MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Missing You

Name: My Wicked Quill (Signed) · Date: 09/02/09 21:20 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
a world without harry potter... it;s just depressing, isn't it? i had the urge to cry the entire time. please, i love ur writting, so please make a sequel a where he comes back... he has to come back

Name: Vbird (Signed) · Date: 05/10/08 12:18 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
that was a realy great chapter! I don't know much about submiting stories but it realy sucks that you can't get the site to let you put the rest up.

Name: Vbird (Signed) · Date: 05/10/08 12:18 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
that was a realy great chapter! I don't know much about submiting stories but it realy sucks that you can't get the site to let you put the rest up.

Name: altanna (Signed) · Date: 02/22/08 13:04 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
This was very nice. I wish there was more. :-)

Name: SP4RT4N (Signed) · Date: 02/04/08 6:05 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
wow. i'm kinda sad you didn't pursue this story further. it seems like it could have been fun, maybe with harry coming back and regaling them with tales of adventure, or enlisting his old friends' help to finish the fight.

Name: siriuslysirius92 (Signed) · Date: 01/24/08 13:26 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
thats was terrific...plz plz update....

Name: A_Pink_lady (Signed) · Date: 04/28/07 16:50 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
I read this before and i still love it...i have tears in my eyes. I love the detail in this and the flashback at the beginning was fantastic! The way Ginny acts and thinks is just brilliant. I love it.

Name: Thom (Signed) · Date: 04/04/07 8:27 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
I've read the rest of the story you sent me, great one there :D . Will you write an epilouge? I hope so. Thx for the mail again :) .

Name: Gin_Drinka (Signed) · Date: 03/18/07 20:19 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
Hello! I read the rest of the story! It was great! Such a sweet ending! They are the ultimate definition of adorable! I hope you'll write more stories!

Name: music_is_magic (Signed) · Date: 03/13/07 2:34 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
wow! I love it! It is well written, intriguing and most of all, romantic. I love the bit where they are playing Quidditch...Good Job!

Name: Ginny Wilson (Signed) · Date: 03/05/07 23:11 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
This is The Best Story

Name: hpfreak101 (Signed) · Date: 03/03/07 9:54 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
This was really touching. I loved how you conveyed how Ginny will only every love Harry. Fantastic job.

Name: Gin_Drinka (Signed) · Date: 03/02/07 18:51 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
OH, I'm so sorry you couldn't get your story up. That must have been frustrating. Well, just so you know, I love your story and think you write very well. I am e-mailing you straigt away!

Name: neomatrixj2 (Signed) · Date: 03/02/07 5:28 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
i've read this before, what did you change to have it be recently updated? You know this could be a longer story instead of a one shot, I'd like to see that.

Author's Response: I actually had three chapter on this story up out of four before a tech problem happened. I was told to delete then resubmit all the chapters; but then the site wouldn't let me do that one at a time. Long drawn out story behind that...but if you'd like to read the rest of the story to the end email me at glitrgirl123@aol.com subject HARRY POTTER I'd be happy to give you the story in whole.

Name: Visceral Love (Signed) · Date: 03/01/07 22:19 · For: Chapter 1: On the Roof
Missing You lives up to itís title. This is perhaps the most eloquent and important thing any one person can say about it. It is a heavy piece of fanfiction, not in the fact that its subject matter presents deep probing psychological questions, but in that it is very concentrated with constant conversations so probing and quietly dramatic itís almost hard to read in one sitting. Ironically enough as readers we are often wary of things that have little physical action or dramatic plot twists for the fear of being bored, but if anything the opposite is the case. The conversation is so intense and every moment in pivotal to the story we feel as if every moment is more important than the last. While this allows the reader to be focused it also can began to wear the reader down mentally and begin to become over stimulated and few the story as unrealistic. Not because the story actually is unrealistic, if you look at each line individually there is very little that could be counted as clichť or melodramatic, but because it completely glosses over the quite moments in peoples lives. However, though these may be significant faults the author, Wilbur, makes no silly mistakes and is very direct in what she is trying to convey, which in my opinion was the bittersweet taste of loss.
The reader has no doubt about what they should be feeling, and in most cases are feeling. In particular the scene with the OCC was particularly poignant. Rarely do you see such powerful male OCCís in a fanfiction so centered around cannon characters. Rick has some of the most insightful lines in the entire piece and acts as a kind of magnifying glass for the points that we may have missed. Unfortunately however the same cannot be said for her characterization of Harry Potter, the whole relationship was too smooth to easy. Of course when viewed through the eyes of someone missing something they will gloss over the faults of their partner, but I believe that if the author truly wants to give the full impact and make us sympathize with Ginny we should see things how they really were, not how she wishes they were. In my mind I just canít imagine Harry Potter and Ginny flirting with such seductive ease.
There also a few faults stylistically. She begins the story discussing how Ginny comes up on the roof not to think about Harry but just to think and then the entire story is about how Ginny cannot give up Harry Potter. Grammatically the author has the easy cadence of long sentences that donít become tangled but at times are warily sneaking over the barbed wire fence into the jail cells of run-ons. Most of the time this seems to be a simple error of the grammatical style not matching the almost minimalist plot. For example:
Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Hermione, and Ginny were all playing a game of Quidditch which had gotten progressively competitive because both Harry and Ginny were in, what seemed like, a constant battle for the Snitch.

For example the what seemed like is superfluous in retrospect as the reader would much rather find out a couple seconds later whatís going on than already know that they are really not in a conversation five-seconds in.

Overall this concentrated piece is a good first attempt and I look foreword to seeing how Wilbur grows and time goes on.

Author's Response: wow...i've never been given such a long and thought out review. thank-you for all your compliments. I know there are quite a few grammatical and syntax errors; but that is expected without having a beta-reader. I've finished the story, but have given up trying to get it all up on this site. There have been multiple accidental deletings on Mugglenet's side. I must be honest, after this review I'm afraid to send in the next chapter for fear of not being able to live up to your compliments and/or falling deeper into the errors you've pointed out. I just have to remind myself that this is one of my favorite stories I've ever written and take constructive critism as a way to improve. Thank-you again for caring enough to leave a review.

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