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Reviews For Divided We Fall

Name: Mollie Black (Signed) · Date: 08/13/08 13:24 · For: Chapter I: Dreams and Nightmares
Sorry, I know you're going to think I'm crazy for reviewing twice within 10 minutes. But I was looking over the story again, and I realized that I have one little nitpick. Why does Godric have his back turned? It seems kind of strange for him to turn away when there is a wand pointed at him. Was there a reason he got distracted? Could you maybe add that into the story?

Name: Mollie Black (Signed) · Date: 08/13/08 13:15 · For: Chapter I: Dreams and Nightmares
“I have done, oh brave Godric,” he said, his voice scathingly sarcastic as his dark eyes glared with fire at his former friend, “what you, with all of your courage and bravery, feared to do.”

This has be to my favorite line of the entire chapter. It's so simple, yet so powerful.

While I'm not usually a fan of Founder-era fics, this one really caught my eye. You started off with flawless descriptions of the weather, and I was able to form a perfect picture in my mind of water pouring off the castle as the trees swayed in the wind. And then the descriptions of the people...They were perfect, versus the cliche descriptions that usually seem to follow the introductions of the character. Infact, they were so well-written that I would never have guessed you were describing the Founders if I hadn't known you were writing about them.

I also liked how you turned it into a dream at the end. I found myself so caught up in the story that I was shocked when it ended as Helga wokeup.

Excellent chapter, I can't wait to read the rest.


Name: Heiress_of_Insanity_ (Signed) · Date: 10/30/07 15:09 · For: Chapter I: Dreams and Nightmares
My, this story only has one review? *le gasp*

This is, so far, an interesting story. I'm interested in the Founders (honestly, who isn't the slightest bit?), so this is obviously something I'll enjoy! The writing is very rich and wonderful. The twist with Harry and Voldemort appearing in place of Godric and Salazar is VERY interesting indeed! I WILL come back to read the other chappie, ASAP! It's very good!~


Author's Response: Thanks very much, Heiress. I'm glad you're enjoying the fic, though my delays seem to be growing! Oh, the price I put on myself for perfection. rn


Name: spiderwort (Signed) · Date: 03/08/07 16:23 · For: Chapter I: Dreams and Nightmares
I hope you do finish this. The duel for one thing is exciting, and the ending such an interesting twist.

You have some lovely phrasing, especially:

...gasps and hisses of pain escaped the mouths of the two proud, strong men. (I love the rhythm and the sibilance here. It is like poetry.)

"...I will stop what you've become..." (Very Gryffindor.)

I also like that you have Godric throw the first spell. It comes as a surprise to us readers who are so used to the so-called 'bad guy' catch the 'good guy' off guard. It shows Godric to be proud and impulsive, which certainly befits the Founder of Gryffindor House.

My favorite passage comes from Salazar's mouth:

As the wind increased in its volume, so did Salazar’s voice, like he was trying to match the natural element in its strength and power. His voice grew forceful, taking on a border of disdain and disgust. “I have chosen to protect our world, while you would see it soiled with Muggles!” he spat. Salazar’s pale face contorted with barely-suppressed rage as the last word left his mouth, as if he felt he was dirtying his mouth just with the utterance of it. But the rage did not last on his face for long before it took on a characteristic look of calmness and stoicism, though Slytherin could not keep the slight smirk from his face as he continued. “I have done, oh brave Godric,” he said, his voice scathingly sarcastic as his dark eyes glared with fire at his former friend, “what you, with all of your courage and bravery, feared to do.”

I can feel the righteousness in his voice, and the venom. And having his tone rise with the wind is very imagine.


Author's Response: Thanks, spiderwort, for the review. I definitely plan on continuing and finishing this story, especially considering it is all planned out to the very end.

I'm glad you liked that particular passage with Salazar, too. He was such fun to write, and the conflict he has with Godric and vice versa was a very enjoyable writing experience for me.

Again, thank you for the review, and the next chapter (I hope) will be coming within the next week or two.


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