Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Violence.
For a long time I have simply advoid this story because of the title and warnings, because I was scared of what would happen in your story. I have read many of your stories with these warnings before, but there was just something which keep me away from it.
Today I thought I should give it a try. And I did. I read the whole thing - even I was scared sometimes, I had to remind myself of 'This is only a story' . The thing is I truly loved your story. I love the way you descriebed them all. Great job. (Even you killed Bellatrix - I had never thought you could do it :P). I enjoyed reading this very much - even it was little hard to read.
You have a talent of writing.
Tatiana R. Black
Author's Response: Wow! I really didn't think this was one of my darker stories. It is dark, but I would say I have written worse. However, I/m really glad you liked it. And I'm glad you became so involved in it. Thanks so much for this review!
Great story... Favorites for sure.
Haven't read many stories on MNFF, but yours this is one of the best so far. Great ideas, looks like a lot of effort put into it, and really well-written.
Overall, great job!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Oh my God. That was incredible. I would print this out if I hadn't spent all my credits at school printing out all your other fics *blushes*.
Lucius had actually been afraid to hold his son–afraid that he would crush the child. Severus had never been afraid and he still remembered the first time Narcissa placed her precious son in his arms. He had fallen in love with the child in that very moment. He loved the blonde boy almost as much as he loved the boy’s mother.
I could definitely picture Lucius feeling that way, and he never really seemed very close to Draco. It was more of a master-student relationship than anything in my view. It's nice how you made Severus a softy (temporarily) without overdoing it.
Severus could guess. It was clear that the Dark Lord knew about the vow. It was expected that Narcissa would be present for her son’s punishment, but not Bellatrix. Bellatrix was there because their master knew of the vow and he intended to punish them all.
“No, my lord,” he replied, hoping to prolong the inevitable.
“Crucio,” the cold, cruel voice snarled.
This reminds me a lot of Breaking Point. But I actually prefer this setting to just Severus, Bella, Wormtail and Voldemort. It makes things a whole lot more interesting with Narcissa and Draco there as well. Severus’ lie was also a whole lot more creative, thank gosh.
Overall, excellent story. You know what? I could really picture the first chapter of Deathly Hallows being something like this. Somebody close to Draco dying, provoking him to switch sides.
Author's Response: *huggles* Thanks for the review. I hope I have time to type this response before lunch is over. Let's give it a try, shall we?
I think Lucius loves Draco and Draco loves him. But I cannot imagine him having any idea what to do with an infant. Of course, that's something Severus wouldn't know either, but he seems more adaptable. Also, I have always thought there was a bond between Severus and Draco. Even back in the first book, before we knew much of anything about either of them. There was just something about the way Snape treated him.
This setting was more emotionally charged than Breaking Point. I saved the emotional stuff for later in that fic because it was longer.
And I really hope that doesn't happen in DH. I love Draco's family--all of them. I would be as upset as him if anything were to happen to them.
Yay, I finished in time! Thanks again for the wonderful review. *more huggles*
I don't think that wanting revenge/justice for the two people that mattered the most to you makes one a monster: it just makes you human. And thats taking into account the fact that Draco witnessed the death of his mother and aunt, killing all those involved is much more easier than murdering an innocent man. I don't believe in murder, but justifiable homicide is fine by me. Just a peek into the insane mind. Temporary insanity anyone? Great for a Law& Order plot.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I don't really think of Draco as a monster here either. He's hurting. Severus, on the other hand, sees all the pain that he could inflict in his current state of mind and thinks of him as a mosnter. I also believed Draco's reaction to be very human.
Thanks again for the review.
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
Wow, that last sentance really left me speechless. I've always wanted to use that "created a monster" line, but never had anything to use it fore.
Hmm...I can't see book 7 starting like this, though. It doesn't seem like Jo's style, somehow. I dunno, I thought it might start on a more cheerful note, to give us hope before snatching it away. I thought Bill and Fleur's wedding might be a good idea.
Anyway, enough babbling. I adored your characterization of Draco, although I thought the Dark Lord wasn't as intimidating as he should me, but that's just me. It's a great story, great job!
Author's Response: The monster line kind of lacked originality, but it really fit. I liked the way it sounded so I went with it.
*smiles* If I tried to write a fic about Bill and Fleur's wedding my readers would feel obliged to hunt me down. It's not my style and I would butcher it badly. Cheerful stories are a bit of a streach for me. I pop one about about once or twice a year. I don't think I've ever written a cheerful HP fan fic.
I'm glad you liked Draco. To me, the Dark Lord is cruel and ruthless, but he is not without his charm. I find him like Dumbledore in that respect. Despite the situation or what he is thinking he will always appear calm and almost polite. That's just what I've gotten out of his character.
Anyway, thanks so much for the review. I'm really glad that you liked it.
whoa. that was really good.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it.
Impressive, Elle. I could see Draco *snapping* and going on a killing spree if something like what you wrote happened. I could actually imagine that type of scene happening b/c it made sense! Voldemort would be cruel enough to make Snape choose. I like how this was written. Well done.
Author's Response: *huggles Nicole*
Thanks so much for reviewing.
This story was actually inspired by a comment I read somewhere ages ago. Someone said that Draco's punishment for failure would be Narcissa's death. I thought that was something that could work, but it lacked a certain amount of style. Voldie is cruel and he likes torture his victims before going in for the kill. I assumed he was most angry with Severus of the lot of them, so I turned Serverus' reward into his punishment. It seemed like the twisted type of thing Voldie would do.
And I really felt for Draco. He just watched his mother and aunt die. And I believe he has a very close relationshio with his mother. Snape is, at least in his mind, responsible for his mother's death. He has lost his mother, his aunt, his mentor and his father is locked away. He is completely on his own and seeking vengence. It is a very dangerous situation. The most dangerous person is the one who has nothing left to lose.
Again, thanks so much for the review. I'm really glad that you liked it.
Fantastic! To think that voldermort has given the good side another canon so to speak. I have been waiting for someone to write this side of the story..even considered doing it myself but thankfuly you've done it and save everyone from my terrible writing...lol. You wrote it almost how I expected it to play out as ever brilliant! :)
Author's Response: Hmmm...Draco's not exactly turning to the good side. He wants to help Harry destroy Snape, but he also vowed revenge on everyone that ever hurt either of his parents or his aunt. That would include Harry and probably a lot of other Order members. After this incident Draco is really a free agent. The only person he is working for is himself.
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks so much for leaving a review.
i know its trite, but i can't help it-- "wow!"
i could see Book 7 starting this way, the last book beginning in Voldy's domain. But I hope Severus is only thinking of himself when he called Draco a monster. i hold hopes for that blonde boy. ^_^
but hey, yes, Sevy was so good here, i could almost pity him for his dilemma. Goodness. Only fools make Unbreakable Vows, i see now.
Author's Response: *smiles* I wasn't sure about doing this in Severus' POV. But these characters got the second chapter in HBP so I went with it. I like them better than the "good" characters anyway.
Anyway, I totally agree that making an Unbreakable Vow is a rather idiotic thing to do. I'm really anxious to find out what Severus' reasoning was on that one.
Thanks so much for the review.