I really enjoyed reading this. Your writing style is flawless and the way you portrayed the characters is exactly how they would act.Ron seems more grown-up, though still with slight anger issues, and Hermione is still the hard-working, annoying girl we all know and love. Well done!
Ah, another brilliant piece by Skipper. This was, hands down, the best Ron/Hermione story I have ever read. You have actually given me new faith in this pairing. Let me explain why.
Well, first of all, your writing style is superb. Itís perfect for reading ó it flows, and it doesnít feel overdone or forced. Itís straight out with a good range of vocabulary, without making it seem overthought or making me have to hit the dictionary. LOL. The way you write is really ... *searches for the right word* ... perfect. I find myself not really analyzing your words like I do with other stories. Itís more that the story comes alive for me, like it does when I am reading a fantastic book, and I stop thinking about the phrasing of sentences altogether. I see whatís happening in my mind rather than seeing the words on the page. Not a lot of authors can paint a picture so truly and easily to break me of my basic beta instincts.
The setting was also quite lovely. Very realistic, very Weasley. I love the places you chose for the story to take place, because they are exactly the kinds of places I would expect these things to place at! LOL. Starting off the story with Ronís anger about Hermione standing him up again immediately pulled me in. Part of it was how well it was written, and the other part was that Ron seemed so human, I could really relate to what he was feeling.
Ronís broom shenanigans after fighting with Hermione was quite familiar. Men really do like to go off after having a row with their other half, and this struck me as such Ron Weasley behavior. If I hadnít been so sad about them fighting I might have laughed. LOL. That part actually made me think of my own parents ó after fighting with my mother, my father will go outside and work in the yard until itís absolutely impossible to see anymore, after which he will reenter the house with a half-rebellious, half-resigned look on his face.
So, actually, all of your dynamics between male and female in this story were fantastic. From Hermione and Ron fighting about time put into work, to Harry admitting that heís more afraid of Ginny than Voldemort, all was completely in line with everything Iíve learned about relationships. It was so realistic! Very cute, very endearing.
As for characterization ó ace. Iíve honestly never seen anyone write Ron and Hermione so well. Itís difficult to write romance between the two because it can so easily become OOC. But Iím just marveling at how well you kept them true to the pair we know in the books, as well as show how theyíve grown and gotten older and have deeper feelings about everything from love to work. I loved how their goals hadnít really changed, but theyíre still plainly older.
My absolutely favorite part was the scene in the restaurant! That was so perfect. Your description of the setting was wonderful; I could see it in my head, just like I like to. I loved that neither Hermione nor Ron knew about the otherís attendance, and again, the dynamics between them ó and their reactions to Harry ó were so perfectly fallible. Ron and Hermioneís conversation was amazing, and I mean that, because it wasnít melodramatic in any way, yet it almost moved me to tears with cuteness and realism.
The ending was completely ... *searches for synonym for amazing* ... remarkable. LOL. *marvels* The fact that you didnít resolve it completely, you know?? I love that it ended on a not-so-happy-ending kind of thing, because seriously, thatís the way these things really work! Ronís final line ó ďJust me.Ē ó made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Perfect.
Yes, so, I loved this story. Obviously. This review hasnít been very constructive, itís more of rambling, gushing fangurling, but sometimes you have to endure these things in life. LOL ... Just so you know, I am reviewing this for the NEWT Romance class on the Forums, in which we were to Find and Share an exemplary key canon pairing story (Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, James/Lily). And I thought, ďHey, hasnít James written something that qualified?Ē I found this, and Iím really happy that I did, because it is now going in my favorites.
So, lovely, fantastic, wonderful job. I am so jealous that Abigail gets to beta-read for you, as I tell her every time we start talking about your writing. LOL.
Good luck with everything, James!
I think I have some reviewers who are being far too kind! Thank you very much, Natasha. The funny thing is that Iím not even a Ron/Hermione shipper. Actually, I donít ship at all. Maybe thatís why this story worked so well. One thing that happens with shippers (in my humble, good for nothing opinion) is that they get way too absorbed in whatever pairing theyíre into. The result is a loss of focus when they write. That leaves the door open for things like OOCness and excessive fluffiness to sneak into their work.
The truth is most relationships are not storybook material. Theyíre hard, hard work. Itís less about those perfect moments, like long walks on the beach, and more about the sacrifices you make along the way, hoping to get to that next moment like that. In this story, that is the crux of Ronís dilemma. Heís frustrated because he wants to see more of Hermione and she is in the middle of what may be the defining moments of her career, and life. So, what does he do? Abandon her at a time when she needs to know heís there for her more than ever (even know sheís never there to say it or show it)? Or, does he hold on, trusting that when the two of them get through all of it, it will be worth it in the end. Thatís what relationships are all about (again, in my opinion).
Okay, that concludes my lecture on relationships. Take all of that with a grain of salt because I am certainly not an expert.
Thanks again, Natasha, for one of the most wonderful reviews I have gotten on a story yet. Itís appreciated more than I can put in words!
Hi, I just discovered mugglenet fan fiction a week ago, and though I've read about 2 dozens stories, yours is the first I've wanted to review. It was great. I loved that you kept the characters true to their essence (or the essence JKR has given them). It was also an easy-read in that both the plot and the prose flowed naturally. Well done!
Only one minor thing that jarred me - Hedgwig would've stayed for a reply from Ron, so Pig wasn't needed.
Looking forward to reading more one-shots from you.
Author's Response: That is an great point about Hedwig. I think you're probably right about that. If I get around to revising this story at some point, that is definitely a change/correction I can easily make without disrupting anything major. Thanks for that pointer. I agree with you. Also, thanks for leaving the review to begin with. I appreciate it very much.
Hey James! Iím finally getting around to reviewing this. I still canít believe how few reviews you have Ė you deserve a lot more!
Like Lex, Iím still astounded at your characterisation. Every time I get a chapter or a one-shot from you, Iím just shocked by Ö everything. Itís clear to me that these people are the same people from JKís world, just older. Ron is still Ron Ė hot-headed, stubborn, impatient, and endearing, and Hermione is still Hermione Ė hardworking, dedicated, stubborn, and a little clueless about emotions. *shakes head in awe* How do you do that?
My other favourite thing about this story is that the readers can sympathise with both charactersí points of view Ė theyíre both valid. Hermione IS the only one at the Ministry who cares about the Summit, but sheís also neglecting Ron. If she doesnít get the Summit to happen, people could die, but if she doesnít start spending time with Ron, then their relationship could die. And Ron has been extremely understanding up to this point. He has every right to feel frustrated and neglected. There isnít just one person in the wrong here.
And heh, no mistakes here! I wonder why? (Not that there were many to begin with!)
Well, I hope your muse finds you soon, James, because I canít wait to see more from you, whether itís more of The Curse or just another fabulous one-shot like this. I definitely wouldnít mind a one-shot about Harry and Ginny! Keep writing, okay?
You know, I'll take two reviews like this one from you and the one you mention from AlexisTaylor in lieu of a higher number of reviews that say much less. Don't get me wrong, I like the good old fashion ego-stroke too. But, it's always nice to get specifics.
I do feel like there are a handful of characters from the HP world that I have a pretty good bead on, Ron and Hermione being two of them. I feel pretty good about Harry also. Ginny, however, that is a different story. I think she is a very hard character to get right as she is exceedingly dynamic (in my opinion). I wouldn't rule out a Harry / Ginny one-shot some day ;).
Why is this story so flawless? I'll have to ask my beta and get back to you. :)
I just did another one-shot for Skele-gro, which I will be submitting soon. Also, I am continually working on chapter four of the curse. Hopefully, I can beat the release of DH. Just kidding. Thanks for the review and for being so much help to me as a beta, JB. I appreciate it very much!
Really good, you deserve the recognition.
Author's Response: Thank you.
Author's Response: Thanks!
I like your story, it is very well written and very believable. i like it, i like a lot :0)
Author's Response: Thank you
This story was so well characterized, I nearly fell off my chair. You've made Ron into a belieably similar, yet grown-up version of himself, while Hermione...well. She hasn't changed, but she's definitely believeable. There was one place where Ron asked a question, but there was a comma there instead. There was also an odd description that needed some dashes, but otherwise, I didn't spot any clear mistakes. Your use of the English language reminded me that these stories are meant to be British in nature.
I love that you've made both characters have valid points of view. So often, arguments aren't simply about one person being wrong, but differing points of view. You wrote them well together, and I loved that.
I could have stood to see a deeper characterization on Harry and Ginny, though. Their own separation seemed odd and without substance or reasoning. I would probably change the pairings of this story to simply Ron/Hermione for that reason. Of course, there's always the possibility of adding a second 'one-shot' to this story explaining Harry/Ginny.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you how wonderful this story is. I love great characterization and drink it up whenever I can!
Thank you so much for leaving the wonderful review! I love all the details that you have given here and I am thrilled that you liked the story. I would like to respond to a couple of things you commented on in your review.
First, I believe I found the error you mention where a comma was used instead of a question mark. I will correct that as soon as I get a moment to do so. Also, I wondered if the odd description that needed dashes was that part about the sunlight chasing the darkness behind the furnace? Does that ring a bell? Perhaps I can rework that section a little bit. At the very least, I can put the dashes in.
As far as Ginny and Harry, yes, their relationship could use more depth, detail, and explanation. I thought that was too large a subject to tackle in a one-shot about Ron and Hermione, however (did I say this was Ron / Hermione and Harry / Ginny? *checking what I did* It should only be Ron / Hermione). I could do another one-shot explaining what in the world has happened with those two. All of these things, as well as a couple of one-shots I have written about an OC of mine, explain the state of world and of certain people before my chaptered story, The Curse, begins. I did half-consciously avoid going into details about Harry and Ginny (though not with the preconceived notion of writing a one-shot about them Ė even though you realizing youíve just planted a seed Ö ha ha!).
Thanks for the great review, AlexisTaylor. I really appreciate the positive feedback as well as the suggestions for improvement.