MuggleNet Fan Fiction
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Reviews For Behind Destiny

Name: Binka Fudge (Signed) · Date: 02/09/08 15:14 · For: Windows
I know I've read this before, but I couldn't resist reading it through again when I came across it. I love the different perspectives of the same world. Although to each of them the world is a different place. It's really well written and even though we know the four women from descriptions, the omittion of their names lends something a little less familiar, it's as if we're seeing them as strangers on an equal footing as opposed to the characters we actually know. Hope some of that made sense. Keep writing.

Name: Tria Teressell Black (Signed) · Date: 12/03/07 3:24 · For: Windows
I like this. I think the way you wrote this was really good, and the descriptions of each of the four women were great.

Name: Maddie Lupin (Signed) · Date: 12/02/07 14:44 · For: Windows
Well written. I enjoyed it!

Name: Pissenoffanis (Anonymous) · Date: 11/29/07 2:47 · For: Windows
Wonderful contrasts! Your use of the different windows with their emotions was very striking. Poor Lily... And I felt some pity for Petunia and Narcissa. Lovely story.

Name: lovely_witch (Signed) · Date: 11/24/07 11:55 · For: Windows
This is a lovely story. I really like that you didn't say who each woman is, it's fun to guess.

Name: mishnyc2002 (Signed) · Date: 11/24/07 1:27 · For: Windows
Darn... I just realized that this is it! No more chapters. Wouldhave liked to have just a little bit more :)

Name: mishnyc2002 (Signed) · Date: 11/24/07 1:23 · For: Windows
Wow. A great beginning! An interesting angle that really draws you in. This has definately got my attention and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 11/23/07 22:09 · For: Windows
I really enjoyed seeing those four vignettes. Everyone's different perspectives were great! I liked how it was easy to tell who was who, yet you didn't name the women, making them all so different, but connected by the window image. I didn't think Lily was too angsty or Alice too shallow, btw. Great one-shot!

Name: Dissendio (Signed) · Date: 11/23/07 11:15 · For: Windows
That was really good! I immensely enjoyed it!Was the last one Neville and his mother by any chance? If so than Neville's hair is actually mouse but no matter. I loved it!

Name: Dissendio (Signed) · Date: 11/23/07 11:09 · For: Windows
That was really good! I immensely enjoyed it!Was the last one Neville and his mother by any chance? If so than Neville's hair is actually mouse but no matter. I loved it!

Name: MissyQuill (Signed) · Date: 11/22/07 3:41 · For: Windows
Ok, lets see of I got it right.

The first is Lily, the second Narcissa, the third Patunia and the fourth Alice. Tell me, am I right?=Sammy

Author's Response: Yep!

Name: Dory_the_Fishie (Signed) · Date: 11/21/07 13:57 · For: Windows
I really like the idea for this story – it’s interesting and intriguing and allows for a lot of creativity. However, I don’t feel it was executed as well as perhaps it could have been.

Overall, I think maybe you could have done a lot more. The whole thing seems rather short and unfinished. We could have been given more to think about, you know? More to really connect it all together as one cohesive piece instead of four shorter, somewhat disconnected pieces. I think the idea that all four of them are at windows is wonderful, and a great way to bring them all together while still telling their individual stories. But I think maybe it would have been nice to go more with the window idea, really latch onto it; you did that well, I think, with Lily and Alice, but not as much with Narcissa and Petunia.

Some of the language felt choppy to me as well. I think that if you had just added more longer and complex sentences, thus lengthening the piece as a whole, then the shorter sentences would have been complemented (and somewhat counterbalanced). A lot of just felt simple. Also, some of the descriptions seemed a bit cliché to me, such as ‘raven-black hair,’ and others seemed plain.

I liked the four women that you chose to write about. They each have such interesting stories for the time period. They also all have a rather sad quality to them, especially in what we know happened to each of them. I like that you sort of portrayed Alice as very happy and content – it really emphasizes the tragedy of what happened to her. And the fact that they all have young sons adds something extra to their stories. I think it might’ve been interesting to more fully connect their sons, so as to further the connection between the mothers. You could have hinted more to the future, I guess is what I’m thinking.

On the whole, I think this fic has a great idea behind it (oh, and a lovely title as well!), but I also think it needs a bit more work to really make it excellent.

Author's Response: The story behind the title is kind of funny, actually.. you know those fridge magnets? The ones with the words on them? I found "behind" and "destiny" on the floor. Hah, and that's how the title was born.rnrnThanks so much for your criticism! As much as I love positive reviews, it's always refreshing when some constructive criticism comes my way.

Name: simon_scowl777 (Signed) · Date: 11/21/07 2:12 · For: Windows
Have you ever had someone come up to you and when you ask them what they think about something, all they say is 'Interesting'? Happens all the time. And when they say it, you can tell they don't really like it, just don't get it, or just don't care.

All I can say is: interesting.

I mean, the emotions- BAM! The descriptions- BAM! The story- not so much of a BAM.

It jumps all over the place for me. First of all, we have Lily, who just pretty much whines. Then there's someone and I don't even know who they are. Spontaneously, enter Petunia, who is just... blah. And then Alice, who's all happy even though she has every reason not to be.

And what, my dear, does each section have to do with the others?

Oh, yes, I get it, character exploration. My bad, of course.

*flourishing bow*

If I may say so, my lady.

Name: mock_turtle (Signed) · Date: 11/20/07 22:11 · For: Windows


Name: Striped Candycane (Signed) · Date: 11/20/07 12:52 · For: Windows
I LOVE this. Putting each woman in a similar position really brings out their different points of views. Each woman is characterised brilliantly and uniquely. In fact, this entire one-shot is much like a window: it brings one short yet poignant glance at a person, at a life…

Name: MagicalMaddie331 (Signed) · Date: 11/19/07 18:40 · For: Windows
This is so simple and so original but I really love it, it's very meaningful. It's a bit sad but very sweet. Good job!

Name: Sdogg (Signed) · Date: 02/13/07 20:24 · For: Windows
Huh, i can't seem to figure out who the last one is. Hmmm..... Oh well. Anyways, i thought that it was brilliantly written, except for the fact that it didn't have much of a plot. I would probably rate it around 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks! I appreciate your reviews. I guess it didn't have much plot, you're right. For my next one I'll try. Thanks again! P.S: The last one was Alice

Name: ilovetheweasleys_7 (Signed) · Date: 02/10/07 0:08 · For: Windows
Lily, Narcissa, Petunia, Alice? Great story, keep writing.

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you like it. (You're right, by the way)

Name: AprilPotter (Signed) · Date: 02/09/07 15:07 · For: Windows
I absolutely LOVED it! It was just so touching. I really liked how you didn't give their names, but we readers could still tell who you were talking about anways!

Author's Response: :) My friend came in as I was writing it, and she asked me why I hadn't out names into it. I'm not sure why I didn't... I guess it's just more compatible in my mind.

Name: HJPCATI (Signed) · Date: 02/09/07 13:51 · For: Windows
Wow, this is nothing short of incredible. You gave every woman such a vivd picture. The way I saw it, Lily knew how to be happy, and did enjoy the good things in her life but was having trouble focusing on happiness when such dark things surrounded her. Narcissa has been dulled out but she's somewhat lost as to why since she sees no wrong in what her family and "friends" are doing for the most part. Petunia has turned her back on her own happiness and has become cold to a lot of things that seemed like they once warmed her. Alice takes pleasure in everything she can and is happy and in love with everything good that's left around her. She isn't oblivious to the bleakness of things ut she's doing her best to find the last bit of warmth and spread it.
Am I right?

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you. I wasn't really sure how the characters would all come together in the end... it just sort of came to me, in a way. I'm really glad you liked it. :)

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