Reviewer: Stubbornly_appeared
Date: 08/10/07 20:22
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow. Nice n' dark. Really liked how the last lines rhymed in pairs; it didn't feel forced at all. Just one question: I know it can be interpreted however you want, but who did you intend this to be about? Judging from the story banner, I'd guess it's Harry being killed by Voldemort, but....

Author's Response: I intended it to be about Harry (this was written a while ago, before DH) so that is why Harry is on the banner. Readers may picture any character in HP though since I wasn't too specific in the actual poem. Thanks for the review! ^^

Reviewer: MissyQuill
Date: 06/05/07 3:03
Chapter: Chapter 1

Aw€som€ as allways. Frankly, I'm running out of complm€nts to giv€ you.=Sammy

Author's Response: Thank you for all the nice reviews!

Reviewer: lady magician
Date: 04/27/07 1:08
Chapter: Chapter 1

*cries*....this is like anti-me...i go along saying that i love happily ever-afters and then theres a poem that completely ruins it for me...oh well, ill just have to tell you how much i liked it.

This is probably the onl;y review where ill be posting my fav stanza, because this one really just touched me:

That is when you know,
You are going to die.

I dunno, its just so raw, just so there, in your face, absolutely nothing poetic about the line, but it is, because it states facts, states the horrible emotions inside, that harry must now face death in the face, he knows its coming....


Author's Response: Oh my- I'm sorry it wasn't happy. I wanted to get the point across with the title. I'm glad you liked it though!

Reviewer: Morbid_Madness
Date: 04/13/07 15:11
Chapter: Chapter 1

'As the darkness overcomes you, You lose your happily ever after.' The story of my life. *sigh* Oh well, beautiful poem. Gave me strong emtions.

Author's Response: I really like the last few lines, they say the ponit that I wanted to get across to the reader. I'm sure most people could relate to them somehow in their lives, although the unhappy ending to whatever they are thinking of may not be as morbid as this one. Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: nikkiolapotter
Date: 04/11/07 13:32
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow, I loved it! You really don't see a lot of 2nd person narratives in poetic form, and you pulled it off well. You also brought out a good part about Voldemort, that I over look a lot:

He utters a sound,
Barely heard over the screams.

Sometimes when we imagine Voldemort, we think he'll be screaming over everything- but this poem sort of brought out a different side. My only critique is that it could've had a neater metre. Other than that, I loved it!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I like hearing what people think about my poems, and that was an interesting observation you made- about Voldemort muttering instead of screaming- it's something I probably would've overlooked.

Reviewer: Disappearance_26
Date: 04/10/07 22:09
Chapter: Chapter 1

Ay wow! Otro poema realmente impresionante!

Honestly, this poem is rather breathtaking.
The description astounds me! You switch from the soft feeling of relief (perhaps?)

Gentle hands lift you up,
A voice whipsers goodbye.

That is when you know,
You are going to die.

To the strong anguish and anticipation that death causes.

The spell hits its target,
You are thrown off the floor.

Your head starts pounding,
You feel very sore.

Personally, I loved the last two lines. They are a great ending!
Yes... it was sad, but astonishingly good all the same :D You're a true poet!

Keep it up!
~Priz (D26)

Author's Response: Me hace feliz que te gusto (o w/ an accent) la poema. Thank you soooooo much for reviewing. Seriously, it makes me happy that people enjoy reading me poems. I'm a true poet? yey!

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 03/29/07 16:32
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh, wow! Yes, it is sad and rather depressing, but that doesn't make it any worse! In fact, it is really good. (Er, bad adjective, sorry.) I have one nitpicky thing...

You feel very sore.

To me, the word 'very' is rather childish and doesn't put the meaning across as hard as it should. It doesn't really bring your true meaning home. Now, of course, here you didn't have an EXTREME amount of 'meaning' - you just wanted to tell us that the 'you' in this poem was sore. I, however, would still rephrase that line, if only to make it flow better with the mature-ness of the rest of the poem.

*end long rant on the word 'very'*

Anyway! My favorite line would have to be this one:

As the darkness overcomes you,
You lose your happily ever after.

I love the endings to poems. They are always so meaningful, and the all end so perfectly, yours included. Nice job!

Just a suggestion: I don't know why, but I heard somewhere that if you put small excerpt from your poem in the summary, it helps the reader's to see what kind of poem it is, and more will want to read it. :-)

On an ending note...good job, Lalalalatina. (Did I use the right amount of 'la's? :D)


P.S. - Great title, lol!

Author's Response: You have a point- that is not my favorite line either. Thanks for the review! ^_^

Reviewer: LoOnY_for_Harry
Date: 03/29/07 6:53
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow. That was really, really tragic (I know, you warned of that!). The rhythm and rhyme of the poem was perfect. Good work! :)

Author's Response: Thanks!!!!

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