Reviews For The Extra Mile
Reviewer: Phia Phoenix
Date: 07/14/07 2:28
Chapter: The Extra Mile

For all the poem format is completely out, I'd have to give this a thumbs out. James's part was good, except the bit about "she hates my guts", which didn't seem to fit with the romantic form of the rest of his "verse". I loved how in the course of the poem, Lily changed her mind, and how she stated things that she knew weren't true (I can't remember what that's called... intentional irony or something?) to give the reader the idea that she's fighting a losing battle with herself. Very much like she'd in love but doesn't know it! You're very good at JP/LE, you know! I'll be looking forward to more!

Reviewer: lily princess
Date: 07/10/07 23:37
Chapter: The Extra Mile

it was adorable!!

Reviewer: LilykinsLove
Date: 07/06/07 13:41
Chapter: The Extra Mile

He’s an egotistical jerk,
Or at least, that’s how I see it.
He…he…
Oh, God! What am I saying?

I love that bit! I love it when people portray Lily in denial. :D Very good job. There were several spots where the rythm got off a bit, like:

I’m falling head over heels for her,
But there is one problem.
She won’t even look at me,
Much less give me a chance.
She hates my guts, and
She stated it clearly,
When I once asked her for a dance.

It's kind of awkward, that bit. But overall- great job! I can't wait to read more of your writing!!
Emma

Reviewer: Lalalalatina
Date: 07/02/07 16:36
Chapter: The Extra Mile

Very sweet poem. I liked how some lines rhymed but not so many. The poem flowed nicely but was rough in this one part:

She hates my guts, and
She stated it clearly,
When I once asked her for a dance.


That midle line was pretty short and kind of wrecked the flow, but that's just my opinion.

Also, it'd be nice if you indicated when the POV changes with italics or something, because although it is quite obvious (from saying he to she) it won't make the reader *think* so much. I really liked the ending by the way, it was a nice way to end the poem. Excellent job. ^^

Reviewer: Heiress_of_Insanity_
Date: 04/29/07 21:34
Chapter: The Extra Mile

Was that Draco and Ginny? Even if I don't like the ship all that much, this was a superfabulous poem! No typos that I could see, and I really loved the rhyme scheme.

He’s an egotistical jerk,
Or at least, that’s how I see it.
He…he…
Oh, God! What am I saying?


That part gets me. I find it funny, 'specially the 'Oh, God! What am I saying?' 10/10!~

Monty

PS: Thanks for the pertiful banner--meloves!

Reviewer: babekitty_92
Date: 04/10/07 10:38
Chapter: The Extra Mile

OMG! I just realised you were my secret santa!! Whoo!!!! Yay, well I loved it, it's so cute! Wel done, Hanni!

Author's Response: LOL I did write this for your secret santa, and thought I would post it on MNFF. LOL

Reviewer: AurorGirl101
Date: 03/12/07 15:02
Chapter: The Extra Mile

AWWW!!! That was so sweet!! I really really liked that. I loved how you did both POV's, classic yet cute!!

AurorGirl101 of the Knights of the Turnip Table

Reviewer: blacsilver_serpent
Date: 03/06/07 0:13
Chapter: The Extra Mile

I thought it was short and sweet, just like you mentioned in the summary. After I finished reading the poem, I had an impression that it was a very light read, though that by no means that has no depth. I am just saying that you managed to capture the poem and set it on paper in a very light mood, even with the emotions involved in it. I think you did a good job in setting the mood of the poem.
That's what I think, I am no expert on poetry though. Hope you catch my drift. : )

Reviewer: MissyQuill
Date: 02/27/07 0:33
Chapter: The Extra Mile

O h My God, that was soooooo sweeeeeet.I think I'm in love...withthe poem ... no offence.-Sammy

Author's Response: Awwh. Thanks so much! :)

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 02/19/07 20:37
Chapter: The Extra Mile

Ooh! Very sweet! I love how you changed the POV - very effective.

Suggestion: put an excerpt of this in the summary. It makes more people want to read.

My favorite part:
So what if he likes me enough,
To hex one of his best friends?
So what if I like him,
Just a little, tiny bit?


I love how Lily at first tries to deny that she has any feelings for James. Very...Lily-ish. (Yeah. Like that's a word.)

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates

Author's Response: OMG! I love that poem. Tiger, tiger, burning bright, in the forests of the night... Thanks so much! --Hanni

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