Just got to a good bit and you stop writing... really????
you have to finish, i think it would be a great time if draco told hermione about his mission whilst their in the room of requirement, it just seems like the right time.... i hope this has helped you and if you feel un-inspired maybe you should re-read or re-watch the harry potter series to give you some ideas
Also, if you would be able to, i think it would be a good idea if you made your chapters slightly longer.
And again i hope you continue with your fic, it's really great and i've waited over a year for the next chapterso i'm really desperate... :(
thanks and good luck
beaflower114
hurry up and write the next chapter!!!
Draco's eyes are really pretty though, good choice!
its only the first chapter and i love it already!
awwww.... what happens next??? please update soon... I really love the Dramoine pairings... and this is such a wonderful story... tnx
Great story, one of my favourites here............ Its been months since you updated.....Please keep writing, there are many people waiting for an update from you on this story.
Please keep writing? I really like this fic! It's really good!
You write better as a 12 yr old than many do in their forties! The only suggestion I have is different verbs for the dialogue, something more interesting than "called" or "exclaimed." Keep writng, you're talented!
Thanks for updating. Really good chapter. Just one thing; what did WE do to deserve such a cliffhanger?? :D
Author's Response: MWAHAHAHAH!
great story so far hope more is coming really soon!
Ahh! update pleasee!
This is pretty goodd!
Word of advice: Try to make Malfoy seem... more malfoy-ish! Add some 'leers' and 'smirks'. maybe even some arched eyebrows haha.
All in all, awesome! lemme know when you updattee!
Why is neville and luna descibed as 'small'? Haha, besides that, this is a good start. (:
omg, i love this chapter! i cant wait til the next one is up.
THANKZ 4 UPDATING!!!!!!!!!!!! OMYCANNONS!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: YOU'RE WELCOME!!!! MORE TO COME BEFORE SUMMER ENDS! I PROMISE!
Hey, cool story so far! Here are some corrections that came to me while I was reading.... Let me know if you don't like these kind of stuff and I'll leave you alone! ;)
"It was only when there was snow on the ground and you could sense Christmas coming did Malfoy not come to his lesson on time"
I think you would say "Only when there was...... did Malfoy not come..." or "It was only wehn ther was snow... that Malfoy didn't come"
Also"
"He looked up slightly, but all Hermione could see in his stormy eyes were confusion"
Wouldn't it be, "all Hermione couls see in his.... eyes WAS confusion"? She is seeing one thing, so it should be singular (was) not plural....
And,
"He won’t be able to conceal a murder to Dumbledore" should be "conceal a murder from"
That's all for now. I 'm supposed to be doing a million and two important stuff and instead I'm writing reviews, so I'm gonna dash! Have a great day!
lil
Author's Response: No, it's okay. Thanks for your help!
You rock!!! Plz reply to me... I've never cotton an authors responce before!
Author's Response: Thanks for the love!
ahhh crazy. im glad u updated! it was awesome despite what happened between the two. at least hermione is not giving up.
Author's Response: Just wait till the next chapter. I'm glad you liked it!
This is my favorite Dramione fic ever!!!!!! Please write more!!!
Author's Response: YAy! Don't worry, there's more to come.
wow this is awesome i cant wait for more i really hope you update soon
Author's Response: Thanks a bunch!
