MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Viv (Signed) · Date: 10/03/07 21:25 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Ahh Suzie! I'm trying to find the right word to define your story and yet the only one I can think of is beautiful. But you know, it's beautiful in a sad way, you read it and it grabs you deep inside. There are a lot of emotions involved and you communicate them well to the readers.

They understood that time was precious, time was short but communication and love were essential. They held on tight, afraid to let go and not wishing to let go.

I love the message you're sending, that love and hope are the best tools people have against hard times and darker days. We all need to hang on to something or someone...

The wind rattled the thin windowpanes ominously, as if pounding on the glass for entry. They had been wary for a few days now, jumpy as hell, turning at the slightest rustle, shivering with the slightest chill.

I like the beginning of your story, like if you're warning us that what we're about to read will be intense. It sets the mood right away. Also, it feels like even Mother Nature knows that an inner storm is raging inside the hearts of the characters. She accompanies them through the war.

I like the couple Remus/Tonks a lot and I think that you portrayed them justly. Even if we know that in canon, they didn't survive the war, this story reassures us that their love was strong and that they were in this together, no matter what could happen. Great job dear! :D

Name: Hokey (Signed) · Date: 08/15/07 8:20 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Aaaaw, Suzie. You’ve done it again - this was beautiful! *teary-eyed*

I think this story really shows what love can do to people, and affect their actions. Tonks felt stronger and more secure with Remus; she did better at work and coped better with the war when she knew she had someone to come home to every day. Remus, on the other hand, felt overprotective of the one he loved and did what he could to keep her safe, as this was the most important to him (at least he thought so at first). Anyway, this you showed brilliantly! I mean, you didn’t have to spell it out; you could just feel it. =)

I love all the pretty sayings you used…The wind rattled the thin windowpanes ominously, as if pounding on the glass for entry… many threads between the best of couples were threatening to snap… the minute hand slipping forwards to meet the hour… I don’t know, I just loved those sentences =D My very favourite, though, was the sad, For tomorrow, or one day, there may be no one left to hold… That nearly made me cry! It’s so true, in the Potterverse as well as in the real world, but not many seem to keep that in mind every day (probably because it’s too discomforting =( ). It’s like that song by Ronan Keating… “If tomorrow never comes” *sniffle*

I also liked that you used Tonks hair to show how she was feeling, and emphasised the fact that it changes with her mood. A very nice touch. =)

Overall: really great job, dear! Heck, you even made me all teary! =) Well done!!

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 05/16/07 17:29 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Suzie! I had no idea you wrote a Remus/Tonks story. Honestly, I love Tonks, but I don’t read many stories about her with Remus. She’s such a fun character. I like to see her standing on her own. However, this was really great. I loved the emotions you portrayed, especially with the mention of her hair color. I think that speaks a lot about her love for Remus.

The wind rattled the thin windowpanes ominously, as if pounding on the glass for entry. They had been wary for a few days now, jumpy as hell, turning at the slightest rustle, shivering with the slightest chill.

This is such an excellent beginning. You set the scene wonderfully. After reading the first few lines, the reader knows that this takes place during a dark and dangerous time. The wind and rain outside make a perfect backdrop for Tonks conversation with Remus.

fierce, intense love battling with loss and anger and pride.

I loved this little excerpt. The amount of emotion and feeling in these few words is amazing. Very well done, Suzie.

Also, the last two paragraphs were perfect. They thoroughly showed the amount of love between Remus and Tonks. The ending also leaves the reader with a sense of hope in a dark time. It was kind of like, love can beat the odds. I hope that’s true for this adorable couple.

I have one tiny nitpick: They found you anyway Remus. There should be a comma before Remus.

Anyway, this story was really amazing. Well done, Suzie.

Author's Response: ELLABELLA :D Oooh thanks for the SPEW review! *squishes*

As you’ve probably gathered I don’t usually write romance very much coz I’m crap at it, but this was for the Sneaky Cupid and as Cyns likes RL/NT I thought I’d give it a go. :D I’ve always thought that Tonks’ hair colour change was a nice touch in canon representing both her unhappiness in the war and towards her personal life. I think that it would be a big change in her – i.e. not being able to metamorphose, so is a good way to describe how she would be without Remus.

Heehee. I’m glad you like the intro! I love description! && thanks for the nitpick, I think Andrea pointed it out in the acceptance letter for this fic but I never got round to changing it. *hides*

Anyway, thanks so much for the review1 You rock! :D *huggles* ~Suzie

Name: MissPurplePen (Signed) · Date: 04/13/07 15:50 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Agh! That was lovely! Sorry this took so long (the payment for that fantabulous banner you made me); I've been so busy lately.

But really, I loved this. It was short and sweet, but so good! You have so much talent for writing; everything flows so nicely, and your descriptions (like the one of the grime on the window) are great.

I really loved the mentions of what's going on on the outside, in the 'ordinary' street, while Tonks and Remus are fighting inside. It was so ironic and just SO good for the story.

And I definitely adored the ending! When they finally made up...*squee!* I love Remus/Tonks, so this was just awesome. Great work!

Author's Response: *squee* Thank you Mariah! :D

I'm glad you like this story. I'm glad you liked the descriptions - I love describing little things in a scene, as well as the main events! And the part about the ordinary street was an idea that I quite liked too.

So yay! Thanks for the review! *huggles the ship RL/NT* ~Suzie

Name: HPwizzzard (Signed) · Date: 03/07/07 21:23 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Another story that popped up here without my noticing! And better yet, another good one. I like how you've conradicted the usual 'happy ending' we see with canon ships. I have nothing against happiness, but for people with 'skeletons in the closet' like Remus and Tonks have, it's going take time. You have struck the balence between fluff and angst commonly known as flangst- a silly word for a hard thing to pull off.

That said, a little more descripsion of the setting wouldn't be out of place. Also, there's something not quite right about this sentence that I can't put my finger on:
They held on tight, afraid to let go and not wishing to let go. (For tomorrow, or one day, there may be no one left to hold…)

I'd replace the word wishing with 'wanting'. You don't need those parentheses, and if you can eliminate one of the uses of "let go", that would help too.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Flangst? Not heard of that one before! :D Sounds rather odd but fun. :p I’ve nothing against happy endings either, but you’re right about this one. It would be so unrealistic for a couple such as Remus and Tonks to zap their problems away and have everything morph into happiness. These things take time, and certainly at this point with the war and all the troubles, it seems quite far away.

Thanks for the picks. Looking back, I think I would omit one of the ‘let go’ s as well. :) The parenthesis though, I rather like – it’s something that I often use in my writing to vary things occasionally.

Thanks for the helpful comments! ~Suzie

Name: Cheshlin (Signed) · Date: 03/02/07 23:14 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Thank you so much for writing this story for me, and dedicating it to me here on the main site! I think you did a wonderful job on showing the love and spark that Remus and Tonks show when they are together. Sorry it took me so long to get over here and review. I haven't had much time for reading stories, though I had read this one. :) Cyns

Author's Response: Ack! Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond! I really enjoyed writing this fic – you were a fab Sneaky Cupid! :p *huggles* Thanks for reviewing!

~Suzie <3

Name: kumydabookworm (Signed) · Date: 03/01/07 0:44 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Wow. You really captured the angsty aspect of the Remus/Tonks dynamic. Along with that, though, and equally as important, you DIDN'T make them overly dramatic or OOC. You kept their personalities intact and we could see the conflict between them. It was quite nice.

Remus remains ever-protective, the silly fool. Tonks is as passionate about him as ever, even in her anger. I also like that Remus is the one to comfort - he does seem to be that sort of character, and he's comforted others in canon as well.

I rather like your use of the detail of Tonk's hair, but I'd like to see a few more details as well. How about a clumsy moment in the middle of her rant where Remus catches her, or how about Remus showing a sign of being a werewolf - a bite he inflicted upon himself etc.?

You not only need to show their personalities but their physical characteristics as well. While the romance dynamics are coming across perfectly - the desperation, the angst, the love - I think this could be improved with a bit more description of the setting or of the characters themselves.

I'm not sure how I feel about the ending paragraph turning into a sort of moral. I used to do that with my own stories, and I'm not sure how effective it is. It definitely pulled me out of the "moment" I was in while in the story, but I didn't HATE it...so just something for you to think about. :)

Great work. Good luck in the challenge!


Author's Response: Wow! Thanks for the wonderful review Kumy! This is the first time I’ve ever really written a story focussed closely on romance, and I had no idea how it would turn out. I’m glad you thought they weren’t OOC, I tried to be careful not to make them overly angsty, fluffy or dramatic, as usually that’s what I don’t like reading…

I’m glad you liked the part about Tonks’ hair; I really liked that idea in canon – where she could no longer metamorphose during that ‘bad patch’ of her life. So I wanted to build on that a bit. I’m not sure about having Remus ‘catch her’ though – it’s not the sort of idea that I usually like reading and wherever I’ve seen it it always looks a bit unrealistic.

I don’t know why I moved away from setting descriptions in this fic. In most of my stories, I describe the atmosphere rather thoroughly but I thought that for this one I’d focus on the two of them more. I find that I get caught up in the dialogue, and what each character feels about the situation, so the setting just kind of slipped away.

Ahh…the ‘moral ending’ – well to be honest, I wasn’t sure how to end this one. This was one of my more ‘spur of the moment fics’ and I didn’t want to lengthen it into a chaptered or anything so I thought I’d end it there. The only way I could think of was by rounding it off. I’m a big fan of ‘closed’ endings, something with more of a meaning ya’know? :p

Anyway, thanks for the review and all the helpful comments! And sorry it’s taken me so long to get round to responding. ~Suzie

Name: MissSammiekins (Signed) · Date: 02/19/07 20:26 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
*coughs* it's supposed to say
"Much love,
but I guess something happened. :(
Sorry for the double reviewing dealio.

Author's Response: Don't worry I do that all the time! Well actually, most of the time I'm the one who mucks up her italics tags so that the entire page gets italicised. *hides*

Name: lucilla_pauie (Signed) · Date: 02/19/07 20:25 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
hi suzie. i trusted you, and yes, you made me believe that with love, there is hope, haha! wonderfully eloquent, this one. i liked to see tonks in her most vulnerable, not very hardy but delicate, in remus' arms.

Author's Response: Um...thanks :) ~Suzie

Name: MissSammiekins (Signed) · Date: 02/19/07 20:24 · For: Trust me, with love there is hope
Aww, Suzie, this is amazing! *tear* It's so fluffly, yet so...not...the perfect combination. I've always thought Remus and Tonks were cute together (well, since HBP anyways), but you just took it to a whole new level.
How do you come up with amazing plot bunnies like these? Do they, like, attack you when you're sleeping or something? Sheesh.
:) What I mean to say in my usual babbling, is that this is an amazing story, and it had better win some sort of prize!

Author's Response: Sammie! Thanks for the review! *hugs* I don't usually do 'fluff' at all, but thought I'd give it a go...this is my first RL/NT story too...hmmm *hides*

As for plot bunnies, sometimes I just sit down with a teeny idea and just type. Muahahaha
~Suzie xx

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