This poem made me smile. I really liked it!
This had the feel of something out of the eighteeneth century, Mark Twainish, or Oliver. Mostly because of the chopped up words 'ike this, and putting the do at the end of sentences.
I like it, but it causes a few problems it doesn't really fit with the whole use of alarms and electric things.
However I really do have to commend you on your fantabulous use of punchlines. It's a real punch in the gut the last line,a nd really pushes this fic to being funny, or at least suprising.
Nice job.
P.S The rhyming here feels much less forced than in Full Moon's Lament, you really are improving.
-VL
Author's Response: Hey VL!I'm glad you think I'm improving--and that you like my punchline. =P Actually, as for the eighteenth-century feel, it was unintended. ;) But thanks so much for your review and your tips, I really appreciate them!
Cheers,Fenn
This was really funny and your wordplay was excellent. Short and sweet!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your kind review! I really appreciate it--this poem just popped into my head and I couldn't not submit it!~Fenn XD
This was really funny and your wordplay was excellent. Short and sweet!
Author's Response: Ooh, double review! ^pokes other review^
HAhahahahhahah! This is great! I love it! MJ
Author's Response: Hey MJ! I'm so happy you like it--a huge thank you for your heartening review! =)
Awww! This is great. I think I've said this in another review, but you really use rhyme and rhythm well. I admit, I was kind of wondering where this was going, but then I got to the last stanza, and it was really surprising. I ADORE surprise endings.
Author's Response: Hey Schmergo! I'm really glad you like my poem. =) This one just wrote itself, and the ending was actually a surprise for me! Thank you very much for your review!
Very cute poem!! It is simple, yet profound! Really enjoyed it!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! =) I'm glad you like it, it was very fun to write.
Aww, that was cute! The ending is kind of sad, but I couldn't help laughing. I always love stories where wizards are confused about Muggle technology.
What I found really unique about this was the way the words were slightly changed to fit the rhyming scheme. It's so cute. Good job :)
~ Melodie
Author's Response: Hey Melodie! Thanks for reviewing, and I'm really glad you liked my poem! =))Yeah, I agree about the "kind of sad"-ness.... Being a Squib is pretty depressing, but I couldn't help myself. =P
Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Fenn
Hi! This poem was so cute; both simple and very thorough at the same time, if that's possible! =) I enjoyed reading it. Good job!
~Jen
Author's Response: Hey Jen!Thanks so much for your review. *huggles* Haha, I really did have fun with it, it just popped into my mind and wouldn't leave until I'd written it!
Thank you!!
That's really cute! It ryhmed! I like it! I can't rymhm for the life of me.... Cool on a stick.
~Emma
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I had fun writing it, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. =) Thanks for reviewing, it makes my day!
