Very clever, using a line from The Lion King. Um, I know that movie front and back. When Mufasa and Saribi are in the lion's den and Simba tries to wake up Mufasa he says, "Before sunrise he's your son." You were extremly close though. Awsome story!!
I’m here to review your story thoroughly so hold on tight.
First off your subject matter is awesome. As they say the story is only as good as is content so congrats to you for picking a perfect mixture of angst, drama, love, loss and suspense.
But that being said, your story contains certain elements that were hard to believe. Like for instance Hermione would be very unlikely to get pregnant at such a young age even if she was going out with Harry. As we know, she is a very ambitious witch and would not have wanted to get pregnant/marry/start a family at such an early age. Also it is doubtful that a spell (even an ancient one) would have been enough to vanquish Voldemort even with the love’s power combined. If Dumbledore knew that spell why didn’t he use it himself? Surely he had the love of many behind him and his endurance would have been greater then that of Harry’s/ As far as them leaving the wizarding world, that might be ok but why would they give up their magic (if I understand correctly).
I’m so sorry but I’m actually a very dense person and things that are usually obviuse to other I take a long time understanding.
Oh, and I found a few typos.
after they’d gotten pregnant while they were dating
Shouldn’t it be “she” instead of “they” the first time.
And
and the three of them lie there
If I’m not mistaken, shouldn’t it be “lay” there?
Don’t worry, everybody makes these mistakes, I should know. As I’ve made more then my fair share. Putting all the nitpicks aside, I’m really glad I read this. I hope to read more from you. *gives a thumbs up* =Sammy
awwwww this is really sweet. its kinda sad when its telling about how the characters died but its really good!=)
awww!!!!
That was a cute story.=Sammy
Okay, I still want to read the next chapter. I still blank about your story, of course. I don’t really like the idea about Ron’s death, although it must be or better liked that. And I want to know more how Hermione can survive.
wow great i hought it was cute and i wouldnt have expected the soul thing i might have put the soul kill and then a simple avada kedavra but it was great
Wonderful. I loved that you gave baby Ronald Harry's beautiful green eyes. You're writing style is superb. Keep up the good work.
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! the beauty!
Very nice story, please keep writing. Do you think Harry and Hermione would make a good couple? I ask this because I'd like to see your reply.
Author's Response: Well, of course I think they make a good couple! That's why I wrote this story. I'm so glad you like it. To all my reviewers -- thank you so much for your kind words. I have another story in the works right now, so keep your eyes open!
I love this one-shot! Its so sweet! Keep up the good work!
That's my favorite disney movie! and very interesting story.
Wonderufll story!
Nice name too Dragon....
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you got it.
cute! i love that line from lion king too!
MORE MORE MORE
This is really good!!!
**KRISTA**
awwwww! how cute! That dream really freaked me out though. I was all like, "Omigod! Hermione died! Wait....what?" good job! Love that line from Lion King!
wowie. I like. I think that it was favorable for me because I am an ex-H/Hr shipper, so... yeah. I liked it, keep it up, I'm looking out for fics from you in the future.
