Hehe...nice one ;)
Dean & Lavender...great pair if you ask me.
Going in my favorites,
Narcibell Hermina
CUTE
Author's Response: Thank you
i all ways thought those Gryffindor boys had game
Author's Response: LOL, thanks!
I love it! It was so nice, and now I see from Lavendar's point of view of what Ron did to her leaving her alone. It kinda makes me mad at Ron! Oh well. Great story, though!
Author's Response: :)
I love it! It was so nice, and now I see from Lavendar's point of view of what Ron did to her leaving her alone. It kinda makes me mad at Ron! Oh well. Great story, though!
Author's Response: Thank you!
that is soo awesome. now that i think about it, lavender and dean would make a great pair.. i think you've got something there...
Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate the comment!
Amanda, I didn't realise YOU wrote this lovely gem! I had read it ages ago, long before I knew who you were, and coming back to it now ... Gosh, it's fabulous! Lavender is so real to me here, as is Dean, both people that can be hard to sympathise with when reading the books from Harry's POV. That's hard to do, I think, but you pulled it off fabulously!
Lavender was sweet, yet forceful, and I loved that she kissed Dean first. That seems completely in character. And Dean is just wonderful. *loves* And whoa ... *fans self* Guh. Yeah, that part was amazing, too. This is definitely one of my favourites!
Author's Response: Oh! you just made my day, my dear! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! *HUGS*
Awww I can tottaly picture Dean and Lavender together!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it.
Aw, this one was so sad, but definitely believable...I can see this happening. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Wow. Just.. wow.
This is amazing. I really think that you have captured the emotions of two people, one of which who has loved the other for a long time, that have just been dumped by their partner. And I just love how you have captured Lavender's feelings for Dean and yet intertwined her insecurites as well. And she is so in character, and so is Dean. We haven't seen that much of Dean, but from what we have seen with Ginny, I think that he in in character, no question about it.
The only thing that I would suggest is that I don't think that if it was that soon after a breakup that they would go quite that far. But you have some artistic license (is that what they call it for authors?) with these two not being shown much, so it is still wonderful.
Thanks,
Pepper Imp
Author's Response: I didn't really see this happening right after the mutual Weasley break-ups. I saw it as later on in the springtime, after Harry and Ginny have gotten together. Granted, that is still soon, but long enough for the two to be stewing over past relationships and interest in the other.
I loved how you threw them together using the rebound relationship idea, because we don't often see Dean and Lavendar speaking before that, and I think that this provides the perfect catapult into this scene of a romance.
Now, I really like the way you put them into a very physical relationship. Lavendar and Dean have both been very physical with their old flames Ron and Ginny, and I think this would carry over into a VERY physical relationship if they ever got together, as they do in this story.
However, while I like the one night of passion approach with this pair, I'm not so sure about the sudden, "I love you." While that happens (accidentally) in many of these intense nights, I don't think two people coming off a breakup would be so free with those loaded words.
At the same time, you could play it as though they were trying to forget about their relationship by rushing into a new one...so I suppose it's your choice. I just happen to think Lavendar may have rushed, but Dean would definitely not - that's just my interpretation of the characters.
To end, I think that I would love to see a little bit of humor in this story. Rushed romance is bound to be a bit awkward somewhere, right? :P I think a nickname Lavender calls him makes Dean turn red or stop for a moment, or Dean's wearing strange underwear...*giggles*
I definitely think this kind of rushing (I'm assuming since you did the, "I love you's," that's what you want to portray) is recipe for disaster. I would be interested in a sequel to see if this pair burns out or finds a deeper bond. :D
Kumy
P.S. A Few Corrected Errors:
“I do,” Dean continued, “love you, that is.”
“I’ve never felt so loved,” whispered Lavender.
“Oh God, I’m so sorry, Lav.”
Author's Response: Thank you for all 3 attempt to write a good review (I'm assuming that was the issue, I often have troubles with being logged out myself...) Although, I do have to say that misplaced humor, for the sake of humor doesn't really fit here. Not that that wouldn't be funny in a different story, but I just don't see it's place here. But thank you for the ideas and the corrections.
I loved how you threw them together using the rebound relationship idea, because we don't often see Dean and Lavendar speaking before that, and I think that this provides the perfect catapult into this scene of a romance.
Now, I really like the way you put them into a very physical relationship. Lavendar and Dean have both been very physical with their old flames Ron and Ginny, and I think this would carry over into a VERY physical relationship if they ever got together, as they do in this story.
However, while I like the one night of passion approach with this pair, I'm not so sure about the sudden, "I love you." While that happens (accidentally) in many of these intense nights >.
Author's Response: :)
I loved how you threw them together using the rebound relationship idea, because we don't often see Dean and Lavendar speaking before that, and I think that this provides the perfect catapult into this scene of a romance.
Now, I really like the way you put them into a very physical relationship. Lavendar and Dean have both been very physical with their old flames Ron and Ginny, and I think this would carry over into a VERY physical relationship if they ever got together, as they do in this story.
However, while I like the one night of passion approach with this pair, I'm not so sure about the sudden, "I love you." While that happens (accidentally) in many of these intense nights >.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think you're one of the first to get just how physical some relationships can be. Yes, I think the "I love you"s were a little quick, but I think they honestly have had feelings for each other for a long time.
I like this story, but there's one sentence that makes me chortle a little: 'Lavender seductively pulled Dean’s belt loose.' I don't think 'seductively' is the right word. At this point, there's not too much seduction going on between them, if she's pulling his pants off. Also, when there's a love scene between a guy and a girl, you should use words like 'he' and 'she' , 'her' and 'his', etc. instead of using the names so much.
So, basically, the love scene should be a little more believeable, flow a little smoother. Really think about it when you're writing one.
I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, I'm just offering up constructive criticism.
Good luck, and sorry again if I've offended you.
Author's Response: Thank you for your opinions. I am a true believer in concrit. It is also my right to defend my writing. The love scene was supposed to be slightly awkward, because, the situation is slightly awkward. The lack of pronouns is intentional as well. Thank you for reading and responding. I appreciate it!
AWW...
Author's Response: :) thank you!
I haven't read your fic yet, but at first glance, your summary sounds like
ron and ginny will be finding comfort in each other. i'm fine with people writing what they want, but i'm sure that's not how you wanted your summary to be read. you may want to clarify it.
Author's Response: I will take your comments into consideration, thank you.
