Wow, and Ew! Is it me or are the fics getting more surreal as I go through them? I wonder how the students felt as they were acting out this scene, satisfaction, revulsion, who knows. I guess the death eaters deserved what they got though.
Madness indeed. Wow. Though I don't really see this happening in canon, it was really well-written - I could really picture this scene taking place. It was also very sad: the victims' pleas really went to me, as did the idea of the Death Eater's terrible guilt at the sight of the victims. Creepy, very creepy, but magnificent!
oh wow now that is deep and tourturous
you done a great job with the description i could picture it all in my head briliantly you are an amazing writer who always writes deeply
this is one of my favourite from your collection
OMG Seren! *bounces around MNFF*
First of all, this fic was really quite creepy. I love the way you used the masks and I've always found the Tragedy and Comedy masks really creepy, so it was very fitting for this fic. The last couple of paragraphs were pretty "descriptive"/bloody, but the whole idea of the kids' madness was the one that left a more bone-chilling image.
You described the effects of the war on them really well and in so few words. Did I mention it was entirely too short? But that's ok since It seems I have onemore Seren fic waiting for me to read.
Again, the topic was reallty well-handled and I loved the whole mask thing, especially the part with the faces, which was just shocking. I wonder if it's Dark Magic hmmmm?
K, I'll stop rambling, thanks so much for a thought-provoking and entertaining read! *really hopes the site lets me review this time*
This is not good fanfiction, simply because it transcends fanfiction all together, and becomes something greater than intended. You're only fault; (only major fault I should say) is that you don't really seem to be writing about the Harry Potter universe. What you have written is so powerful and deeply moving in an emotional level, and transcends fanfiction. You do this with your description which is hauntingly lovely, yet never overdone. You promise this in the very first lines:
Insanity is ugly. Especially when it's the good guys that are insane.
They circled 'round and 'round the Death Eaters, as vultures descend upon their prey. The sky was an odd shade of iron, where the horizon glowed brightly but the sky was grey.
The first sentence is a great hook crafted almost in the tradition of an essay, but then with surprisingly you switch to an almost Victorian tone seamlessly.
Really to me, the beginning evokes Lord of the Flies. The way you describe them all as children even though they are not children, and in your story do not even act as children. You are not tied down by characterization and while others may decry this as not cannon, or other such critisms, I think that this is what really allows the piece to soar. It’s your own style and your own story and I think very easily could be translated into your own original fanfiction.
The emotional depth of your dialogue is also what makes this piece shine. It is incredibly rare to find an author, original fiction or otherwise that can write emotional dialogue without being trite, but you do it beautifully.
However, I do have a small critism about the end. There is very little comedy in your piece and while I understand you were trying to evoke a bittersweet imagery, with the comedy and tragedy or perhaps a kind of harlequin morbid tragedy, it doesn’t really work as the only mocking as been in the description, and especially because you haven’t mentioned anything remotely “happy” since perhaps the beginning of the story or not at all. This also segways into my confusion about the title itself, and the meaning therin. I know what mood and the message you were trying to achieve, but perhaps if you streamline the themes more. It’s a lovely complicated piece but would be even better I think if instead of just trying to evoke a mood you also interweave a message. (There might have been one I just couldn’t see it.)
All in all fantastic job.
P.S This is going on my favorites list.
Author's Response: However, I do have a small critism about the end. There is very little comedy in your piece and while I understand you were trying to evoke a bittersweet imagery, with the comedy and tragedy or perhaps a kind of harlequin morbid tragedy, it doesn’t really work as the only mocking as been in the description, and especially because you haven’t mentioned anything remotely “happy” since perhaps the beginning of the story or not at all. There's no comedy in the story at all, as there isn't meant to be any. Comedy and Tragedy are merely references to the masks. The only 'comedy', as it were, is the laughter of the masks, which reflect, to a degree, the insanity of the children. It's not meant to be bittersweet or have any sort of humourous twist, even with dark humour. Though I can see where the confusion would come from. I am glad you enjoyed it, though, as I was worried about how people would take a fairly dark fiction that deals with mental instability. Thank you for taking the time to even crit- it does mean a lot and it helps me grow as a writer. - Seren
Very powerful and moving. None of them seem to be acting like they would in the book. Hermione wouldn't be polite to a Death Eater. The way you wrote this made up for that though. I was really enjoying it up until the ending where they ripped mask after mask off. Honestly it would have been interesting if this were the way you have Voldemort end, striking him with each of the many hundreds and hundreds of people he has killed. Good work.
Author's Response: "Very powerful and moving. None of them seem to be acting like they would in the book. Hermione wouldn't be polite to a Death Eater." Well yes, normally she wouldn't, but Hermione in the story is insane. And the reason why I chose the Death Eaters and not Voldemort himself is because Voldemort has almost no, if any at all, humanity left in him. He has no fear, no conscience, and what he has done probably wouldn't affect him if he was faced with it. The DE, on the other hand, are often cowardly, hiding behind their masks, and thus more human, and more likely to show emotion and disgust when forced to see everything they've done all at once. Remember, many have children and families- a child begging would have more of an affect on them then on Voldemort, if they had any at all.
This is an amazing story. It was interesting and very different from a lot of fanfic.
Wow! What a compelling vision you've shared with us... Loved it!
that was intense. but a really interesting concept and horrifyingly justifying to see in my mind. [but another part of me smiles and says "that's how we win the war! with lifelike masks! we'll make the death eaters cry themselves to death!"] but yes. a poetic oneshot.