Wow. That was amazing. I always enjoy seeing Harry written as a dark character, and you did a great job.
I loved the definitions and how you wove Snape’s warning throughout the fic. And the part where Harry is forced to see what he’s becoming was written wonderfully. It had no scar on it’s forehead, but a huge, gaping one on it’s cheek as though the flesh was decaying while the body was still alive. I have such a creepy mental picture of that – it’s a great use of imagery.
But my favorite part was the ending. It was chilling, and just perfect.
Awesome one-shot, and you definitely deserved the win. =)
Author's Response: Thank you! And I was super excited to be nominated for a QSQ!
Power corrupts, indeed. This story is very powerful. It’s fitting that Harry’s arrogance and dislike of Snape would be his downfall in the end, even as his own power is. If only he’d been more willing to learn…if only he’d trusted more. And yet, that which is good in him – his love, his willingness to give himself to the fight against Voldemort and ultimately to give up his own life to stop the evil within him – those things are here, too. It’s very nice to see a story that has both the good and bad parts of Harry in it. Too often in fanfic we only see one or the other.
It looks like you might have edited this story a few times since you posted it – that’s usually what causes the extra spaces between paragraphs. I actually had to copy the story into word and cut those out to read comfortably, so you might want to see about fixing that.
What an interesting take on the Deathly Hallows. I think I might like them better than the canon equivalents. The Dark is very literal in this story, and it works quite well.
Author's Response: Thanks! I had hoped someone from class would pick my story to review :) Yeah, I hate it when those gappy things happen. I'll do what you suggested and bring it into word.
Wow! That was gorgeously written. I don't normally read dark/angsty, but I wanted to review one of your stories in return for the amazing banner you made me. And I must say that I actually might start reading it more now! I love how you chose to explore the potential for evil in all people, even our "hero". I also love the title you chose, how it is metaphorical, yet also slightly literal by the very end of your story. Congrats on the first place, you deserved it!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! :D And I'm glad you liked the banner.
This was amazing. It was just...so...depressing, I suppose. First of all, I love the quote in the very beginning, the one from Snape that is repeated throughout the story. I love it because it's darkly poetic, but most of all it's SO Snape-like. I knew at once it was Snape who had said it; it reminded me so much of what he said during Harry's first Potions lesson, only a lot more powerful.
But this was so sad, also. The entire time I just wanted to literally reach out and grab Harry, and actually pull him back to the right side. It's just horrible to think that he could become such a thing, but at the same time it's completely plausible. It's what happened to Voldemort himself...and it all just comes back to the quote, about how you just have to be careful on that line between Light and Dark. I absolutely loved this!
Author's Response: Thank you! I was recently watching some of the behind the scenes of OotP stuff, and David Yates even said himself that Harry could go either way. I found that sort of interesting. Maybe he should read my fic ;)
Look at what can happen just by browsing around the Badger Bulletin! I found your interview about this piece and thought I’d take a look at it. I am so glad I did.
I adore how you used the quote at the beginning as the underlying theme for your entire piece. The quote itself was beautiful and so angst and dark and the fact that you used it as the backdrop for the piece helped hold the mood and keep the feeling alive.
I really enjoyed how you explored the darkness of the mind. You were right: your metaphor of the deathly hallows made your piece truly original. That was one of my favorite aspects. The sinister feeling of the piece was further exemplified by the fact that Harry narrated through the entire ordeal. The change of character in our favorite hero was actually quite frightening.
Definitely one of my favorite dark/angst pieces, and truly beautiful, in a dark way. It’ll be in my favorites!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!! :)
Wow. That was truly incredible. Harry's thought process clearly displays that he is becoming mad, if not already. It's chilling, the way he thinks and acts, how cold he is.
I adored the poetic writing, and that paragraph about how the deathly hallows are created with mankind was simply beautiful.
The last sentence affected me very strongly. I dunno why, but it was just so powerful; Harry has given up, everything is over and done with. It was very sad, yet so beautiful!
Author's Response: Thank you. And I'm glad you liked your banner :)
THIS GAVE ME CHILLS
Author's Response: LOL. Thank you ;)
That was amazing! It was very powerful and moving. You got your point across clearly but the subject itself is just full of questions. There's so much to wonder about. Even now, I'm still running this idea through my mind, asking myself questions I don't have the answer to. I loved how you ended it with a question! It just adds to the wondering!
I also loved how you put the definitions in it. They provided a sort of comic relief.
Overall, this is an amazing piece. You deserved first place! Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thank you :D And I'm glad you like your banner.
Wow. I absolutely loved that. It was incredibly powerful. I was blown away. Excellent job.
Author's Response: Thank you.
Wow. I absolutely loved that. It was incredibly powerful. I was blown away. Excellent job.
Author's Response: Thank you :)
Oh, Stacey, that was utter wonderfulness! There's absolutely no question in my mind how this one-shot was able to snag the first place win!
Your idea on what the deathly hallows were was very unique, and extremely believable as well. The first-person point of view also works very well in this story, especially since the focus is on the mind and whatnot.
I'd have to say that one of my favourite parts through the whole thing (other than the ending, but I'll get to that later) was the comments about the grammatical definitions, etc. of "deathly" and "hallows." It gave a bit of comic relief to such a dark piece, and really worked extremely well.
And lastly, the ending. Stacey, it was the BEST part of the story, in my opinion. Truly chilling and visual and . . . Oh, there just aren't words to describe the skill and feeling in those ending paragraphs, especially that final line, those last three words. It is just utter brilliance!
I applaud you once again on an excellent and well-written story, and again, congratulations on the first place win. You definitely deserved it!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I have to say that I'm pretty proud of "Fallen" ::pets it:: And, yeah, I thought throwing in the defintions would be both educational and funny ;)
This was amazing.
The first paragraph about the Deathly Hallows caught my attention immediately. As I read on, I became even more curious about what Snape was talking about. Harry seems so cold and distant, after all that has happened. I never imagined that Harry would go over to the Dark Arts, but reading this made it seem so realistic.
The idea that the Deathly Hallows are part of the mind is so fascinating. Where did you get it from? It fits so perfectly with the story. I can see why it won first place.
Author's Response: To be honest, I have no idea where it came from. When I was reading the prompts, I imediately knew I wanted to make them a metaphor and something intangible. And then I was thinking of things for Snape to say to Harry in my other story "The History of Those We Thought We Knew" and came up with that, and thought it worked better here. :)
Wow. This story is very dark but very good. It actually gave me chills. Great job.
Author's Response: Thank you. A lot of people have said that it gave them chills, actually. I don't know whether to be proud, or freaked out that I managed to scare people ;)
OOh, Stacey, this is quite a deep and intriguing entry. Apparently the Deathly Hallows are a dark and dangerous place . . . wow. You should have won in that prompt, if not the whole contest. Very good job.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I was really excited when I found out that I'd won.
Lol, that was superb. I never thought that Harry would commit suicide until now, but you've proven the fact that he too, can be suicidal. This fic really deserved the first place. Hats off! Anyway, I really hope that this won't really be the 'Deathly Hallows' and that Harry won't really die in Book 7.
I know that I owed my review long ago, but time... I had barely any time. My ICSEs were killing me. I had to wait for my vacations to start, so that I could give you a satisfactory review. Once again, a really, really good story!
Author's Response: I don't expect reviews for banners, so don't feel bad you took long or something. Plus, I understand about schoolwork keeping you busy - I'm final level Graphic Design student and have about six projects I'm working on right now. I, too, hope that the Deathly Hallows are just a place and Harry makes it through book seven. I just wanted to do something different. Thanks for the review :)
" I am not great at giving reviews, but I will do my best.
First of all, I love how in this story, you are incorperating your own theories for future books. It is a very original way to get your theories out and make them known.
"He would, of course, know what it’s like to be lost… to have fallen. But I was young, naive, headstrong… even delusional, you could say."
I love this quote from your story because it shows your writing style so clearly. I love the rythem that you have managed to put into your writing by using grammatical tools. Much more efficient and understandable than Shakesperean meter.
I lvoe your writing and I would love to hear more from you. Thank you for the banner too!
Author's Response: Thank you! And you're welcome for the banner :)
That, my dear, was stunning. You truly captured Harry's voice and it was all so believable that I found myself ... shocked and stunned into silence while I read it. You have a gift, Stacey.
The repetition, especially, of "I should have listened to him" relays the urgency, I suppose, and quiet yet intense feelings Harry is experiencing. He is still young in body, but it's almost as if he has an alter-ego. On one hand, he still retains the ability to feel (to a certain extent and that's fading fast) and on the other hand, he is turning into a monster.
Really, the entire story takes place in Harry's head except for occasional excursions into Memory Lane, ah... the battle scenes and so forth. But what *really* stood out to me, personally, was the description of Harry finding himself through that shield "portkey." That was amazing, you know, because I could picture that creature, that *Harry* distinctly and it wasn't a pretty sight. *giggles* But it also reminded me of "Pan's Labyrinth." Have you seen "Pan's Labyrinth?" It's a very interesting movie. Graphic and subtitled in English because it is spoken in Spanish, but a really great movie nonetheless. It has a character, a toad, that seems like this alter-ego Harry you've created. Quite amazing.
I loved how you described Harry's transformations, though. His skin mutation to Nagini's skin type was just incredible. I wonder if the same thing happened to Salazar Slytherin? *grins*
Really a probing, intellectual approach to the deathly hallows, a dark and deep place we should all try to stay clear of, eh?
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I have not yet seen "Pans Labyrinth", but I want to. That's so interesting that "Fallen" reminds you of it. Now I will definitely I have to go check it out. It looks beautifully done; I wanted to go into film, so that stuff always interests me. Anyway, thank you for the lengthy review :)
a belated review... so sorry for not being on time, but i was also thinking of my own story at the time when you swept me away with this tale! :) very deep and philosophical, and clever! to make the DH a spiritual aspect instead of a physical object!
this story also succeeded to make my hate for Snape diminish, wwhich is quite a feat. ^_^ Kudos to you, stacey, and am so proud of you for waving the Badgers' Banner!
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you. And congrats to you, too. Didn't you get second place for one of them? Go Puffs! Yeah, I didn't want to "follow the crowd" so to speak and make them a physical object or place, and I guess it paid off. Thanks again!
that is intense. i can see why you won the challenge. great and incredibly intense one-shot.
Author's Response: Thank you :)
Wow! That was so dark yet so beautifullky written! Excellent job with this story. Congrats on first place! It certainly deserved it.
Author's Response: Thank you! I was very excited to find out that I won. First time for a first place :)