Reviewer: Luna_Lover
Date: 07/05/09 16:15
Chapter: Chapter 5 - The Pickup Line

Hello, Whit! I have returned to complete my poor half-finished neglected review for you.

I enjoyed the apple-throwing scene. Poor Sam…

I was cheering for Remus in the flashback scene when he backed up Kirsty’s accusation towards James and Sirius. It’s about time the poor boy showed more backbone than he does in canon.

Nitpick alert: [i]“ he guessed that he must be loosing blood at an alarmingly fast rate.”[/i] Should be “losing” with one O.

I’ll admit I was a bit surprised that McGonagall gave Remus and Peter detentions for the lake scene, even though theirs were sins of omission. It seems to contradict what she did in the previous chapter, when she gave detentions to only the combatants who used offensive spells in the courtyard battle.

[i] “ Moving swiftly, Kirsty got out of the way, and Emma nearly careered into the wall”[/i] When I first read this, I thought you meant “careened” instead of “careered,” but when I saw it a second time I looked it up and found out it is a word. You taught me a new word! :D

Nitpick alert number two: [i] “the sensation it bought was not a bad one.” Should be “brought” instead of “bought,” right?

Aw, poor Sirius; Kirsty is being nearly as oblivious as Sam! Not really… And I wonder what James’ reasons are for not having Sirius on the Quidditch team? He seems kind of depressed at the moment, but it might be just the rain and the tryout difficulties.

[i] “she flipped him a v sign.”[/i] I’m not sure what this means…is she holding up two fingers, like the peace sign or v for victory? I don’t quite understand why she would be doing that if Sirius hit her in the head with a sponge…

I liked the way you devoted much of this chapter to flash-backs; it lets us get a glimpse into the characters’ back story and how then ended up being such friends, something that can sometimes be a bit lacking in Marauder era stories that begin in 7th year.

Good job! I remember what happened in what I read awhile ago now, so I’m ready to move forward.

~LiLu

Reviewer: potterchassid
Date: 06/17/09 16:02
Chapter: Chapter 1 - The Gathering

When will black and White finally become checker board? Please update!!!!!

Reviewer: Lympha
Date: 06/17/09 12:12
Chapter: Chapter 1 - The Gathering

I love your story and hope you will be able to update soon. Kirsty is amazing and it drives me crazy how Sirius and Kirsty always take one step forward and two backwards. Hope they are going to get together soon.

Reviewer: crzyabtpttr
Date: 06/04/09 8:23
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

HEY! I LUV U AND UR STORY BUT JUST GET THEM TGTHER WILL ????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLZZ I REALY WANT DA NXT CHAPTR SOON!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: magichick123
Date: 05/13/09 11:17
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

oh for gods sakes kirsty just get them together!!!!! grrr yes this is hayleys sister hannah!!!!!! GRRR

Reviewer: magichick123
Date: 05/13/09 11:16
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

oh for gods sakes kirsty just get them together!!!!! grrr yes this is hayleys sister hannah!!!!!! GRRR

Reviewer: Fiffer Haliwell
Date: 05/07/09 19:04
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

Good luck in your exams casue we will be expecting an update as soon as you are done. That said this chapter was brilliant. I loved how sirius and Kristy interacted. It kills me that Sirius heard that last promise yet at the same time I hope he knows it was the promise or kristy's life almost. I really hate Debbie right now then again I do get where she is comming from. I can't wait for an update.

Reviewer: Bethatrix
Date: 05/06/09 12:50
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

ahhhhhh omg i hate this chapter... well i really love it but its just so god damn frustrating!!!!!!! please get them together or i think i may die in frustration!!!! thanks!!!!

Reviewer: Bethatrix
Date: 05/06/09 11:44
Chapter: Chapter 11 - Patroni

this is definately my favorite chapter of this amazing fic!!! i cant wait for sirius and kirtsy to be together!!! thanks!!!

Reviewer: delirioustk
Date: 05/02/09 23:06
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

Grr...i thought they'd get together in this chap after your note that we should savour it. :p But this works too! Great chapter...i'm anxiously waiting the next one and i hope Sirius doesn't chicken out and at least try to get Kristy!!

Reviewer: Ravenlily
Date: 05/02/09 23:01
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

please hurry and write some more. I love this fanfiction. but please tell me that kirsty and sirius will get together. It is kind of driving me insane. Hope your exams go well.

Reviewer: saywhat_marauder
Date: 05/02/09 15:47
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

hey! great chappie! can we get some more Remus/Hayley action? i just adore them!

Reviewer: JeeviS
Date: 05/02/09 13:38
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two

I liked it... :D... pity Kirsty n Sirius...too many complications keep happening which prevent them from being together... i hope he understands that she made the promise the way he had made to Debbie... by the way wat happened to the Slytherin's and their "plan"??? update soon ya.... cant wait 4 the next chappie

Reviewer: timidcat
Date: 04/28/09 23:18
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory

Great update!

Reviewer: Fiffer Haliwell
Date: 04/28/09 21:48
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory

Wow that was an intense chapter i can't wait for an update. Unfortunatly I must it seems. BEst of luck in your exams like always this was excelent writing. Sirius is defenetly jelouse and it won't be long before one f them errupts.

Reviewer: Luna_Lover
Date: 04/28/09 20:29
Chapter: Chapter 4 - So it Begins: Part Two

Another great chapter!
I can foresee some fascinating complications from Hayley being the only one in the dark about Remus’ furry problem. I’m glad to see that Lily, although she disapproves of some of the boys’ antics, is not as uptight as she sometimes is portrayed. I also appreciate the way you describe the Slytherins: they aren’t all big ugly gorillas or scrawny rats.
It’s interesting how Peter is viewed by the other Marauders as the “weak link,” even though he seems to play an equal role in their escapades and, as we have seen, is an excellent dueler. I wonder if this will lead to resentment in the future.
Again, I really like your description of the big duel scene. You do a good job of describing the action and who’s doing what. It really helps me visualize the scene. I was surprised at Severus’ outburst when Wilkes started to call Lily a Mudblood. I didn’t think he was the type to stand up for Lily to his friends, but only to quietly not participate in insulting her, until that fateful day at the lake. I suppose he must have blurted it out without thinking.
I’m interested to see how Regulus’ character will be developed, and his relationship with Sirius. You’ve done a good job with that so far.
I’m glad you clarified that about Kirsty’s scar. I wasn’t very worried, but it’s good to hear.
Nice work!
~LiLu

Reviewer: The-heir-of-Gryffindor
Date: 04/26/09 11:09
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory

I loved it as usual.
Pretty heated stuff in this chapter.
And Debbie is still a @#!%$.
Anyhoo, thanks for the update and goodluck in your exams!

Reviewer: bellatrix-black-lestrange
Date: 04/26/09 6:10
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory

i hate debbie swain too
Sirius really needs to get over her quick soo Kirsty doesn't move on

another great chapter i cant wait for the next :-)

Reviewer: rayasunshine
Date: 04/25/09 6:45
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory

Ugh! It was so brilliant, yet it felt so short!
Please update ASAP!

Author's Response: Teehee, that's cos it's a two parter :D. I'll be putting the second half in the queue later today so keep your eyes peeled. Thanks for the review :D.

Reviewer: JeeviS
Date: 04/25/09 6:19
Chapter: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory

Hi,
Your right, I love it! :D Was Sirius going to tell her just now how he felt abt her??? I cant wait for the next chapter.... hope Remus and Hayley would get back together... and there will be more of James and Lily!! Gud luck for ur A level!!!!

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