Reviews For One Chance
Reviewer: Pottergurlie
Date: 09/10/08 16:40
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wonderful...simply wonderful...write more please!!!

Reviewer: Viv
Date: 08/07/08 12:00
Chapter: Chapter 1

Such a beautiful story this is! I am very touched by what I just read, which makes it a bit difficult for me to organize my thoughts and write something solid for a review. I could relate a lot to Bill's thoughts and insecurities because of his scars. He knew they made him different, he could feel it, and people could see it and judge him because of it. People are often scared of what they don't know or don't understand and judge others as a defense mechanism. I know the feeling as I am a bit different from others, due to a health condition that I have, and people are, unfortunately, extremely quick to judge you, especially when they don't know you or don't know what you're going through. It hurts sometimes, mostly when you're younger and have to learn how to deal with the gaze of others on you, but you get used to the pain. But deep inside, you can't kid yourself; it always hurts a bit. So that's why I fully understand how hard it must've been for Bill to face his reality and why he couldn't explain to his wife what he was going through. The fear that she might, just like others, not be able to understand...

But I believe that love can be stronger than anything else, and that's why I really love your story. Because you showed us that when we bring down our intern walls and let others reach us, they can do a lot to help us. Bill knew it wouldn't be easy to open up to her, but he took the chance anyway. So I'm glad Fleur gave him another chance, that they gave themselves another chance. Because they're perfect for each other. And we all need somebody to lean on.

You have a nice writing style, it flows well and you make good descriptions too, especially when it comes to emotions. I forgot I was reading a story at some point, it was like I was simply spying on their life through the keyhole of their door house. Usually, I'm not fond of stories written in the first person and in the present tense, and that's what I was thinking when I started to read, but as it went I totally forgot that it was bothering me. So this means you did a great job! Bravo! :)

Reviewer: mrsmcclnt
Date: 07/17/08 15:27
Chapter: Chapter 1

*sniffs*

But you know, I cry because it brings up a lot of things that couples go through these days. I use to be in a relationship like that. He was a good man, I love him still, but we just had a lot more wrong going for us then right. But there as a point with us where was unemployed for a long time (blame the economy and the job market) and I was still working. And he hated being dependant on me. Hated it. So he would do these little outside "jobs" to try and take care of his needs and our child.

I never saw a problem in giving him money when he needed it. But male pride somehow stands in the way. Cause it's very emasculating for a man to not do what he was meant to do on this earth. Wait, let me rephrase that : It's very emasculating for a real man to not do what he was meant to do on this earth.

Just wanted to clarify that for all the Dead beats who might be reading this.

I must say your imagery in this story out does itself. Especially here at the height of the argument:

Outside, the sun is making its magnificent and majestic escape.


I get sense, as Bill was looking at the sunset, that he was wanting to escape with it… to get away from all the nagging and screaming that Fleur had been doing.

Your characterization between the two is very on spot. Especially of Fleur when she talks about "other woman". The fact that she won't bring her up because she feels that no one is better then her is so very like that French tart. Being part Veela, she feels that beauty could not be challenged. So for her to bring it up, is like facing some competiotion that shouldn't be there. And you get a strong sense that her ego just can't handle someone else being prettier or better than her.

And Bill is on point to. Being the older Weasley, he doesn't strike me as mischievous as the Twins or Ron, but not uptight like Percy. So to have him there brooding silently at the edge of the bed as his wife flies into her tirade seem so like him and so like what most men would do.

I also love what you say here when she tells him about the baby:

At first, there was a sudden, light feeling like a bubble rising within me, like the prickle of summer rain on my skin…happiness?


You brought home how deep rooted his depression is through this passage by showing us that he doesn't recognize happiness. Wonderful.

But how you tied it up in the end was great. For a moment there, I thought there as truly "another woman" in the story. But from your explanation, it made sense and made for a great happy ending. I just think that this is a beautiful love story, cause it deals with some real issues that some people (at one point or another) can truly relate too.


I'm glad you wrote this

Reviewer: mspadfoot89
Date: 10/21/07 9:55
Chapter: Chapter 1

Aww, that was so sweet! The plot-line was amazing and I could defiantely see where you came from with this. I really liked how you had Bill have side-effects other the the already-mentioned ones. It made the story seem much more real, and frankly, it seems weird that a scarred face is all he got. Lucky man, he is. I think your characterization of Fleur was spot on. Hoenstly, there was not one flaw I could find in her persona. But the thing I loved most about your writing is your imagery. The way you use words to get us to see what you are thinking is just ... wow! Also, I noticed a little contrast here and there and that was wonderful as well. A nice fic with a dark side, but amazingly good to the heart. Loved it!

~Emma

Reviewer: I_LUV_MOONY
Date: 08/04/07 15:18
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow, awesome job! You really captured them both perfectly. I really don't know what else to say, except that you are as good of an author as you are a banner maker. I love this story. :D

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 03/18/07 9:27
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh, crud. I'm sorry, I double posted that. Sorry!

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 03/18/07 9:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

Just, before I say anything -

There are spaces between the paragraphs in this. If you edit this, copy and paste it into word, and then go to (on the toolbar) Edit, and then down to Find. Click on the tab that says Replace, and replace all the tags (without the *) for a space. That way, everything will be back to normal. But you probably knew that. Oh, and in your summary there a big spaces, too. You can also edit that, but that, unfortunately, needs some of the tags. (again, without the *). But you probably know how to do that. I just wanted to tell you.

Okay, onto the real review...

...painted it with nature’s palette of colours-dark red hues, deep shades of purple and a vivid scarlet. Swathes of pale, milky yellow suffuse the cotton candy clouds.

I think that is a lovely line - such description! You described everything beautifully, and used a new way to describe things, instead of just saying the large, fluffy clouds were pink and yellow from the sun. Instead, you found a new way to say that, and it was extremely interesting.

I have legs that bring me where I want to go, yet I feel crippled; I have eyes that see the world, yet I feel blind; I have ears that hear all the music around, the sound of laughter, yet I feel like I am deaf.

That is just...amazing! You show that he is, pretty much, in perfect health, yet his emotional being is, well, broken. Ya know? I think it is an exceptional way to show how he really feels, instead of point blankly saying, I am broken. Who says that, anyways? So, that was extremely well done. Your writing is superb.

Your description throughout this entire piece is compelling and amazing. Everything was vivid in my mind - and you not only described physical things (i.e. sunsets, clouds, doors,), but you also described emotions, too, and you described with a simple clarity that was also full of descriptive words/phrases. This was a truly amazing piece.

~Kate

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 03/18/07 9:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

Just, before I say anything -

There are spaces between the paragraphs in this. If you edit this, copy and paste it into word, and then go to (on the toolbar) Edit, and then down to Find. Click on the tab that says Replace, and replace all the tags (without the *) for a space. That way, everything will be back to normal. But you probably knew that. Oh, and in your summary there a big spaces, too. You can also edit that, but that, unfortunately, needs some of the tags. (again, without the *). But you probably know how to do that. I just wanted to tell you.

Okay, onto the real review...

...painted it with nature’s palette of colours-dark red hues, deep shades of purple and a vivid scarlet. Swathes of pale, milky yellow suffuse the cotton candy clouds.

I think that is a lovely line - such description! You described everything beautifully, and used a new way to describe things, instead of just saying the large, fluffy clouds were pink and yellow from the sun. Instead, you found a new way to say that, and it was extremely interesting.

I have legs that bring me where I want to go, yet I feel crippled; I have eyes that see the world, yet I feel blind; I have ears that hear all the music around, the sound of laughter, yet I feel like I am deaf.

That is just...amazing! You show that he is, pretty much, in perfect health, yet his emotional being is, well, broken. Ya know? I think it is an exceptional way to show how he really feels, instead of point blankly saying, I am broken. Who says that, anyways? So, that was extremely well done. Your writing is superb.

Your description throughout this entire piece is compelling and amazing. Everything was vivid in my mind - and you not only described physical things (i.e. sunsets, clouds, doors,), but you also described emotions, too, and you described with a simple clarity that was also full of descriptive words/phrases. This was a truly amazing piece.

~Kate

Reviewer: lucilla_pauie
Date: 03/12/07 7:23
Chapter: Chapter 1

"I have legs that bring me where I want to go, yet I feel crippled; I have eyes that see the world, yet I feel blind; I have ears that hear all the music around, the sound of laughter, yet I feel like I am deaf. I have all the physical strength in the world, yet I feel terribly immensely weak. I feel useless; I am living off my wife’s earnings. Pathetic, it is bloody pathetic…"

wow, edwina, this was so heartbreaking. You have captured everything Bill must go through. I never thought about it. poor lad, indeed. And his dilemma and Fleur's rang true as well. I could only imagine how that Weasley stubbornness must have grated on the French flower.

But the ending! Nicely tied together. I don't read much other-pairing fics, but i'd recommend this one. It's not long at all, just right because it was delicious. Not melodramatic, just real. You managed to transfer their feelings into their subconsious narration without mushiness. Great job!

~joanna, a fellow badger and so proud!

Reviewer: writersdd
Date: 03/09/07 9:33
Chapter: Chapter 1

I liked it. Marriage is all about opening your mouth to say what you're feeling and being brave enough to be humble enough to ask for a chance. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I had suspicions if the story would work initially because firstly, this is only my second attempt at a story in the romance category. Your review has reassured me that it might have. :) Thanks again.

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