Wow, I had so thought that I had already read this, but alas I had not. This was very good. I liked the continuing flow, and the emphosis on red. It was excellent.

Author's Response: Thank you for your nice review! ^^

I like it! It was a bit deppressing, but not terribly. I liked the ryhming. I love poets that can ryhme and still have serious poems, if I ryhme, it ends up being silly and stupid...

I liked the fact that red was in almost evry stanza, it was great.

I'm not the greatest reviewer, but I liked it! It was very well written, and very emotional!

~Emma

Author's Response: Yey! Another review! I'm glad it was serious, because it is meant to be a serious poem. The incident I wrote about is not something I want to be funny or silly about...

so, this was your first poem here. its extraordinary, i think, for a first one, then, because i always thought my first poem here was lame!

anyway, the way you used red was very descriptive, i could see every scene, every tear, i could feel the rage, and the sorrow, all because you used the color red in all the right ways. your ending is bittersweet, and those kinds are usually the best, because they concluse a long, hard, and depressing (to use your word :-P) journey. I loved it.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading it, thanks for reviewing it, thanks for complimenting it, thanks for liking it. Thanks you!

(I just read your bio - omg, we're so much alike, lol. I never used to write poetry - and I mean never. But then I wrote one and BAM! There's eleven more. And that is just on MNFF! :D Anyways. *end life story* Anyways, you said you wanted to know how to improve your newfound talent - and yes, it is a talent. Well, my only advice would be to just keep writing poems. Every day. Or, if that isn't possible, at least twice a week. It really does help, as does researching other types of poetry. Anyways, onto the real review.)

Ah! I was reading the beginning of this poem, and I was thinking, 'hey, this ain't so depressing', and then - POOF! It got depressing. Wow. Quite a shocker. Even though you warned me. I must pay attention more. Not that I mind depressing things.

I have always noticed how red always showed powerful emotions and things relating to death, as you portrayed expertly here. *bows* My only nitpick is that you spelled "murderer" wrong somewhere. But it wasn't that huge a mistake and I only noticed because I'm just weird like that. :D

This poem has a wonderful beat to it, too. I read it aloud, and not a syllable was out of place that I could hear.

My favorite line:

The beautiful red of the muscle
That is one's loving heart.

I don't know how I can explain it. Those lines are just...perfect.

Note: Your lines are separated by two return spaces, just so you know. It sort of makes this harder to read. Just edit the poem and take out all the tags (they don't have a *), and it'll be back to normal.

~Kate


Author's Response: Thanks for the advice. I know its hard to read... but it was the first poem I submitted and I didn't know while I was editing it that it would turn out like that. If i get around to editing it I'll fix the spelling too. Thanks for all the reviews!

A good poem - better formatting would have helped to solve the overall package though. But still a strong piece.

Author's Response: I know the formatting was bad, I'll make sure that the next time I submit something that it is perfect before I do. Thanks for the review!

It was a very moving poem, well done.

Author's Response: Thanks! YEY!- u were my first review ever!