Reviewer: mrsmcclnt
Date: 04/20/09 17:07
Chapter: Chapter 18 - Eclipse of the Heart

I must say, I not a big fan of Marauder Era fics, but this one had my interest kept.



Of course, the camaraderie between the 4 boys (James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter) is very evident in the story. I’m quite surprised to see Peter so involved in the plot. I always saw Peter as somewhat of a “Yes, Man” – someone following the other 3 around like some kind of lapdog. But here, he’s seems very vital, and very much with a backbone where as some stories have him sniveling.


I love how the chapters have the right mixture of humor and drama so that one can keep laughing through the tears. The slapstick humor between James in Sirius, particularly on their one ups man ship in detention, had me rolling.


And the little mini dramas are very interesting too. I’d never thought that Sirius would be the type to be jealous of Professor McIntosh’s growing fandom amongst the female student body. Yet the little dramaedy is interesting. Also, the little plot point that kept me going was the love loss between Remus and Haley. I think by the end of chapter 18, I was saying “Shit” too. I wish he could have told her, but it’s an author’s prerogative to make their world and their story the way that they see fit. But still, I wish. Cause when she said that she was done and walked away, I had to stop for a minute to take a breath.


But overall, the reason why I like this story so much cause it displays the simple truth of our human nature. All this time, everyone is seeing how much Sirius and Kristy are meant for each other, but the two of them are a bit reluctant to admit it to each other. And then there’s the part of the little tart in Debbie Swain, where Sirius shows her a bit of attention cause he likes feeling wanted… I find that as an honest reaction that most people feel. It’s like that old saying goes: if you can’t be with the one you love, then you love the one you’re with.


I like this story, and I’ll be watching for more chapters soon.

Reviewer: Luna_Lover
Date: 04/17/09 11:46
Chapter: Chapter 4 - So it Begins

"Things aren't always *Black* and *White*"--Sirius Black and Kirsty White. xD I just got that.
I can't wait to see what the Marauders pull on Mulciber. I love your dialogue--I'm a sucker for witty banter. On to part 2!
~LiLu

Reviewer: Luna_Lover
Date: 04/17/09 11:27
Chapter: Chapter 3 - Professor MacIntosh

Hm...I was quite amused by this chapter! I like your OCs, but I hope that the Marauders and Lily will get enough attention. You seem to be doing all right so far, though.
I don't think I quite got the "wunch of bankers"...but I did think it was funny. :)
I like the idea of Sirius and James having to compete with a hunky DADA teacher. Can't wait to see how that plays out!
~LiLu

Reviewer: Luna_Lover
Date: 04/16/09 22:40
Chapter: Chapter 2 - Genius Meet Lunacy

Well, well, well! First let me say that I was pleasantly surprised when Peter jumped in on the duel against the Slytherins. In the first chapter and from your summary I was a bit worried that you might fall into the dreaded Peter cliche, but I now have complete confidence in your Peter skills! I do think though that if you put a *little* bit more of that into your first chapter, it would help.
I liked the description you gave of the seating arrangement in the compartment; it really helped me invision (envision?) the scene. At first I thought it a bit unneccessary, but when several people jumped up to get chocolate I could see why it was there.
Okay, I'm hooked now, but I'm going to tear myself away and go to sleep before you keep me up all night! I shall be back!
~LiLu

Reviewer: Luna_Lover
Date: 04/16/09 22:21
Chapter: Chapter 1 - The Gathering

Oh, poor Sam. Unless it turns out that he really is a poncy git, in which case, go, Kirsty! But for now I sympathize with him.
"One minute she was as quiet as a mouse, and the next she was singing, dancing and yelling at the top of her voice." Sounds like Kirsty and I have something in common. :)
Can't wait to see what happens next! If I'm up all night reading this, I'm blaming you for my sleep deprivation! *shakes finger warningly*
~LiLu

Reviewer: ritaskeetertobe
Date: 04/16/09 20:42
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

Here's your Easter Egg! I absolutely love this story! I admit that Sirius is being a butthead and I am officially the founder of the “I Hate Debbie Club”! The Slytherins are being a little bit scary, though I can’t wait to see what happens next on the story! Also I’m very angry at Snape for telling Hayley, because I’d have preferred Remus telling her himself, but she needed to know so I’m glad she found out anyways. Anyways, post the next chapter fast!

Reviewer: bellaoc
Date: 04/14/09 20:37
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

Whit,
Here's your Easter egg! So I jumped to give you an egg because I lovvveee this story. It's in my favorites list and i'm hoping, begging, pleading for you to update!! I like how you don't make the relationship between Sirius/Kristy perfect and oh my gosh, you like me too? I like you! Happily ever after!. Those stories are annoying. And you've made their relationship frustratingly difficult, but it's good. Sirius is a very stubborn person, and Kirsty seems to be too. Anyway, I like your story, keep up the good work!!! And by that i mean, uh...update? hehehe...anyway, good job! :)

--Bella

Author's Response: Awww! Thank yo so much, Bella! Don't worry chapter 20 is in the queue! Yes, I love causing a bit of frustration and general havoc. As you say, it's a lot more fun than normal happily ever afters :p. Yay! Thank you, this meant a lot :D.
~Whit

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 04/14/09 11:00
Chapter: Chapter 1 - The Gathering

*Giggles a lot* You know, Whit, I have read this before but not sure if I've left a review. I often steer away from Marauder because as I write it myself I tend to think it will skew my own fic or I'll nick ideas (without meaning to -she adds hastily). However I do like this. I love your OC's because they're not perfect Mary-Sue's but have flaws and some of them are a bit dim (hee hee). I envy people that can write good OC's so hats off to you.

YES! to Sirius singing Night Fever - you've got the era right so extra bonus point from me as that's a pet peeve of mine.

Mind you one of my guilty pleasures is seeing Pettigrew look foolish so I couldn't stop laughing out loud (literally) when he walked into the wall. And Lily and Remus walking ahead of the weirdos is fabulous.
Talking of Lily, I do like the awkwardness with her and James. It's obvious she doesn't hate him anymore and he plainly adores her so I'm crossing my fingers that he gets his girl soon.

Sam seems a bit of an enigma. I can't make up my mind whether I'm going to like him yet, so I'll have to read on...

I also like Kirsty's bag and her nails with Mugle Lover on *giggles or should that be gigles*. Couldn't she have put two 'g's on one nail hee hee.

Small nit pick (I'm not a beta so you're safe)

“Hey, Northy!” cheered James Potter. James, famous for his talent on the Quidditch pitch, was the object of many girls' fixations, with his messy mop of black hair, hazel eyes that were framed by a pair of black glasses, and a mischievous grin that was to die for. He pretty much had his own fan base amongst the girls of the school. He was, quite plainly, a bit of a catch. “James,” replied Sam, nodding to his fellow Gryffindor.

There should be a space between James' word and Sam's words.

All in all, very enjoyable read, but now, dang it, you've hooked me in and I'll have to read it all.

Happy Easter. Carole xxx

Author's Response: Yay! Hello, Carole! I know what you mean with steering away from Marauder Era fics, I tend to do it too for the exact same reasons, and also because I'll probably find some really awesome ones that'll make me want to give up on this one lol.
I'm glad you liked my OCs, they're always the most worrying part.

Yeah, Kirsty gets all the cool stuff lol *envies the bag*.

Thanks so much, Carole, for the great review. I'm sat grinning away now, I bet I could even give our very own Cheshire Cat a rune for her money :p.

~Whit

Reviewer: Bethatrix
Date: 04/14/09 5:07
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

hi! i think my sister told you about me and our little obsession with this amazing fic! i love this last chapter...its sooo frustrating!! its really well written and that slytherin thing was really well done as you didnt go into to much of the nasty details but kept it creepily casual! anyway just to let you know i loved the genii thing that made me laugh for ages! thankyou soo much for writing this its really good! by the way i feel a bit stupid as i only just got the Emma matchmaking thing! .... i was a bit slow! thankyou!
/your biggest fan! heeheee!

Author's Response: Hi! I have a vague recollection of that, who's your sister? Thanks, glad you liked (if that's the right word) the Slytherin bit. Haha! Yes the genii bit was a good writing moment for me lol. Yay! I always wanted to meet my biggest fan teehee. Thanks so much :D! xx

Reviewer: Fiffer Haliwell
Date: 03/26/09 11:19
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

Wow this chapter was really good. Even though the slytherings were totally creepy you did a great job of writing them. I feel really bad for Kristy I totally know how she feels. However I understand Sirius too. Debbie just seems horrible, but such an interesting character you know. I can't wait to see what happens. Please up date soon. And again sorry for the lack of reviews.

Author's Response: Thank you! Thanks, in a way it was fun to write the Slytherins 'cos I don't often get to write the evil side, but at the same time it made me uncomfortable, which I suppose was a good thing as it proved I'd conjured up the right effect. Thanks so much, you'll be glad to hear that chapter 20 is now in the queue :D.

Reviewer: kritchen
Date: 03/23/09 22:27
Chapter: Chapter 18 - Eclipse of the Heart

First off, Can we feed Debbie to the monster in the lake? Or maybe to the giants...

Second, You drive me crazy will all this back and forth between Sirius and Kirsty. I want something solid man!

Third, I was NOT expecting the thing with Remus and Hayley. I kind of forgot about it in fact. Make it right! lol.

Great job as ever. My strong reaction means I care which means I love it.

Author's Response: Oooh, now feeding Debbie to the squid could be an interesting plot point... lol. But I love driving people crazy :D. Glad to hear I caught you off guard, and thank you!

Reviewer: kritchen
Date: 03/23/09 20:32
Chapter: Chapter 17 - Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Here's a Pair of Hole-Ridden Boxer Shorts, Just for You! Part Two

A kiss! A kiss! Ohemgee! A kiss! Lol. Girls like Debbie make me roll my eyes. I like Kirsty!

Author's Response: Hehe! Thought that'd make you happy :D. Yes, I don't like girls like Debbie, I'll stick to the Kirsty fanclub with you I think lol.

Reviewer: kritchen
Date: 03/23/09 20:21
Chapter: Chapter 17 - Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Here's a Pair of Hole-Ridden Boxer Shorts, Just for You!

I know I know. I have failed as your biggest fan! I just got so busy in life that I didn't have time to read your fantastic story!

I must say I love the intrigue and mystery going on right now. The humor also makes me giggle aloud which takes some effort. :D

Author's Response: Yay! You're back! *hugs* Thanks so much! Great to hear that you're still enjoying it :D.

Reviewer: Afifa
Date: 03/22/09 11:49
Chapter: Chapter 13 - Yuletide

Um, I'm back. :D I warned you that I would be... it took me long enough. Seven new chapters to read. Awesome. :D Well, on with the review then. :)

You know, I don't think I've ever mentioned this before in any of my previous reviews, but Kirsty's enchanted bag was a fantastic invention. Really, it's so cool. Sort of like an online blog where one posts and the friends comment and such. It's something not exactly important to the story but it adds a wonderful touch to it. I wish I owned one. Sell me one? :D



He really hoped that there would be many more such evenings to come as that night, for the first time, he had truly felt a part of the group. He knew he would never infiltrate the closeness that they all shared, and part of him did not even want to, they were brilliant as they were. In his opinion, the fact that the group had willingly accepted him was enough.



I like this part. It shows that Sam has a lot of fun with the Marauders and the girls, that they were all together in the real sense. But he's truthful enough to acknowledge to himself that no matter how lovely a time they had together, and even though he liked being with them and appreciated that they acted as if he was part of the group, he would never be able to fit in properly. And he's not complaining, he's just content with the way the things are. Excellent characterization!



Another thing I noticed. Again, a pretty random thing. Lol. Sam kisses Emma right after he wakes up. >.> Don't get me wrong, I in no way mean anything bad, I'm just pointing out something which happens in so many books and movies. Guy's sleeping, girl arrives, he kisses her. I personally would find it very weird and sort of yucky kissing a guy who just woke up and hadn't had the time to brush his teeth. Unless, of course, Sam did a cleaning spell before snogging Emma. ;)



I love how much the Christmas reactions wary. I like how Remus is all overly excited about Christmas presents. How he isn't the one going logically like, 'Let's get this done and over with. The sooner we do, the faster we can occupy our beds again.' Something like that if you know what I mean. Lol. He's sarcastic and mature, but when it comes to Christmas, he acts like a kiddo unlike the rest of the Marauders who prefer sleep over the ocassion. Though I clearly do not blame Sirius on professing his hate for his friends. Poor guy waking up at seven am on a holiday. Lol. [I am up right now at five am, but that's because I never slept. >.> Lol.] Emma's acting like... well... Emma... excited and impatient. :D



Sam received a bottle of nice smelling aftershave from his parents, which he hoped Emma would approve of.



This made me laugh. Lol. Approval needed so she continues to kiss him, huh? :p Lol. The rest of the gifts were... hilarious! Especially the picture Sam received. XD Lol. James' gift reminded me of Krum's figure which Ron bought. I love how you have Remus get lots of chocolate. A tiny PoA thing, but I like it. :) Haylee loves 'Pride and Prejudice' maybe because her maker loves it? :p And a reader [that's me] loves it, too. :D Peter being great at Chess is fantastic. There is something in which he's good at. And Chess does need brains. So it isn't as if he's good at something dumb. Also, Sirius' gift do Kirsty... damn. Now why can't he give me a necklace? :( Lol.



Sam was pretty observant in this chapter. The girls know about Sirius and Kirsty, and now Sam's guessed that Kirsty likes Sirius as well. Are the Marauders to thick that they can't see that? Really. This has gone too far now. Everyone notices everything except the people who can change what's happening. Sigh. And then he notices the look in Sirius' eyes... that the feelings are reciprocated... and he tells Emma. Why in the world can't anyone else notice that? :/ Or is Sam being overly astute? Huh.



Oh! And I found something :



“Delicious thanks,” replied Sam, patting his stomach.

I'd say add a comma before 'thanks'. Otherwise, it sounds more like you're saying that 'thanks' is 'delicious'. Lol.



“We compliment each other beautifully then.”



I think you mean 'complement' with an 'e' instead of an 'i'.



The playing in the snow was fun. :) Skating, snow mans, snow balls, snow angels. Wow. And with friends. Perfect setting! The part actually reminded me of my last year at school. No, we didn't do anything with snow seeing that it doesn't snow here, but we did leave a 'mark' behind as Remus says. Though one thing which I noticed is that Remus never mentioned anyone else than the group. He could've made a random observation of a couple walking or something. Just to say that there's other human life as well and not just a few Gryffindors. But it’s not like, important. Maybe he's too busy having fun with his pals?



And damn, man. What is up with the moon? :@ Christmas night? Really! *hugs Remus tightly* *gets glared by Haylee* Lol. But I do feel very sorry for the poor guy. And Haylee too, since it isn't her fault anyway. Why can't Remus just tell her and get done with? :/ Oh, well, I hope the transformation goes fine. :(



I am off to read the next chapter. :D



- Afifa



Author's Response: Woop! Another Afifa review! Oooh maybe I should set up a business selling enchanted bags. Oooh! Have just had a spark of inspiration for story *must write it down before I forget* Thanks, Afifa! lol.
Yeah it was important to me to establish Sam's role within the group.I didn't want people believing that he'd become like the fifth Marauder, because that's what I don't want to happen. So I'm glad you liked it.
Hehe! It was way too much fun writing the reactions to Christmas and the presents. One of my favourite bits in the whole story.

Thanks so much for another brill review! I look forward to the next one :D.

~Whit

Reviewer: The-heir-of-Gryffindor
Date: 03/13/09 13:38
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

third thing here....
Im happy the itle came up in convo!!!
I loved that line!!!

Author's Response: Hehe thanks!

Reviewer: The-heir-of-Gryffindor
Date: 03/13/09 13:34
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

And also WHAT! why did you do that!!!
BOO debbie...
and, on a different note, i have to say that the lily and sev bit was excellent.
Ew those slytherins are nasty!

Author's Response: HAHA! Boo Hiss at Debbie *feels like she's in a pantomime*. Yeah, it was nice to write some Lily/Sev interaction. Yes those Slytherins are very nasty. Thanks for the review :).

Reviewer: The-heir-of-Gryffindor
Date: 03/13/09 13:32
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

I'm crying again....

Author's Response: Awww I'm so sorry! Don't cry *hugs*

Reviewer: gerberb
Date: 03/13/09 0:49
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

An other good chapter. Really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Thanks :D!

Reviewer: mugglefan22
Date: 03/12/09 11:11
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

Great chapter.
Lol we wont hate you too much for that little twist. As long as there is light
at the end of the tunnel.
In the form of Sirus and Kirsty together forever :)
Regulus' plan is sickening.
eugh so much for brotherly love aye.
And so the plot thickens once more.
I have the strangest feeling that i'm not going to like Debbie in the slightest.
Please update soon.

Author's Response: Thanks! Lol, oh there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm not promising that it's not a train :p. Yep those Slytherins are a bad bunch, but I wouldn't be too quick to judge dear old Reggie... Haha! I have the strangest feeling that not many people are going to like Debbie. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: bigtimer
Date: 03/12/09 9:40
Chapter: Chapter 19 - Love Will Keep You Up All Night

i do really feel sorry for kirsty, you've just got to get them togeather and soon. and those slimy slytherins will get theirs if you go after the girls

Author's Response: I know, poor Kirst. Yeah, Slytherins = nasty

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