*waves* Hey Brandi! I'm reading this right before I'm supposed to go to school, so I'm sorry if this is a shortie... *squishes and hugs*
I really love this story. I'm not much of a slash fan (though Remus/Sirius makes sense... darn POA!) but this really is good, in a slightly disturbing way :P
You kept Lucius, Narcissa (though we don't see very much of her in the books) and Snape in character the whole way through, which I find is very hard to do. But being the favalous (like my new word? :P) beta you are, I know that characterisation is your best!
Please keep writing, Brandi! I know about your Marauder-central story, and you should post it soon(ish, because I know about your University stuff). Hope to hear from you soon, and I'll send you one of my WIPs to beta soon if it fits with your schedule. Sorry for the ranting, my e-mail is down...
You know I love ya, Brandi! *hugs to death*
Author's Response: Hey, thanks! I'm glad you enjoy this story, because it's probably my FAVORITE I have up on the site!! I really would love to post that Marauders story, but I don't want to leave a WIP hanging on the sixth chapter for a semester. :S Thanks for the encouragement! Love ya!! <3 (BTW, in two weeks, uni will be finished for a month, so I can beta then!)
Hello-- I remember you. You were my beta, once upon a year ago! Well, darling, I must say that I loved the fic. It was very bittersweet.
Lucius/Narcissa/Severus triangles are my favorite, but usually, Severus and Narcissa end up together. :] So, on to the text, yes?
I really loved how you characterized Snape as the soothing, psychiatrist type. When the first go the Spinner's End and Lucius jumps on the green couch, I imagined him with an ice pack on his head, divulging all his problems to Snape with the latter listened and nodded, wore glasses, and wrote things down on a notepad.
While we're on the note of characters, both Lucius and Narcissa were well-developed, as well. Even though she appeared only once, Cissy left a lasting impression, and Lucius was so reluctantly in love.
Or he turned out to be that way.
It's such a compact little tale. Like a soap opera condensed into three thousand words (only with a better script).
You know, it actually reminded me of Jane Austen, a little. All the actions begins, takes places, and ends in dialogue, which is tricky, especially for a slash fic. Most slashes I've read tend to be too trashy, hence they lose any real significance. Yours was quite good though. Not trashy. Just very turbulent and messy relationship stuff. Which makes for the very best fics, of course.
My favorite line was, "'But I suppose it's perfectly fine for you to live a double life.' Lucius' words fell on dead air and Severus froze, refusing to look at him. Severus stood up and walked to the window as Lucius stared down at his hands, realizing how cruel he truly could be. "
I think it really illustrates their relationship quite well. Even through all of Snape's talking, it still isn't perfect. Lucius' and Severus' different personalities stand out in this passage.
Overall-- Need you even ask? I loved it! But then, you being such a good beta, it isn't any wonder that you are a talented writer, as well.
Until next time,
Author's Response: Do I even need to say... You just made my day. And I'm not even joking. <3 Personally, this story is my favorite one I've ever written, and I get quite excited about it! I really hate trashy slash fics (or any trashy romance, really), but I like to portray slash as something more than smut. I think it's an insult and a horrible over-simplification to portray same-sex relationships as purely physical. And I thought the dynamic between Lucius and Severus was just perfect for that. What fascinating characters! *squee* Ah, I'm nothing but a fangirl. :P Hehe, well, I'll say it again, because I'm grinning ear to ear: Thank you SO much for the kind review! I'm so happy now, and after a long and stressful day, this was just what I needed and so much more. Love ya! -Brandi
That is good!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much!!! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it!! <3
thats a great starting chapter! i really liked it. write more soon! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it! :D I had intended for this to be a one-shot, so I probably won't add on any more to this story, but I'll definitely have to write some others about Snape/Lucius. How fun! <3
First off, I just want to say really quickly that I loved this story; I thought it was very good in portraying this sort of pairing. (And I'm actually a bit surprised by how much I like it, mainly considering that I'm not usually a huge fan of slash or having Lucius in any other relationship other than Narcissa.) But anyway ...
And now, I'll go a bit deeper in my review.
I think the way that you portrayed Narcissa, Lucius, and Severus was excellent. They seemed to remain in-character, for the most part, regardless of the situation / unconventional relations that they were in.
The ending, I think, was great, too. It provided the one-shot a complete tie back into canon -- almost as if the entire thing could actually have taken place in the books. Also, you seem to provide Severus with a bit more events to make him into the bitterer person that he is in the series, like his losing Lucius and the ending of their relationship increased his bitter temperament, turning him more into the Potions Master that we know in the present time.
The only thing that didn't quite seem right, for me, was that the dialogue seemed a bit unnatural or forced in several parts. Some of that had to do with the "dears" that seemed to run a bit too rampant in the Severus/Lucius moments, but I don't believe it was anything too drastic or such.
On the whole, the story was really good, like I said earlier, and I enjoyed it quite a lot.
Author's Response: Thank you for such a thorough review! I'm really, really glad that you liked it - this story is like my baby. :D It's my absolute favorite writing project I've finished to date. (And the funny thing is, I don't do slash that much, either!) You know, the dialogue DOES sound a little funny in parts, but I'd attribute that (not to make excuses :P) to my obsessive reading of Oscar Wilde and all his "dandy" characters, and to the fact that I thought I'd have to "change" or show a different side of Lucius and Severus both to get this story to work. Because honestly, I don't think of it as canon in the least, but sometimes, reading through this story, I start to convince myself otherwise. :P Hahaha, but seriously, I'm THRILLED that you liked it! And thanks for reviewing so nicely! <3
Awww it was cute and sad in a twisted way! Bravo! I was really sad I kinda was rooting for the relationship to work out. Very well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed! :D I know, it killed me to have to break them apart like that. :(