, so sad! This makes it clear that everything is finished, that they never made up or spoke again. Their love was lost...how heartbreaking!
I've got two nitpicks:
This should be Ancient Runes.
“Severus, how was you’re day?”
It should be "your."
Nevertheless, this story was simply magical. It's amazing how you managed to convey so much emotion in a one-shot, and with an OC. Your writing style is beautiful, once again I must mention how much I love your metaphors and comparisons (things I can never think up).
Something confused me, though. At the end of the story, she says she's being reborn...does she mean that literally? Have you brought the theme of reincarnation into the story as well?
Also, Sarah says in death they truly seperated. Sevvy didn't go back to Sarah, did he?
Overall, beautiful story, beautiful writing, and especially, wonderful characterization of Severus, he's extremely believable as the potions master we are familiar with. Beautiful piece, I truly mean that.
That was beautiful. I could go back and quote all the good lines, but there are too many. I love this sort of story.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. =)
I didn't realise this was up already! :D Well done! I really loved it and thought you did an amazing job with it! Did I mention that I'm in love with your description?! hehe!
Author's Response: Heheh, thanks.
Incredibly well done. You paint a beautiful picture with your words. Poignant and hauntingly surreal.
Snape's Talon / Snapes_secret
Author's Response: Wow thanks a lot. =)
Wow, I really like this. Very original, and very deep and meaningful. I loved the way you wrote Severus, he was very well characterised and I loved the painful love you have written that Sarah feels for him.
This fic was great - I really love your style of riting, and you've written this particular peice beautifully. Very heart-felt.
Furry Little Problem (Tonks MNBB)
Author's Response: Thanks so much. =)
Who is Sarah?
Author's Response: She is an OC created by me. The sister of Emmaline Vance, of the advanced gaurd.
Good job with the story. It was really well written, and I think you did a good job on expressing Snape. This was a really good story.
Author's Response: Thanks, great job betaing this fic. You really helped. =) -VL
That was very different from most any fanfic I've ever read. Very original, :D. It was interesting how it was all from the eyes of an OC about whom we really didn't even know very much. And her relationship was definitely a sad one, and very well-written, as was the entire fic.
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you thought it was original as that is my main goal with everything. -VL