This was a really funny story. However, it might have been better if you wrote about what Lily said to Sirius when she got back.
haha!! i loved it! (except for the bad language)
lol such a good story
I was laughing my head off! It's just the type of thing Sirius would do. Great job!
i absolutely adore this! wow ;)
this was a good story
1 question though, if Voldy was after james and lily, lily probably wouldn't go to work, would she?
same with james in diagon allley
Author's Response: Well, this would have before they had to go into 'deep' hiding.
i love this fic!!!!
Author's Response: I love that you read it! Thanks! starmom
Leave it to Sirius to find the humor in hary's first prank while simultaniously scaring the bajesus out of Siriur and James. I got quit a few giggles out of it.
Author's Response: Is this the same Jillybeans from Dissendium?? In any case, I'm so glad it gave you the giggles. Me too!
Wow. You should consider making a sequel about Lily's reaction...LOL
Author's Response: Well, if I did, I imagine it would all be in CAPSLOCKS!!! *grin* Glad you liked it!
i love it i was laughing the whole time
Author's Response: Laughter is the desired response, so thank you!
Yay! Monkey baby! 'Well… Harry likes to think he’s hard to find' Lol. First prank. How DID he manage to get into that tree? :)
Author's Response: heh... magic!
Oh my gosh! That is one of the funniest things ever! I was laughing from the first sentence on. It was sweet as well. You bring out some of the not-so-known parts that I think Sirius posesses as well. The pureblood snob, the perv, the nervous drinker, I love it! Anyways, my laugh of the day. Thanks for that, I have a science test in an hour which I haven't studied that well for. This story is probably going to end up being the highlight of the day:D!
Author's Response: I'm so happy to know you enjoyed this and hope it was, indeed, more fun than your science test!
i wanted to see what happened when lily got home!!!!!! could I add on to this? i would like permission to write about what happenes when lily gets home.
ummmm, email me with ur answer and we'll talk. Alex_Sparrow@orlandobloom.ws
Sorry, I wasn't quite finished reviewing. Not sure what happened there.
Sirius was poking through some bushes that appeared to have been recently disturbed.
They seemed a bit chunky to me, and maybe if you reordered the words, it would seem to go more smoothly.
Overall, it was very entertaining, and a pleasure to read!
Author's Response: I have revised these sentences! Thanks for the helpful feedback!
I really liked this fic!
I like the fact that in the very opening sentnces, you grab the reader's attention and even portray a lot of Sirius's personality. By starting off with the search, instead of a little while before that, you make the reader really want to read on, to learn why Sirius is searching, and you insert very characteristic humour at the same time, with the joke about the undergarments.
In this fic, you demonstrate very well the fact that Sirius can't help but be jocund at certain times even in serious or frightening situations.
I was aslo surprised to see the f-word. I think that was just going a little too far. Other four letter words may have been more appropriate even though repetition may have occured.
I also adore how you got all the characters seemingly so true to their canon selves. Their reactions to the situiations seem very real and plausable. Harry was very cute in this fic as well!!
The only down side, is that some of your sentences seem a bit awkward, like
These two sentences could have been improved a bit:
James flew out of the kitchen so quickly that Sirius thought he might have Apparated. He roused himself to follow.
Author's Response: First, thank you so much for your thoughtful comments, Pixichik! I take your point on the 'f-word': that's why it's rated the way it is. And I agree, that is an awkward sentence! I may have to go and revise it!! -starmom
that was really good!!
does ur brother still shed his clothes??; )
Author's Response: Well, probably not in public!
The first two sentences set the story off with a bang, letting us know that this was definitely SIRIUS BLACK we're talking about here. This was very, very cute-- I adore the idea of Harry playing a prank on Sirius and I love James in this story. He's such a great father. (Can't you see Sirius as the stereotypical sleazy Uncle Albert or whatever character who always tries to get his nephew/friend's kid to do dangerous and stupid things?) I must admit, the ending was a 'prise.' I don't normally like Sirius fics, but this story was a great one-- a perfect characterization.
However, I was really shocked by the use of the 'f' word. I know you said there was colourful language, but I mean... that goes beyond colourful and into psychadelic neon eye-burning tie-dye territory. O_O
Still, that aside, great story!
Author's Response: Why, thank you Schmerg!! Yes, can't you see Sirius taking Harry for a ride on the motorbike and telling him 'Okay, now you steer for a while!" Psychedelic neon eye-burning tie-dye territory! Well, this WAS the late 70's you know! ;) Yeah... I think he'd have a mouth on him.
funny, but i wish that there was more!
Author's Response: Thanks, James! There might be more outtakes of Trust and Betrayal (of which this is the first) in the future! starmom