MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Decadent Love

Name: GinnyRULES (Signed) · Date: 03/28/07 17:14 · For: Chapter 1
Aww, that was beautiful! I think you're a great poet. The rhyming was original and kept me interested.

My favorite part was this one:
"I wonder, if I were to die tomorrow,
Which of us would bear the heaviest sorrow?"

I can feel the emotion. In fact you're really good at capturing the way characters would act. Harry's nobleness (is that a word?) and determination.

I'm sorry I don't have much concrit to offer. I'm not so good at reviews...

~ Melodie

Name: BeautifulDreamer07 (Signed) · Date: 03/21/07 20:55 · For: Chapter 1
*sigh* That was very beautiful! You really conveyed alot of emotion into that poem. I especially liked the last stanza. Very well written! I must say though...I don't much like the idea of Harry and Ginny splitting up. *cries* That's my OTP you're messing up there. ;). hehe. Just kidding. Very well done! Kudos to you!

Author's Response:
=D thanks, sorry I'm breaking up your OTP though.


Name: no_day_but_today (Signed) · Date: 03/20/07 14:18 · For: Chapter 1
First off, I'd like to say how much respect I have for people that can right poetry in rhyme. I usually give up and end up doing free verse.
I think that the start of the poem is weaker than your in end. It somehow seems to come out as kind of amateurish compared to the end. Or it might be a compliment to the finish. After the first three stanzas the poem just starts to grab you and flow easily. You created an imagery that really works and help the reader know exactly what Harry is feeling.
One line that really didn't work for me in the start was, "Where’s the electricity that surged through our every kiss?" I don't know exactly what it is. It might be the pentameter or maybe it has something to do with the rhyme. It just seems to make sense with the plot of the poem but not the scheme for some reason.
I loved how you brought up things that can be accociated with physical injury and pain to bring out what Harry is going through at that moment, "blood-red sky" "lights turn to black and blue." It helps the imagery and mood so much more.
As well as the winter theme that seems to be running through, "Even in the bitter winter", "icicle-ornamented clouds", "frozen in time and space". It helps push along the lonliness and cold feeling. Winter has always been used to exemply a time that is barren and hopeless. It helps show that sadness that Harry is feeling.
One line that stood out to me while I was reading this was, "And it flows, on icicle-ornamented clouds." It is such and unusual way to express this, but somehow I know exactly what you are talking about and the image that it creates.
My favorite stanza though was the last one:
I'll stop this train,
We'll all be frozen in time and space.
All will halt.
Time will erase all regrets,
And we’ll be nothing more than silhouettes.

It kind of reminds me of the poem Ode on a Grecian Urn with the desire to freeze the happy and more innocent times. Also the line about silhouettes. It is such a great way to end off. I love that line.
The stanza also shows the progression that Harry's character has gone thorugh since that first time on the Hogwarts Express. It is such a relateable feeling, wanting to go back to a happier time during a time of depression and living in that one happy time.
Nice job!

Author's Response: Wow, thanks for the outstanding review! *thinks over enerything you said* and I'm glad you liked my clouds! hehe


Name: Celestial Melody (Signed) · Date: 03/18/07 18:29 · For: Chapter 1
Alyssa, this was really incredible. I'm not great shakes at poetry dissection (or at writing it) but I actually this very much.

I'm not fond of the AA, the AB, the ABC rhyme scheme you used in the first three stanzas because it felt a little stilted to me, like you were following a pattern, but as the poem progressed, you fell into this swinging rhythm that just *rolls* off the tongue.

The stanza beginning with "The courageous and brave" and ending with "the foremost prow" is perhaps my favorite in the poem. "RIght here, right now," just displays an urgency, a *realness* that comes through the words of your poem ... exquisitely.

Too, I loved the line: "I wonder, if I were to die tomorrow, which of us would bear the heaviest sorrow?" Ah, it's beautiful. It's captivating and enchanting. I-I love it. Marvelous job.

This poem is wonderful. I don't know if I've ever read any Harry Potter fanfiction poem that I've enjoyed more than this.


Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!
I'm happy you enjoyed it.

Name: tc015 (Signed) · Date: 03/16/07 20:54 · For: Chapter 1
I loved this poem. It has a nice flow to it. While there isn't an exact meter, it still has a good, continuous flow. The rhyme is very nicely used. It doesn't have an exact pattern, but you can still sense its presence there. Its use really reflects Harry's state of mind at the time; confused and lost. It went well with the theme of the poem.

This poem shows Harry's sadness, his fear and his hope. It is a very powerful poem that really makes you think when you read it.

We drift apart,
Can’t help ourselves.
All light fades to black-blue,
And it flows, on icicle-ornamented clouds
From tense to tense, from present to past.

I loved this stanza. The imagery in there is beautiful. The picture of clouds and light fits very well with the poem. The last line shows how powerful this poem is. It really has a nice, deep meaning. It shows how their relationship is fading away.

Overall, this was amazing poem. I can't wait to read more from you.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review, tis very insightful. Glad you liked it.


Name: rachelprue (Anonymous) · Date: 03/08/07 6:58 · For: Chapter 1
The months dragged on.
I can hear the battlefield’s shrieking cry,
It shares the hue of the blood-red sky.

That line really stuck out with me. That an the prominent scar one. You clearly are talented in many areas.

Just a wee criticism is you need to watch your rhythm and how many syllables you put into each line.

But other wise really moving, and wholly enjoyable.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, and yeah, i think the syllables and length of the lines became uneven when I changed it a bit, and I neglected to go back and try to even it all out again. =/ Probly should have done that.


Name: Meryl Montgomery (Signed) · Date: 03/07/07 23:20 · For: Chapter 1
Great job! This was an easy and enjoyable read. Harry's reflection on the war and his relationship with Ginny seems accurate and keeps us interested. Your dictation is lovely, and I love your rhyming sceme - it's compelling and refreshing.

The times, classic romance, was definitely there,
As prominent as my scar, both cursed and blessing.

I love the comparisson here. It's really original.

Overall, I think you did a magnificent job. Poetry has never been in my own repertoire, but I'm definitely going to read any more poems you have.

Thanks for the read, and for the lovely banner you've made me. =D

Author's Response: Thanks! and you're welcome for the banner

Name: Heiress_of_Insanity_ (Signed) · Date: 03/03/07 19:47 · For: Chapter 1
Interesting rhyme sceme...I like it! Unfortunatley, I'm going to have to dock a few points for breaking Harry/Ginny. Jk! 10/10!~H_o_I_

Author's Response: Hehe, yeah, Harry/Ginny isn't a favorite of mine, really. They don't stay together long when I'm in charge. =D. Thanks for reviewing!


Name: FenrirG (Signed) · Date: 02/25/07 1:52 · For: Chapter 1
Ohhh, I really like this Pixichik!

You certainly are multitalented! =) Bannermaking, poetry, you can do it all!
I really like your poetry style, it's very distinct and refreshing. A sad but beautiful poem... I love the last few stanzas, especially.

Great job! =))

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked it.

Name: cocomaloco (Signed) · Date: 02/18/07 18:19 · For: Chapter 1
its amazing, the best poem ive read so far. you portray Harry's feelings really well and reading it you can feel what you are trying to show of his emotions.

Author's Response: Thankyou, and thanks for taking the time to review..

Name: nikkiolapotter (Signed) · Date: 02/16/07 19:20 · For: Chapter 1
Great job, Alyssa! I loved how you played around with the different rhyming patterns. However, some of the stanzas had an uneven metre, but other than that, wonderful job!

My favorite stanza:

The courageous and brave,
The cunning and sly,
The tender hearted,
And the sharp witted;
They all gather here, in this line,
This line right here, right now.
At the front of the battle, the foremost prow.


And, thanks for the banner! It's beautious!


Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Next time I'll spend a little more time on the metre.. /Alyssa

Name: lady magician (Signed) · Date: 02/16/07 9:17 · For: Chapter 1
and im gonna give you a nice one:-)

This had a really..out-there, hym scheme, if you know what i mean, it was like a different type every stanza or two. But the stoy you told was really sad.

My favorite stanza was the first one

Where was this essential piece we must have missed?
Where’s the electricity that surged through our every kiss?
Let this not lead to our demise.
Shield all from the enemies’ wicked eyes

:-) Wonderful (-:

Author's Response: Thank you! And thanks for reviewing! /Alyssa

Name: Ron x Hermione (Signed) · Date: 02/15/07 16:27 · For: Chapter 1
Wow Alyssa! That was... Amazing!

I really liked the steady rythym and flow that you had going on. I'm not a poet myself, but reading this one wants me to become a better one!

I liked how everything rhymed, and the words that you used. You had some nice vocabulary things in this lovely poem.

Since you said that this was from Harry's POV, I would just like to say that I can totally see him saying every single thign that you've said here. LOVE IT! You did a great job in portraying his character and keepin him in tune.

I wonder, if I were to die tomorrow,
Which of us would bear the heaviest sorrow?
I miss what we had before
I miss what was glittering and new.
I miss the euphoric bliss I felt
Just from holding you.

Wow, that's really deep. Once again, I can totally feel Harry's pain, and can see him saying all of these things. I love those questiosn that you've asked. It makes you think.

Time will erase all regrets,
And we’ll be nothing more than silhouettes.

Ooh, I don't know why, (well, I do, because you wrote it) but I loved this line! It's the last line, and it's kind of a cliffie ending, if you know what I mean. I mean, we know what happens, but it still just sounds... mysterious.

Ooh, Ooh, the title was a great one as well.

I absolutely loved it, Alyssa! I will keep it on my favorites list! Thanks for the great read! And my two GORGEOUS banners!

~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: Thanks, Lindsey! I usually don't think I'm any good at writing Harry in character, I'm glad you thought he was! And the last line started out as a second line, but after I had finished, I thought it was a better closing, so I wrote a stanza around it. Thanks for reviewing! /Alyssa

Name: MsFiggy (Signed) · Date: 02/15/07 13:59 · For: Chapter 1
I don't often read the poems here, but I felt a pull to read this one. Nicely done. Delightfully sad. I love how it flows and the rhyming is done well. I often find rhyming poems distract me from the feeling that is conveyed, but here it really works. sorry my review is not as good as the poem, but I wanted to say something. I appreciate your work.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you felt 'pulled' to read it! and Thanks for reviewing. /Alyssa

Name: Euphrates (Signed) · Date: 02/15/07 8:12 · For: Chapter 1

I love this poem. Wow. It is so beautiful, and your rhyming was great. There was an steady beat, too.

Time will erase all regrets,
And we’ll be nothing more than silhouettes.

Oh, lord, I always love the ends of poems, but this one was very well done. It left me with a sense of regret (well, duh, it says that) and longing, and love that was...no longer is...okay, I'll stop being all soppy now...

But...but...they can't break up! Not because of Voldemort...his war. No fair. *pouts*

I just reread this and...wow. There's just so much emotion in this - I can't believe it. Longing, sorrow, regret (ha ha...I said that already), passion, loss, and I'm sure much, much more...

*wishes she could write as good as you*

*rushes off to try*

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates

Author's Response: Eeeee *is so happy this was finally validated AND theres reviews!!* Aww, thankyou soo much! KATE!! Don't even kid me, you write soo much better than I do! Thanks for reviewing. /Alyssa

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