I think that Aberforth sounds pretty close to hatred here. Is he really that jealous? From what I can remember from the books the brothers don't really seperate until Grindlewald.
Author's Response: I'm gonna be honest here, I don't remember, at all. I don't remember writing this story or what it's about... I never much liked the Dumbledore brothers and have no idea why I wrote this fic... I also don't remember much about them as brothers from the books anymore. I'm more of a Death Eater girl.
I loved the ending it was HILARIOUS! Poor Aberforth though, I feel bad for him.
Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked it.
Poor Aberforth. I liked seeing a piece from his POV - especially his thoughts on Albus were very interesting. They seemed realistic, and with just the right amount of hostility and jealousy to not make Aberforth the enemy but instead to make the reader sympathize. I loved the end, with Maisy. That was really cute!
Author's Response: *smiles* I never really thought the Dumbledore brothers would have gotten along that well. Aberforth would have always been out shined, and that's not fun for anyone. Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
LOL! This was funny. Loved the part where Maisy kicked Albus in the puss. Priceless, that was. Good job (:
Author's Response: Thank you!
Lol. This is a perfect representation of what I imagine Dumbledore being when he was young. Lol. Maisy. I love that.
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
Being a canon nit-picker, I immediately noticed there was no mention of Ariana. If the parents were as enamored with Albus as Aberforth thinks they are, they would have neglected her as well and they would have found comfort in each other.
But obviously you chose to focus on Aberforth and the hurt he felt at his parent's neglect. Certainly you don't mean to say that Aberforth is so self centered that he conveniently forgets that his father is in Azkaban and his mother had to take Albus to the train station alone. That the nanny is there to watch Ariana and that maybe Aberforth also conveniently forgets to remember that he didn't want to go to the train station with Albus and his mother and that he prefers to brood with the goats.
Whatever your intent was, your story could have multiple meanings.
Author's Response: Heh. There's no mention of Ariana because this was written pre-DH. I had no idea that there was an Ariana at the time. And the same for his father being in Azkaban. I really had no idea.
That's such an adorable story! And it does seem like exactly how their relationship would be doesn't it? Younger siblings can nearly always see through the tricks of their older brothers or sisters.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Glad you liked it.
I have never read a Aberfoth or a Dumbledore fic before. But I thought this was awesome story ! :-)
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
I really like this captured moment and the glimpse into Aberforth’s thoughts as the younger brother of a magical protegee. I liked how you stressed Aberforth’s impatience with his family —well, with everyone around him— over the fact that Albus was manipulating them, and they didn’t even seem to notice.
On the note of Albus’s manipulation, I think it was a rather interesting addition. Through-out the series we have seem Albus manipulate situations without people being too aware of what was going in. If anyone would notice this in Albus’s childhood, I think it is very realistic that Aberforth would since it would have the most effect on him. However, I think this point should have been focused on for a bit more, so the reader could place themselves in Aberfoth’s shoes easier.
It’s just not fair, thought eight year old Aberforth Dumbledore.
Small nit-pick here. It should be eight-year-old.
His parents told him that he would get new things when it was his turn to start at Hogwarts, but he knew it was a lie. The simple truth was that Aberforth always got less than Albus.
Very nicely put. The slighted relationship between the brothers really adds to Aberforth’s character. I really like the conviction that “but he knew it was a lie” conveys to the reader. It makes Aberforth seem more intelligent then he’s usually portrayed, a bit more observant. Although, it makes me wonder what gave him this idea...
Children were supposed to be loved unconditionally. But with Albus Dumbledore around it was always easy for adults to forget an insignificant, unintelligent child like Aberforth. A child like him was simply unneeded when there was a shiny star in the family.
Shiny star? I think what you meant was ‘shining star,’ although the more and more I think about it, shiny star sort of makes sense. But I guess it comes down to it simply sounding awkward.
However, I think the loving unconditionally is an interesting point here. Love has always seemed to be an important idea of Albus’s, but for Aberforth to feel deprived of this idea opens several new paths.
Although the goat rivaled for the same position, I was rather fond of the nanny. She was a necessary addition to the one-shot, to give Aberforth’s character a rounded personality and a reason for his parents to leave him home alone. Basically, I just felt that it reiterates the point that wherever Albus was, Aberforth was no more important than the dust on the shelves.
And that was because at the age of eleven, Albus Dumbledore was already becoming a master manipulator. He knew how to play their parents; he got everything he wanted. Aberforth was the only one who could see his brother for what he was–a selfish manipulator.
How you make a wizarding protegee at age eleven to come off as so undermining, leaves me clueless. However, you managed it perfectly.
Aberforth and Masiy had a very special relationship. He knew that he was lucky to have her.
Then later in the one-shot. (Also, in the sentence above, Maisy is misspelled.)
It was true that Maisy was a good friend and he was lucky to have her.
This seemed like an important point, but with it repeated it loses its importance. The reader has already processed it the first time, so when they read it the second, it leaves the ending sort of out there. Personally, however, I thought it was more fitting at the end.
Overall, wonderful one-shot!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for lovely long review. I'm glad you liked the story and thanks for pointing out the errors.
Very very sweet. It was cool to see that Dumbledore wasn't always so wise and kind. Another great fic.
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the fic. Thanks for the review. But I must say, I would never call Dumbledore wise and kind.
Wow! This was an all-around fantastic story. I normally do not like to read Dumbledore in a bad light, but I already know how you feel about him, lol. Aberforth is really believable, and I'm guilty myself of not ever thinking about him or how he dealt with having such an amazing brother. I forgot about the jealousies that would've happened, and you showed them beautifully in this fiction. Great job, Elle!
Author's Response: Thanks, Sarah. I'm glad you liked it. It was a struggle for me to even write a Dumbledore fic, considering how I feel about him. However, it's always nice to get some positive feedback. Thanks so much. *huggles*
This is quite interesting.
For some reason I always thought of Aberforth being the older one, but as there really is no canon evidence for this whatsoever... anyway in your story I could totally feel with Aberforth about his older brother. It must be tough living in the shadow of a genius, especially when this has already started in childhood.
Do you plan a sequel to this one? After all the brothers do seem to get along when they are old, even if they don't have much contact and lead totally different lives. It'd be interesting to follow them through their lives, and this little piece would be a beautiful start of such a series.
Oh, I really liked the goat. I like goats anyway, but this Maisy here seems especially smart... (*wicked grin*)
Author's Response: *smiles* Thanks for the review. I am rather fond of Maisy myself. I really felt that a story with Aberforth needed a goat. It was kind of interesting to write about Dumbledore and his brother. I would imagine that he would be a rather difficult person to grow up with.
As for a sequal, no. I can't stand Dumbledore and don't plan on writing him much further. This story was in response to a challenge on the fourms. And since I always rather liked Aberforth, this little tale was born. But I have no plans to continue it.
Anyway, thanks again for the review.
That was a fun and well thought out story, Elle! I was wondering how you would get yourself through a story about your favorite headmaster, hehe. I had forgotten which prompt you chose but when I read the last section of the story and saw the broken nose, I laughed out loud! You made the character of Aberforth likable too. :-) It was also intertesting (since we have very little to go with) how you showed the relationship between Aberforth and his brother as so volatile(sp?). It put an interesting spin on things and I think (if you could get yourself through it) that a sequel to this would be fun to read. Very impressive my dear! *huggles*
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Nicole.
And you're absolutly right. Getting through a Dumbledore centric story was not an easy task. However, I managed to keep his involvement to a minimum. It was actually kind of fun writing all of Aberforth's bitter thoughts about his brother.
However, I don't know that there would be a sequal. Writing Aberforth was kind of fun, but I don't know of anything else he would have to say regarding his brother. But I am considering another story with him.
Thanks so much for the review. *huggles back*