Reviews For Just a Dream
Reviewer: remilupin
Date: 06/04/07 19:00
Chapter: Chapter 1

The story is really interesting. Most of it flows really well, particularly the action-scenes - it was very easy for me to visualize the events taking place. (as I can't write these types of scenes to save my life, I'm envious.)
IMHO, the second para can be re-written to really suck readers in (it's too bland in comparison to the rest of your prose, and the word 'day' is repeated too often), and the ending can be made tighter/shorter. Again, just IMHO.....
Thanks for sharing! I look forward to reading more of your writings!

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Under the Southern Cross by FloreatCastellum 1st-2nd Years
Rolf Scamander has ventured to a remote archipelago to study a rare and exotic...
MOMENTS OF BLISS by moonymaniac 6th-7th Years
Remus Lupin is a man with a tragic past, filled with pain, suffering and sorrow...
The Walpurgis School for Superior Children by Kerichi 3rd-5th Years
Draco Malfoy wanted to stay home, but he was sent to school instead. Lucius...
Today Will Be Better, I Swear! by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
'I'm going to miss you, Mr Ollivander,' said Luna, approaching the old man.'And...
Honestly by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
Seven months after leaving Hogwarts, James Potter is fighting for the Order...