Aw! That's so sweet. :D This is very well done, Hokey. This is your first ever poem? O.o No fair. *grins* This was really well done, and I admire you for it. Poems with a set form, etc. are harder to do (usually) so kudos to you! I'm pretty sure this poem refers to Neville, right? But the girl? *thinks* Ginny, right - he went to the Yule Ball with Ginny, if I remember right.
He still could not believe that she’d said ‘yes’,
He’d thought this girl he’d to some other lose;
But she had chosen only him of all.
I love that part. It's really sweet.
You know, if only she'd gone because she actually liked him. She said she only did so she could go to the Ball. At least they had fun. Great job!
Author's Response: Teehee! Neville and Ginny were the ones I thought of when writing. I thought they were so cute in the movie, I'm going to ignore the book for that certain part =D I'm *thrilled* that you liked this! Maybe I should try writing poetry more often... =P Thanks for your great review, Kate, it really means a lot to me! *squishes* =)
not bad. it flowed pretty well. over all, good job.
Author's Response: Thanks! =D I'm quite proud as it's my first ever poem =)
Nice, Jen. I was reading your other reviews and will confess that I also concluded you were refering to Neville, but thought of Snape first. I can't imagine those two having much in common. :O
Anyway, the poem was wonderful. I loved the way it flowed. Very good. Slytherin seems to have a lot of wonderful poets.
Author's Response: Teehee, I'm glad you liked it =) This was just written in response to a sudden poetry bunny, and I haven't seen any since then, so... probably no more poetry for me. But I like reading! LOL, no I wouldn't say Severus and Neville have THAT much in common... but I can sorta see what you mean... hm. =P Thanks for reviewing, Elle! *hugs*
That is very cute! I see you are keeping the happy couple a secret. For some reason when I read it at lunch my thought was Snape and Lily; I think I must have read something else that had them in my mind, because now I think it's Neville and Ginny. Anyway, I think it is very well done, and the title ties to the eighth line very nicely. Good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Yay! You are right, Neville and Ginny are the ones I had in mind while writing this. =) I'm happy you liked this, Gina! Thank you for the very kind review, it means a lot to me! *hugs*
Omigosh Déjŕ vu *headdesk* I’d completed forgotten that the poem you asked me to look at was for this challenge…so I was like ‘ooh she has a poem up, lets read!’. Saw my name and was like, ‘ooh…’. :D lmao.
Anyway, fab poem! The rhythm is so clear, I love it!
He wished this girl would join him to the dance,
I love the wording of that line. It’s simple but somewhat archaic, and formal like you’d see at a formal ball between couples. Lovely.
It was his time; so nearly in a trance,
He called her name, determined now to try.
I like the emotion in that – you’ve captured the essence of the guy asking the girl to the ball very well and I could see the scene unfolding in my head.
This is great - *nudges Jen to write more poetry* :p Good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Oooh, thank you so much, Suzie! Lol, yes, you helped me out quite a lot back then and you've encouraged me to keep writing poetry... So right now I've got a Draco poem under construction, and if it works out well, it'll be up soon, too =D Thank you for the praise, really, just getting my very first poem approved on the first try made me overjoyed! =D Thanks again, both for taking the time to read and for dropping me such a nice review! *huggles* *presents thank-you-cookie* <3
That is so cute! I'm not sure exactly which couple this refers to, but I love the shyness and fear the boy shows until he is encouraged by the girl! ;) Good luck with the challenge! GO SLYTHS!! :) Cyns
Author's Response: Thanks, Cheslin! I'm not going to tell you yet which couple it is, we'll see if someone else can figure it out... Anyway, Slytherin for the cup! Yay! =D Thanks for reading and reviewing!