I’m going to have to agree with the previous reviewer here - not because I hate the story (I don’t - it’s quite interesting) but because Goyle does seem a bit dimmer than dim. I know he’s not brilliant, and I know people are illiterate (in fact, it’s surprising how horridly somebody who’s presumably read the Potter books can write, come to think of it, so I won’t complain about Goyle’s writing.) It’s more the way he thinks and acts - even a relatively stupid person should have been able to work out perhaps a touch more about what was happening to them. So unless they do have some sort of a learning disorder or mental handicap (and wouldn’t Snape, as their Head of House, be expected to notice and do something about it?) a little more intelligence might be called for. Or maybe I’m being overly optimistic about the human race.
Snape, on the other hand, was brilliant. I like the way he sends his messages - it’s subtle and twisty and makes perfect sense. On the other hand, I’m a bit disappointed in him as a teacher. He’s not teaching the boys anything by leaving them under the Imperius Curse, and he’s using an Unforgivable to further his own ends. It’s not exactly out of character, but it isn’t good, and I’d like to smack him for it. I’m sure it says something about my ethics that I can forgive him killing Dumbledore, but not failing to teach those under his care.
I didn’t see any problems grammatically, so I won’t nit-pick at you there. I liked the non-verbal use of Imperio. That only makes sense, if somebody can control somebody else using the curse from a distance, they shouldn’t have to hear the spoken words. And I like the thought of them responding to random thoughts - that right there would be an interesting fic to see.
I'm sorry, but I hated it. I think you got Snape's character written pretty well but you have to think that Crabbe and Goyle can't be that stupid if they got through any years at Hogwarts. I mean, they're idiots but not mentaly disabled.
Author's Response: I'm sorry you disliked it, but I think Crabbe & Goyle's intelligence is up for debate. There doesn't appear to be any academic demands beyond that of OWL and NEWT, and if you fail the OWLs, you can apparently retake the class like Crabbe and Goyle were doing. Further, Fred & George only got 3 OWLs each, and stayed on for sixth year.I have a friend who lives in Scotland and says that the Scottish schooling system will allow you to spend money to keep your kids in school even if they don't meet the academic requirements. It's pretty well canonically established that Draco Malfoy won't associate with non-purebloods, so we can reasonably establish that Crabbe & Goyle are purebloods, and that the family is financially well-established enough to pay to keep their kids in school.
YMMV, of course.
Great! Loved reading this! Snape is a character I'm getting to know bit by bit . . . I could just picture him in his exasperation with Crabbe & Goyle.
The teacher in me loved the letters! (The worse part probably is that I could undersatnd them because I have students like that.) That gave me a much-needed laugh to get ready for a Monday morning.
How about a sequel with Crabbe's letter?
Author's Response: Goodness, that was a fast review, the fic hasn't been on the site for six hours and not validated that long! O_o Oh god, the non-student in me cringes that you'd actually have to read something like that. Are they, at least, like, seven? *hopeful look* I *love* Snape. I mostly write fics featuring him. There's another fic of mine (Trust) that another teacher really liked his perspective. I don't know about a sequel - that may depend on my professor - this was a forum class assignment, but I'm delighted you enjoyed it nonetheless. Thanks for the review!
